


Cyrano: To Asami, With Love

by Angel_of_the_Starz



Series: Smitten in Ink [1]
Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Bending, Angst, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, F/F, Forgiveness, Modern Era, Romance, Secret Admirer, Secret Crush, Secret Identity, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Slow Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-25
Updated: 2016-01-22
Packaged: 2018-04-01 02:50:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 65,957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4003024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angel_of_the_Starz/pseuds/Angel_of_the_Starz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>COMPLETE!</p><p>Loosely based off of Cyrano de Bergerac, and Seaside Letters by Denise Hunter. Modern/AU - No bending. Korrasami.</p><p>The last thing Korra had ever expected to happen in her life is to fall in love with her best friend, Asami Sato – especially since she is connected to one of her biggest past regrets.</p><p>Asami has received notes from a mysterious figure; for the past three years. As her senior year of university comes to a close, she is desperate to find the person behind the messages and declare her feelings for them.</p><p>Korra knows that if she comes even close to finding out whom the person behind the messages is, it would be a disaster since the person Asami is trying to find is herself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"Korra!" Asami Sato called out from across the cafeteria. She stuck her hand into her pocket and pulled out a few wrinkled dollar bills. She smiled graciously at the server before picking up her tray and rushing across the room, easily side stepping the many people in her way, as she walked over to their table. "Guess what?" she asked while taking her seat next to her friend.

Korra looked up from her Health and Wellness text book. She smiled brightly over at her friend, ignoring the twinge in her gut. She felt her hands shake as she marked the page she was reading, and placed the book back into her backpack. Upon noticing the rose pink paper in Asami's hand, her smile instantly faded. She felt her throat instantly lock.

"What's up?" she rasped.

"I received a new note," Asami gushed. "I found it in one of my textbooks." She held the note tightly in her hands before smiling happily. Korra tried to match her excitement, but easily failed as she watched her friend, open the note. "It's a quote. Read it."

Korra forced her hands steady as she received the message from her friend. She looked down at the handwriting, before looking over at Asami, who was watching her expectantly, digging into a fruit cup. Korra cleared her throat before reading aloud:

_"You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams." ― Dr. Seuss_

"Isn't that sweet?" Asami asked. "She remembered that I love Dr. Seuss. I must have told her that a few years ago," she added. Korra bit her bottom lip, trying to keep herself from smiling.

_Maybe she knows. There's no way, I was so careful._

"What makes you think your secret admirer is a she?" Korra asked lightly. She pinched herself on the thigh, congratulating herself on being able to keep her voice calm and light; a vast difference to her quivering insides.

"Guys don't normally remember the things I tell them," Asami answered simply. "At least, not the things I tell them."

_She sounds so happy. Don't look at her. Don't get trapped in her eyes. Don't…too late._

Korra knew she was staring, but she couldn't help it. She often found herself zoning out when her thoughts ended up settling on Asami. They had become friends during their freshmen year through their mutual friend Mako. He is actually both Korra's and Asami's ex. While he had dated Asami first, Korra started to grow feelings for him and they soon became a couple. After dating for six months, the two of them had broken up and Asami had resumed dating him once more. Their second relationship didn't last too long. While at odds, more on Korra's part, at the beginning, the two grew close and became best friends. As uncomfortable as he is around the two of them, three had remained friends while making their way through university.

The dark skinned girl watched as Asami cut up a piece of chicken on her plate into small pieces before popping one into her mouth. She watched as her red lips close around the piece of food; the corners curling up into a smile as she savored the flavors. Korra silently scanned Asami's profile, taking note of her gorgeous green eyes – she still hasn't come up with a name for the specific shade – to her silky hair, before trailing down to her slim fingers, which were also painted red, working on opening a small package of barbeque sauce.

Korra jumped when Asami snapped her fingers by her right ear. She smiled sheepishly as Asami chuckled around a mouthful of food. Korra carefully re-folded the note before carefully placing it onto the table. "So, you're bisexual?" Korra asked slowly.

Asami held up a finger, before rapidly chewing her food. She swallowed and took a sip of her tear before turning a bit in her seat. Her knees brushed against Korra's, sending a jolt down the shorter girl's spine. "I don't believe in labels," she answered. "I think everyone should love whomever they want." Asami brushed her long hair over her shoulder. "Don't you think?"

"Sure," she squeaked. Asami shook with laughter as Korra's cheeks turned a bright red. "I agree. There shouldn't be any restrictions on love." Korra picked up a tangerine from her tray and started to unpeel it. "So, you think you're in love with this person?"

Asami ducked her head as her cheeks turned a light pink. Korra almost missed the pigment change, but she spotted the tips of her friend's ears turning red. The harder Asami blushes the more red her ears become. It was something, among many other things, Korra noticed about her.

"I know I am," Asami answered with confidence. "I know, it sounds silly to love someone you haven't met." She tucked a stray piece of her hair behind her ear. She shyly folded her hands in her lap before shrugging. "She's different, though. I know we've only exchanged small notes and instant messages, but she's incredible. I can see myself being with her."

"That sounds…nice," Korra said. "I just hope you aren't getting in over your head."

"We've been communicating for a few years, now. I know I don't know her name nor have I seen a photo of her, but I feel like I know her." Asami shifted her gaze down a bit. "I don't think that tangerine can be peeled anymore," she giggled.

Korra frowned in confusion before looking down at her hands. She had finished peeling the tangerin, its peel in pieces on the floor, and she had started to tear the fruit apart. Its juices were running down her fingers. "I…r-really like the juice," Korra stammered. To prove her point, she dumped the fruit onto her plate before lifting her hands and licking the sticky substance off of her fingers. Asami laughed before moving to eat more of her food. Her fork paused on the way to her mouth. She slowly lowered it back onto her tray. Korra leaned over and shook her lightly. "Are you okay?"

"I want to find her," Asami announced. Korra felt her throat instantly go dry. She leaned back in her chair and stared at her friend with wide eyes. "Don't try to change my mind. I have feelings for her and I want to meet her in person."

"That's something I like about you," Korra said after clearing her throat. "You always know what you want and go for it."

"Will you help me find her?"

"Excuse me?"

"You're my best friend and the only person I've told about this," Asami admitted. "You'd be the only person I fully trust with this whole thing. So, what do you say?"

_Let's see: being able to spend way more time with you one on one? Being able to be near the mix of vanilla and burning leaves perfume? Being able to marvel over how gorgeous you are? I say, let's do it._

"I don't think so," Korra answered with an apologetic smile. She felt dread wash over her as Asami's face fell. "It's nothing personal, but I just have a lot on my plate right now."

"It's okay," Asami answered quietly. She took a deep breath before putting on a smile. Korra could see that it didn't reach her eyes, but she refused to comment on it. "Your studies come first." She reached over and patted Korra lightly on the knee. The darker girl felt the warmth of her palm radiating through her pant leg. "I'm sure you're getting tired of me talking about her…this whole thing."

"I never get tired of you," Korra answered. "I love being with you."

This time, her smile fully reached her eyes. Asami moved her hand from Korra's knee to rub the back of the hand that was resting on the table. She ignored the sticky residue and little bits of saliva still on her fingers. "That's so sweet of you to say," she said quietly.

"What are friends for?"

Asami held Korra's gaze for a few seconds before pulling her hand away. "Well, I have to go and meet with my advisors about my thesis." She gathered up her tray, with half-eaten food still on the plate. "I'll see you later."

"Don't forget your note." Korra gingerly picked up the pink stationary before holding it out.

"Of course. I wouldn't want to forget that." Asami balanced her tray on her hip before reaching out and plucking the note from her hand. Their fingers lightly brushed against each other. Korra's hand jumped a bit at the contact. Asami slipped the note into her pocket. "Bye, Korra."

Korra smiled and waved as she left. The minute the engineer left the room, she groaned loudly and dropped her head to the table. She hissed at the pain that rushed through her skull, causing her temples to throb. It was better than the pain that rushed through her heart every time Asami brought up those infernal letters.

 _Way to go Korra, you should have stopped while you were ahead._ She mentally slapped herself in the forehead. She still kept her head down when she heard the seat next to her shift, indicating someone had sat down next to her. Korra felt a punch to her shoulder. She picked up her head and glared over at Kuvira.

"What was that for?" she demanded.

"For missing your chance to tell her…again," Kuvira answered before taking a bite out of her sandwich. She moved the food to one side of her mouth with her tongue, before talking out of the corner of her lips. "How'd she like the note?"

"Maybe you could have added more to it than a measly quote," Korra suggested with bite.

"Maybe you shouldn't bite the hand that feeds you," she answered with an eye roll. "She liked it. I watched you two from the checkout line."

"I'm sorry; I'm just get so jittery around her." Korra cleared her throat before licking her bottom lip. Kuvira regarded her with a raised eyebrow before swallowing. "Asami thinks she's in love."

Kuvira's eyes widened. She paused, her sandwich inches away from her face. She dropped it onto her plate before grabbing her friend by the shoulders. "Korra," she hissed, "after she graduates this year, she'll be gone to take over her family's company. I think it'd be best if you told her. What could happen?"

"We could stop being friends, and I don't want that," Korra answered. She reached up and grabbed a hold of Kuvira's wrists, roughly pulling her hands off. She looked at her shoulders, scanning the fabric of her shirt for stains. "I would have to tell her what happened. It's too big of a risk."

"So, then how will you end things when she graduates?" Kuvira returned to eating her sandwich. "Dump her by note? We're not in middle school."

"I haven't thought ahead that far ahead," Korra muttered. "I'll figure something out."

"Hey," Asami cried as she rejoined them at the table. She gave Kuvira a quick wave before walking over to Korra's side of the table. Asami and Kuvira didn't really get along, Although, they were both close friends with Korra so they made sure to be civil with one another. Korra eyed him closely before feeling a wave of dread wash over her. She stiffened when she felt Asami's lips at the edge of her ear. "Bolin agreed to help me find out who I've been in contact with."

Korra reached out and gripped Kuvira's upper thigh underneath the table, digging her nails in. Kuvira jumped and began to choke on her food. Her face turned red as she started to cough. Korra leaned over and thumped her twice on the back. Kuvira's cheeks puffed up before she spat out the chewed bits of her sandwich. She breathed deeply, exchanging a panicked look with Korra before taking a big gulp of water.

"Are you okay?" Asami asked.

"Fine," she rasped.

Korra jumped up when the alarm on her cell phone went off. "Look at that," she said, showing everyone the bright screen. "I have to go. I'll see you guys later." She could feel Kuvira's intense gaze on her as she gathered up her backpack. Korra tossed her plates and trash onto her tray before pushing her chair in.

"Are we still studying tonight, Korra?" Asami asked. "I made a new playlist to help us focus."

"Sounds great." She forced a smile. "I'll see you guys later." Korra gave them a small wave before turning on her heel and speed walking towards the exit, dumping her tray onto the conveyer belt that led into the kitchen on the way out. Once she stepped through the double doors of the cafeteria, she slumped against the wall and held her head in her hands.

"Way to go, Korra," she muttered. "How are you going to get yourself out of this one?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is going to be a slow build/burn/romance. Tags will be added and updated as the story progresses. This story will most likely be updated somewhat sporadically since I have so many other stories I'm working on that are on a schedule. I just had to post this story once I got the idea.
> 
> I hope you all like it.


	2. Chapter 2

"I want to find her," Asami announced. She had to bite her lip to keep herself from smiling when she noticed Korra swallow hard. She wanted to reach out and reassure her that there was no need to be nervous. She wanted to just coax the darker girl into admitting everything, so that they could finally clear the air and not have any awkwardness between them. Try and calm down, Asami. You're going to make things worse. "Don't try to change my mind. I have feelings for her and I want to meet her in person."

"That's something I like about you," Korra answered after clearing her throat. "You always know what you want and go for it."

_Why did she have to do that? Every time she compliments me I just want to throw my arms around her and thank her properly._ "Will you help me find her?"

"Excuse me?"

_Oh no! She's backing away. I have to do something._ "You're my best friend and the only person I've told about this," Asami admitted. "You'd be the only person I fully trust with this whole thing. So, what do you say?"

_Just say yes, Korra. We'd be able to spend more time together. Maybe you will become comfortable enough to tell me._ Asami watched patiently as Korra thought over her words, well, as patiently as she could. She wrung her pale hands together underneath the table as she watched her friend's blue eyes shift slightly from the left and to the right. Asami deflated a bit when she noticed the grimace set upon her friend's face.

"I don't think so," Korra answered with an apologetic smile. "It's nothing personal, but I just have a lot on my plate right now."

"It's okay," Asami answered quietly. _No it's not. What are you so afraid of, Korra? Do you think I won't love you properly?_ She took a deep breath before putting on a smile. "Your studies come first." She reached over and patted Korra lightly on the knee. "I'm sure you're getting tired of me talking about her…this whole thing."

"I never get tired of you," Korra answered. "I love being with you."

_I love being with you too. So why can't we be together?_ Asami through with a bright smile. She felt her hands begin to shake and her palms sweating. She quickly removed her hand before placing it on top of Korra's, ignoring the sticky residue and little bits of saliva still on her fingers after she ate a bit of fruit. "That's so sweet of you to say," she said quietly.

"What are friends for?"

_She's just so cute when she's flustered._ Asami held Korra's gaze for a few seconds before pulling her hand away. "Well, I have to go and meet with my advisers about my thesis." She gathered up her tray, with half-eaten food still on the plate. "I'll see you later."

"Don't forget your note." Korra gingerly picked up the pink stationary before holding it out.

"Of course. I wouldn't want to forget that." Asami balanced her tray on her hip before reaching out and plucking the note from her hand. Their fingers lightly brushed against each other. Korra's hand jumped a bit at the contact. _She must really be crushing hard._ Asami slipped the note into her pocket. "Bye, Korra."

Asami held her smile as she dumped her food into the trash can. She placed her tray in the tray return before exiting the cafeteria. Her smile quickly dropped. She let out a light whine before stomping her foot to the ground. "Gosh, Korra, you're so stupid," she whimpered.

"What's wrong, Asami?" Bolin asked. He was on his way into the cafeteria but quickly joined her side once he noticed her look of discontent. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Bolin," she muttered before crossing her arms over her chest. "It's nothing, really."

"Are you sure?" he pressed. "Because you look like you could use some help."

Asami looked over at him. He was wearing a small pout. She couldn't help but smile at it before dropping her arms. _Wait a second!_ Bolin looked at her in surprise as her face lit up. "Maybe you can help me!" She grabbed him by the arm and pulled him over to a small bench. "Don't laugh okay, but I've been receiving these messages for a few years now." Asami handed him the pink paper.

Bolin carefully unfolded it and read the tiny script. He gasped in shock before smiling widely. "And you want me to help you find him?"

_Him? Of course he thinks it's a guy._ "Yes, that would be fantastic," Asami answered. "I don't know what you'd want in return. I could pay you for your services."

"Oh, that's not necessary," Bolin said with a shake of his head. "Anything for a friend." He gave Asami a big hug. "Everyone deserves to find love."

Asami quickly walked over to the double doors of the cafeteria and peered in through the window. She couldn't help but frown when she spotted Korra and Kuvira at the table she had just left. It wasn't that she disliked Kuvira, but she felt that the girl could, at times, be a bad influence on Korra.

She held up a finger towards Bolin, before taking a deep breath and re-entering the cafeteria. She made a beeline straight towards Korra's table. At first, she was walking at a normal speed but couldn't help but move her legs faster as she neared the table. Asami wasn't sure if her heart was bounding because of the sudden acceleration of her gait or from seeing Korra in general.

"Hey," Asami cried as she rejoined them at the table. She gave Kuvira a quick wave before walking over to Korra's side of the table. Asami brushed her long hair behind her ear before leaning down. She couldn't help but smile when she noticed the darker girl stiffen as her lips barely touched her ear. "Bolin agreed to help me find out who I've been in contact with."

Asami frowned when Kuvira suddenly jumped in her seat. Korra leaned over and thumped her twice on the back. Kuvira's cheeks puffed up before she spat out the chewed bits of her sandwich. She breathed deeply, exchanging a panicked look with Korra before taking a big gulp of water.

"Are you okay?" Asami asked.

"Fine," she rasped.

Korra jumped up when the alarm on her cell phone went off. "Look at that," she said, showing everyone the bright screen. "I have to go. I'll see you guys later." Korra tossed her plates and trash onto her tray before pushing her chair in.

_Hurry, do something before she leaves. Find a reason to get her to stay. Oh wait, you're meeting up with her tonight, remember? Make sure she doesn't forget._ "Are we still studying tonight, Korra?" Asami asked. "I made a new playlist to help us focus." _Not to self, create a new music playlist before tonight._

"Sounds great." _That smile is so forced._ "I'll see you guys later." Korra gave them a small wave before turning on her heel and speed walking towards the exit, dumping her tray onto the conveyer belt that led into the kitchen on the way out.

_Geez, Asami, why did you scare her off like that?_

Asami frowned as she watched Korra rush out of the cafeteria. She looked over at Kuvira, who stared back at her silently with an eyebrow raised. After rolling her eyes and giving her a quick wave, Asami turned on her heel before walking out of the opposite end of the cafeteria.

Bolin looked up from a video game as she exited the room. He quickly pocketed the hand held device as she strode over to him. "So, when did you want to get started on finding your mystery match?" he asked excitedly. "I may not be into police work like Mako, but I can tell when something is a foot."

"There is no mystery, Bolin," Asami admitted gently. She sent him an apologetic smile. "I didn't think it would end up like this."

"What do you mean?"

"I know who the person is that is sending me the notes." She took a seat on a nearby bench and smoothed out her skit with her hands. Bolin took a seat next to her. "I thought if I told them that I found someone who would help me uncover their identity, it would help them tell me."

Bolin nodded, a look of concentration set upon his features. "I…have no idea what you just said," he admitted after a few seconds.

"Korra is the one sending me the notes." Asami laughed when Bolin let out a huge gasp in surprise. "I was hoping I could bait her into telling me, but as you can see, it didn't work."

"Wait," he instructed. "She doesn't know that you know, but she knows that she likes you, and you know that she likes you and you know that you like her, but the both of you don't know?" he asked.

"Now _I'm_ confused."

"You know she's sending the notes, but you aren't saying anything." Bolin moved his hands as if each hand was a scale. "Korra is sending the notes but won't tell you," he concluded. Once Asami nodded in confirmation, he grabbed her by the wrist and pulled until she was on her feet. "Why haven't you told her that you know? Hurry, it's not too late to catch her."

Asami dug her heels into the floor and tense up her right arm. Bolin jerked to a stop before releasing his grip.

"Because I want her to tell me," Asami insisted.

"Well, if you don't need my help…" Bolin trailed off with a shrug. She could tell he was over exaggerating his disappointment by slumping his shoulders. He let out a loud, and long, sigh before shuffling over to the cafeteria doors.

"No, actually, I could still use it." She placed a hand on his elbow and turned him around before playfully running her hands through his hair. "How would you like to be my assistant?"

"Assistant?" he repeated. "For what?"

"For tricking Korra out of her hole?" Asami said with a mischievous grin. "Instead of paying you, how about I help you purchase some new clothes for the auditions you go on?" she suggested.

"You've got yourself a deal," Bolin cried. He placed an arm around her shoulders before steering her towards the cafeteria doors. "How about, though, you pay for my lunch today? A growing boy's got to eat." Asami laughed before placing an arm around his waist as the two headed inside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I worried that I made Asami a little too OOC. I'm not too sure. What did you all think? Also, if you read any of my other LOK/Korrasami fics, I got rid of my schedule and will now be updating all of my fics sporadically. It's just easier to update when i can and less stressful to, in a way, force a chapter out by a timeframe I had given myself.
> 
> knocking-down-hesitation.tumblr.com


	3. Chapter 3

Korra stormed into Kuvira’s dorm room, marched up to her friend, and tossed her sports bag to the ground before letting out a loud groan of frustration and collapsing onto a nearby beanbag chair. Kuvira looked up from the historical text she was reading with a raised eyebrow. She peered over at the darker girl before rolling her eyes and returning to the book.

“A little melodramatic, aren’t we?” she asked.

Korra sat up and glared. “I’m _not_ being melodramatic. This whole thing, sucks!”

“I get the feeling I won’t be finishing this for a while,” Kuvira muttered. She marked the page in her text before closing the book with a loud snap. She swung her legs over the side of her bed and jumped down before crossing the room and shutting the door. She then walked back over to the side of her bed, and took a seat at the desk underneath.

Kuvira had converted her bunk bed into a riser so that she was able to use the space underneath to place a desk. This cleared up more floor space in the room, which she in turn used to create a sitting area with various pillows and chairs. Korra often commented, and joked, that she didn’t have enough friends to fill up the space in the single room dorm. It worked out for the both of them since Korra quickly made it ‘her’ area whenever she slept over or needed a venting session about ‘Lettergate’ – something she came up with – and Kuvira knew that with things covering her floor, its something she wouldn't have to worry about cleaning.

“Thanks for bruising my leg, by the way,” Kuvira said over her shoulder as she booted up her laptop. “It wouldn’t surprise me if people in my gym class begin to think Baatar did it.”

“Would that _really_ be a bad thing?” Korra asked with a half-smile. Kuvira rolled her eyes before turning around in her office chair. She crossed her arms over her chest and one leg over the other. The darker girl mimicked her pose before sticking out her tongue. 

“If they think its abuse, then yeah,” Kuvira answered.

“Please,” Korra scoffed, “college people have some of the dirtiest minds in the world. They’ll be thinking of something else.” She ran a hand through her hair before turning back to face her laptop. Once she typed in her log-in and password, she picked it up and made her way over to where Korra was sitting before collapsing onto a pile of pillows. “Now, can we get back to my problem, please?”

“There wouldn’t be a problem if you just told her like I suggested,” Kuvira reminded her. “But go ahead.”

“Why did she have to get Bolin involved?” Korra moaned. “He has such a big mouth. Maybe bigger than mine and that’s saying something.”

Kuvira hummed in response. She pulled a wireless mouse of her pocket, stuck the usb into the port on the side of her computer, and started to move the mouse around on her thigh, rapidly clicking. “So, you and I both know that you’re behind these notes,” she started.

Korra held up a finger. “If you want to be technical, I’m the brains and you’re the scribe, so you’re behind the notes.”

“If you were the brains you wouldn’t need a scribe,” she snapped.

“Fair point.”

Kuvira smiled in response. Korra rolled her eyes and before slipping off her shoes. She peeled her socks off and bundled them up before throwing them over towards her friend. Kuvira shielded herself with her laptop and let out a cry of disgust as they landed by her feet. She used her big toe to kick them away. It was known that Korra’s feet smelled awful, when they did smell, and the darker girl would use it to her advantage whenever she wanted to mess with her friend or get her to do things for her. “She doesn’t know that it’s you, and has now brought in outside help,” Kuvira said. She clicked her mouse one more time before turning her laptop around so that Korra could read the screen. “I created a diagram to help solve this.”

Korra sat up, her blue eyes wide with excitement. She pursed her lips as Kuvira bust out laughing. “That’s not a diagram, that’s a picture of a skull and crossbones.”

“Which stands for this whole thing blowing up in our faces if we don’t fix it,” she chuckled. “Maybe we can just lead her off the trail.” 

“Well, I don’t have to meet her to study for another hour or so,” Korra said while glancing at her watch. She looked up to see Kuvira staring at her with an annoyed expression. “Hey, do you know how many times I’ve had to stay up on my phone hours into the night listening to you complain about your breakups with Baatar just to get back together with him in the next few days?”

Kuvira deflated a bit. “They weren’t breakups, just arguments,” she insisted quietly. The two sat in silence, just starting at each other. “Which we wouldn’t be in if he would just admit that I’m right,” she added.

“All the time?” Korra raised an eyebrow.

“Yes, all the time, just like in this situation.”

Korra couldn’t help but chuckle at her words. Kuvira closed her laptop and moved to sit next to her friend on the giant beanbag chair. She placed her hands behind her head and stared up at the ceiling of her room. “What if you just stopped hanging out with her?” she suggested.

“She’s my best friend,” Korra immediately answered. “After you, _of course,_ ” she said sarcastically, adding in an eye roll. Kuvira laughed before nudging the darker girl with her knee.

“What if you stop sending messages? Block her on IM?”

“Out of the blue? Then that’d be weird.”

“Well, what do you propose we do Avatar157?” Kuvira demanded. “I’m the only one coming up with ideas, like usual.”

“Shhhh, not so loud,” Korra hissed. Kuvira shrugged before miming that she was sewing her lips shut. She turned onto her side and faced her friend. Korra continued to look up at the ceiling, her blue eyes dark with sadness. “I started writing the messages and IMs to her after her dad died. I thought it would be a good way to show that someone cared without getting too involved. To show her someone was looking out for her,” she admitted with a heavy sigh. “I was too busy at the time with…” her words trailed off as she swallowed hard.

“…With your leave,” Kuvira supplied.

“Right, with ‘my leave’,” Korra repeated, using her fingers to make air quotes, “that I didn’t want her to feel like she was alone during those dark times. So I decided to just send her a messages to help.”

“Weren’t you going to tell her after the first few weeks?”

“Yes, I was, but then I started to see her differently and she was just so happy whenever she would get a new message that I couldn’t stop.” A light flush rose on the darker girl’s cheeks. Korra quickly turned away and rubbed at her face, acting as if she had an itch, before returning to her original position. ”The deeper we got in our conversations, the more scared I became. The more I worried about what would happen if she found out.” Korra turned on her side to face Kuvira. “That’s why I pay you to help me come up with things to say so I don’t sound like a dork, at least during out lighter talks.” She buried her face in the crook of her arm. “Now, I’m in trouble.”

“You think?” Kuvira snorted. When Korra didn’t respond, she muttered a quiet apology. Kuvira jumped when Korra quickly sat up. The darker girl turned to look down at her friend, a serious look set upon her face.”

“Kuvira, if Baatar Jr took away the one thing that was important in your life, would you forgive him?” she asked.

Kuvira’s eyebrows rose as she pondered the question. After a few moments she sat up and planted her feet on the ground. She then rested her elbows on her knees. “…I don’t know,” she admitted quietly. 

“That’s why I can’t tell her I’m writing these messages,” Korra explained. “I would have to tell her the truth, about everything, and she’ll never want to speak to me again. I can’t lose her friendship.” Her blue eyes started to glisten as tears began to form at the edge of her eyelashes. “I can’t have her out of my life.”

\---

_“Korra, when are you coming back?” Asami asked, dabbing a tissue against her cheek. She looked into the mirror and stared at her reflection. Her green eyes had turned a dull shade, her eyes and nose had turned a light red. Her eyelids were swollen and tear trails marked her cheeks._

_“I don’t know, yet,” Korra answered quietly. “But I’ll let you know as soon as I find out. Try to hang in there.” Asami heard another voice in the background of her phone call. She pressed her cellphone in between her shoulder and her ear as she used a wash cloth to wipe away the makeup from around her eyes. “I’ll call you later,” Korra said once she returned._

_“When?” Asami’s grip tightened on the phone. She exited her bathroom and entered her dorm room, slowly pacing. Her breathing started to shake a bit, as she waited for a response. “It’s just good to hear from you, and I miss seeing you every day.”_

_“I don’t know when I’ll be able to call again,” Korra admitted quietly. “It might not be for a while. I’ll continue to think about you and pray for you though.”_

_Asami forced herself not to roll her eyes at her friend’s words. She wasn’t a religious our spiritual person, and didn’t understand how prayer would help her situation, but she accepted the idea anyway. It meant that her friend would continue to think about her, which is something that helped her through the day. “Okay. Thank you, Korra.” Asami pulled her phone from in between her ear and shoulder, and gripped it tightly. “I miss you. Get better soon.”_

_“I miss you too, Asami,” Korra answered. “Bye.”_

_Asami slowly hung up the phone before tossing it onto her desk. She threw herself onto her bed and buried her face into her pillow, letting her tears fall freely. After a few moments of sitting in silence she heard the familiar bell chime, emitting from her computer, indicating she had a new chat message._

_The engineer forced herself up off of her bed and walked over to the other side of the room where her laptop sat on the floor, charging underneath the window. She had invented a solar powered battery pack and was testing it out. It wasn’t going to be released through Future Industries for another few months. She rubbed her burning eyes as she sat down in front of the laptop, moving the mouse to rid the screen of its screensaver._

_“Avatar157?” she muttered. Asami had been told many times by many different people that it was dangerous to talk to people online or accept requests from people she didn’t know. It was even brought up during orientation in her freshmen year at university. The school drill in the idea that everyone online, hiding behind a computer screen, wasn’t something to be trusted._

_Asami found this not to be true when she had first searched for an engineering group in the city. She had made some great friends though them, even though they only communicate online. Although, now, she didn’t talk to them as much anymore since she became busy with school work, but it was good to know that there were some people to talk to who had similar interests. She didn’t have many friends at university who understood her choice to double major in mechanical engineering and physics._

_Before doing anything else, Asami quickly opened a new chat window and messaged a few of her past friends. Continuing to dab at the tears on her face, she asked the other members a few questions, just to see what they’ve been up to and to see how they were doing, before bringing up Avatar157. Their responses came in rapid succession, explaining that they were recently new to the group in the past few days, but seemed to be very nice and knew a lot about engineering and technology. In short, the person, who was quickly discovered to be a she, was someone great to talk to and very informative._

_“It wouldn’t hurt to read the message,” Asami said. She took a deep breath before clicking the READ button._

SatoCEO,  
This message may seem weird, and I apologize if I make you uncomfortable. Apparently, I joined this group after the recent passing of your father. I had heard so many great things about you from the other members of the group, that I was looking forward to talking to you, but I understand your position.

A person that departs from this earth never truly leaves, for they are still alive in our hearts and minds, through us, they live on. Please accept my/our condolences, he will not be forgotten.

I know we’ve never talked until now, with this message, but if you want to talk about anything. I’m here. I’m willing to listen.

Take care,  
Avatar157

_She dragged her mouse over to the accept button and clicked it without a second though. Her fingers were poised over her keyboard, ready to type out a message, but the words wouldn’t come to her. She continued to stare at her blinking cursor, willing words to flow._

_A second later, a new chat window message popped up on the screen. Asami clicked on it, and quickly scanned the message:_

_**Avatar157:** -2:26pm- Hi, I’m Avatar157. How are you doing today?_

_She bit her bottom lip as she read the message over and over again. A part of her, a huge part of her, just wanted to unleash everything she’s been feeling for the past few days. And yet, she had just met the user, well figuratively. Even though she did say she would be there to listen, how much could she say before scaring her off?_

_Asami quickly typed out a response and hit ENTER._

_**SatoCEO:** -2:29 pm- Hi, I’m doing fine. Just moving through, one day at a time._

_**Avatar157:** -2:29 pm- How are you really doing?_

_**SatoCEO:** -2:30 pm- I feel like I’m empty inside…._

_With that message, Asami continued to type out her feelings, emotions, and frustrations, well into the night. Like promise, Avatar157 listened and offered advice, after asking for permission. Time flew by, and before she knew it, Asami found that she had spent four hours talking to Avatar157. Her stomach growled loudly, something which she had ignored for the past few days since she didn’t have much of an appetite._

_**SatoCEO:** -6:45 pm- I’m getting kind of hungry so I’m going to log off now._

_**Avatar157:** -6:45 pm- I hope I was of some help. I’ll be one tomorrow around nine at night if you’d like to talk some more. Take care_

_Asami got up from her seat on the floor and grabbed her dorm key and her ID before heading towards the door. She paused for the briefest of moments, her hand on the doorknob, shaking. The sound of a door closing indicated that Avatar157 had logged off of her computer. As she turned to look back at her computer screen, Asami felt her face muscles move into a position she hadn’t recognized in the past few days._

_She smiled._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> knocking-down-hesitation.tumblr.com


	4. Chapter 4

**_It’s hard to believe that someone can be here one minute and then be gone the next. I wish I had a chance to say goodbye to my father. I know we didn’t agree on a lot of things, but he was the only family I had left. – SatoCEO_ **

Korra took a deep breath before reaching out a shaking hand and knocking on the door. She looked up and down the hallway before staring at the door decoration that covered Asami’s door. The Future Industries logo was sitting in the middle of the door, two gears nestled on either side of the peephole.

She never understood why Asami opted for a room in one of the dorms instead of grabbing an apartment when she became a senior. The engineer stated that she didn’t really want to live by herself anymore, as per her father’s request, and wanted to become more immersed with the college life. However, Korra noticed, she only had one decoration on her door while the other doors in the hallway were filled with symbols, logos, and even photographs of friends.

“Hey, it’s about time you showed up,” Asami greeted brightly when she opened the door. Korra tried very hard not to stare as she entered the room. Dressed in a long sleeved shirt and a pair of shorts, the ivory girl looked much more comfortable and dressed down than she had ever seen her. Even when going out for a quick trip to grab a midnight snack, Asami always found a way to dress nicely without even trying, and turn heads of everyone in the vicinity while Korra usually stuck with sweats, as per her outfit at the moment.

“Sorry, I got sidetracked on my way over here,” Korra answered as lightly as she could. She dropped her sports bag by the door before lowering herself to the ground. After letting out a light sigh, she dragged the bag over to her by her foot. Without wasting a second, she unzipped it and dug out her textbooks.

“You don’t have to sit on the floor, you know,” Asami commented from up on her bed. She had moved her pillows from the head of the bed to rest up against the wall. She was sitting cross legged, a small round pillow in her lap with an engineering text on top. The lamp that was sitting on her nightstand was pointed in her direction, bouncing light off of the wall.

“I know,” Korra answered, digging her nose deeper into her book. It was one thing to have been staring when she had first entered the room, but with a light shining directly on her, the dark girl knew that she wouldn’t be able to tear her eyes away from her beauty. “I’m just more comfortable down here.”

“But today is Tuesday, so you must have had swim team practice.” Asami slipped off of her bed. She crossed the room and flicked off the overhead lights. The engineer had always preferred to study on her bed with the small lamp on her table. She had explained that the dim lighting gave her less distractions from all of the other items in her room. Up until this point, Korra had no issues with her quirk, but now, her heart was racing. “Come on, your muscles will be screaming in about an hour. There’s plenty of room up here.” Asami plucked the textbook out of Korra’s hands before pulling the shorter girl to her feet and tugging her over to the bed. “You can use my bed rest pillow.”

Korra climbed up onto the bed and received the pillow with a soft smile. She lined it up on the wall next to Asami’s place before cracking open her book. While she tried as hard as she could to focus on the words in her book, she couldn’t help but notice the body heat radiating from the girl next to her. It enveloped Korra like a warm blanket. Every slight shift caused a puff of perfume to fill the air. The darker girl found the smell intoxicating, silently enjoying the fact that it’ll stick to her clothes before she had to wash them.

Asami pulled out her cellphone and opened the music app. She pressed play before slipping it into the empty mug sitting on her bedside table, instantly amplifying the sound. Korra’s eyes traced the sliver of pale skin that appeared as the bottom of her shirt rode up a bit. She instantly turned back to her book, forcing herself to read a passage for the fourth time, but to fully comprehend the words. She froze for the smallest of seconds when Asami snuggled into her side, leaning her head on her shoulder.

The two would often cuddle while studying for various classes. It was something that just became second nature to them. While, the first time it occurred, it was a few months after Asami’s father’s passing and when Korra returned from her leave. While studying, the raven haired girl ended up breaking down in sobs and Korra comforted her well into the night. The next few study sessions afterwards involved a break down, in some way or the other, with the darker girl always being there to hold her friend if and when she asked. Pretty soon, they just found themselves naturally in each other’s embrace.

“You know, I have something I need to tell you,” Asami said after about an hour of studying. She reached up and pulled her hair out of its ponytail, letting it fall down her back. Korra watched the slow movement of her dark hair, relishing in the strong fruit smell of her shampoo, before shifting her focus.

“What? You know you can tell me anything.”

“I know.” Asami smiled. She moved her hand from her book and dropped it onto the bed. Her pinkie brushing against Korra’s hand. The darker girl instantly felt a flare of heat rushing up the back of her neck. She nonchalantly moved her hand so that she could turn the page in her book. “I feel so safe around you. The truth is, studying wasn’t the only reason I asked you here.”

_Oh spirits, she knows!_

The ivory girl bit her bottom lip. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before exhaling slowly. “I wanted to ask you again for your help in finding the person behind my notes,” she rushed.

It took a second for Korra to understand what she had just said. “Asami,” she said gently, “we went over this-”

Korra jumped in surprise as the engineer tossed her textbooks to the side. She slowly slid off the bed and backed away as the raven haired girl advanced, her wide green eyes pleading gently. Korra soon found herself literally backed into a corner. She would have found the situation ironic, if it weren't the matter of her best friend potentially finding out her secret.

“Bolin just hasn’t really been helpful,” Asami explained. She clasped her hands together. “He was too busy gushing and raving over the messages than decoding them. Will you please help me, Korra? _Please?_ ”

Korra couldn’t help but smile, given the fact that she was still somewhat cowering in a corner. “Are you begging?” she asked with amusement.

Asami instantly straightened up. She flipped her hair over her shoulder and placed a hand on her hip. Korra’s smile widened. If there was one thing Asami was known for, aside from being the youngest CEO of a company in Republic City history, it was that she was always calm and composed, except for that recent moment. The engineer must have gathered her wits about her, because she cleared her throat and shrugged coolly. “More like intensely asking,” she corrected.

_Why does she want my help in finding Avatar157? Why can’t she let it go? She must really be in love with them, which only makes things worse. I should turn her down. I can’t do that, I’m her best friend, she’ll be crushed. Once she sets her mind on something it’ll be hard to change it. Wait a second, Korra. This is what you were just talking about with Kuvira. This is a way to throw her off the trail. You can help her all you want, but you can lead her to a dead end. You can make it so that Avatar157 can’t and won’t ever be found. So what’s stopping you? Nothing. Then say something to her, you dummy. Stop staring._

“Okay,” Korra finally said, squeezing her eyes tightly shut. “I’ll help!”

“That’d be great!” Asami cried. “You’re the best!” She instantly pulled the shorter girl into a tight hug. Before Korra could relax in her warmth, the engineer was across the room in a flash, digging around in her closet. Korra slowly walked back over to the bed and reclaimed her seat, mentally cursing herself out. “I think we should start with the more recent ones and go backwards,” she explained before plopping down next to her. In her hands was an old shoebox, big enough to fit a pair of boots

The raven haired girl opened the lid of the box before reaching inside and removing its contents. Korra’s eyes widened when she looked at the large stack of handwritten notes and IM conversations printed out. Many of the notes were wrinkled and had tears, indicating that Asami had read them numerous times.

Korra swallowed hard. She picked up one of the stacks of papers, gasping at how heavy it was, before rapidly flipping through them. “You kept all of them?” she asked quietly. 

Her voice carried a tone of astonishment. She stared at every message, every letter until her vision blurred. She caught her breath, a feeling of warmth washed over her as she felt a rush of different emotions. Korra wasn’t sure if she should cry, laugh, or just kiss the girl. Of course, the latter was out of the question, but that didn’t stop her from thinking about it. 

She instantly felt heat rising up in her cheeks at the thought. Korra muttered something about the temperature of the room, before fanning herself when the raven haired girl gave her a look of confusion.

“Of course,” Asami said quietly. She ducked her head as she tucked a stray piece of her hair behind her ear. A light flush crossed her cheeks and the bridge of her nose. “This person means a lot to me.” She lifted her head and smiled softly. Korra was entranced by her strong gaze. There was something deep in her eyes, something intense that made the pit of her stomach churn, but in a welcoming way. “We have a connection.” Asami leaned forward and pressed her hand on top of Korra’s, lightly rubbing it with her palm. “Kind of like you and me.”

\---

“You did _what?_ ” Kuvira shouted. Korra leaned over and pressed her hand firmly on the girl’s lips, silencing her. The two were in the campus’ science building in one of the labs. Kuvira was at a work bench, evaluating her handwriting in her notebook, going over instructions for a project due at the end of the semester. Before Korra had barged into the room, she was peering through a microscope at a slide with plant extraction. Kuvira usually orders the dark girl to sit across from her, two work benches away the minute she enters the room. Due to a past incident involving a broken beaker, and the evacuation of the building, whenever Korra would visit her in the lab she had to keep a safe distance. This time however, Kuvira didn’t have a chance to reiterate her usual orders, because Korra rushed up to her and instantly relayed everything that had happened the prior night.

“I agreed to help her,” Korra answered. She pulled out a stool from underneath the workbench before plopping down onto it. 

“Why?” Kuvira slipped off the white lab coat she was wearing before pulling up a stool next to Korra. “I thought the goal was to lead her off the trail.”

“It is,” she insisted. “I’m going to help her by leading her in the wrong direction. This way Avatar157 won’t ever be found.”

Kuvira exhaled slowly through her nose. She peeled the goggles off of her head and had them hang around her neck. “Are you sure? It means that you’ll have to spend more time with her.”

“I know, but we’re best friends.” Korra folded her arms on the table, resting her chin on the back of her hand. “I’ve been able to pull this off for years. I just have to wait until she graduates and everything will be in the clear.”

“But it won’t be, because you won’t get the chance to be with her.”

“I ruined any chance to be with her that night.”

Kuvira chewed on her bottom lip. She folded her hands onto the work bench, before leaning over and lightly nudging the darker girl with her shoulder. “You can’t keep blaming yourself for that,” she said quietly.

Korra looked sadly at her, her posture wilting. “It’s my fault she went through all of that pain.” Her voice cracked. She swallowed around the lump that was rising in her throat. “You didn’t see the hurt in her eyes when she told me her father had passed.” Kuvira nodded but remained silent. “I so desperately wanted to be there to comfort her, but I couldn’t. So I’m making up for it now.”

“If that’s what you think is best.”

“I do,” Korra said firmly, more to make herself believe her lie than to convince Kuvira.

\---

“Wait!” Bolin shouted, holding up a hand. Asami winced at the decibel level of his voice before taking a sip of her hot chocolate. The two of them were currently sitting in the Basement, the lower level of the school’s cafeteria. It entire was designed to look like a coffee house but also included games like pool, a few card tables, and a small arcade section in one of the corners. Of course, it had a café bar that was open 24/7 for the students who would need something to eat in the middle of the night and not want to go off campus. “When I suggested that you back her into a corner, I didn’t mean literally.”

“I know,” she groaned. “I got kind of carried away. I didn’t mean to scare her.”

“The bright side is, she agreed to help you find Avatar157,” he reminded her. Bolin held out his hand for her cup. Asami quickly drained the rest of her drink before passing it to him. He grabbed his trash from the nearby table before dumping it into a trashcan. 

The engineer got to her feet and followed Bolin up the stairs towards the cafeteria. “True, but we’re still going to have to ease into things.” Asami reached into her purse and pulled out her ipad. With a quick press of a button she pulled up the internet app and selected her bookmarks. “You know how skittish she gets. For someone with so much confidence, she can really be shy.”

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“Sending Avatar157 a message on IM,” she answered.

“Asami.” Bolin gently grabbed her by the elbow. She looked up from the ipad, her eyebrows scrunching together. “What if she doesn’t want to be found?” he asked quietly.

The engineer powered off her ipad before placing it back into her purse. She crossed her arms over her chest and regarded him with a sad smile. “I won’t accept that.” She removed Bolin’s grasp from her elbow and tightly held his hand. “Bolin, I love her. I’m in love with her, and I want to be with her.”

Bolin smiled warmly before embracing her in a tight hug. He pulled back and placed both of his hands on her shoulders. “Then let’s get your girl.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the first time I'm writing anything strictly romance, so I would appreciate it if you all would let me know what you think of the story so far, and how I'm portraying the romantic genre. Also, I worried that Asami was a little bit out of character when she was pleading for Korra's help. What did you all think?
> 
> knocking-down-hesiation.tumblr.com


	5. Chapter 5

  
**_I know today must be hard for you, with the anniversary of your father’s passing. If you would like some time for yourself, I understand. – Avatar 157_**

**_That is a good idea, but I don’t know if I want to be alone. You might think I’m crazy, but I feel so comfortable talking to you. I feel like we could be great friends if we ever met. I actually, I think we’d be closer. You feel like family to me. – SatoCEO_**

**_….Hey, are you still there? - SatoCEO_**

\------

“Korra!” a voice called out. She looked up from the textbook she was skimming to see Opal Beifong rushing towards her. She was seated at a table outside of the campus’ cafeteria, underneath a large red umbrella. The younger girl plopped into the empty seat opposite of her. “Are you coming to the party tonight?” she asked.

“What party?” she asked.

“The one Asami’s throwing.” Opal frowned. “I was sure you’d be the first person she’d tell.”

“Oh, my phones is turned off.” Korra reached into her pocket and pulled out her cell phone, pressing the power button. “Why is she throwing a party?”

“For Spirit Weekend. She thought it’d be better if we all partied in her dorm room than being out on the roads going to a party in the city.”

_I can imagine why._

Korra jumped as her cell phone lit up and vibrated wildly, indicating that she missed a few text messages. After reading the screen, she placed her phone back into her pocket. “I think I’ll pass.”

“Why?” she gasped. “It’s going to be a lot of fun. She said she’ll even let you invite Kuvira.”

The darker girl couldn’t help but laugh. Everyone knew that Asami and Kuvira were only civil with each other, at best, because of Korra. When together, the two would end up trying to see who was smarter than the other, often ending up in a tie. The last group gathering that Kuvira attended ended up with the two of them playing Monopoly until three in the morning, ending in a forfeit on both sides because of lack of sleep. “I just don’t feel up to a party. I’m surprised she’s throwing one, with the anniversary of her father’s passing.”

“She said she doesn’t want to be alone.” Opal shrugged.

“Well, I’ll talk to her later, but I’m not going to go.” Korra tucked her book underneath her arm before getting up from the table. “I hope you have fun, though.”

“But it’s Spirit Weekend!”

Spirit Weekend is the biggest party of the Fall semester. The streets of Republic City jump and thrive with the college crowd as the football team of RCU matches up against their rivals at Republic City State. Red, Black, and White streamers decorated each lamp post, balloons were attached to store fronts, banners were hung across archways, and the windows were painted with notes of encouragement for the sports teams.

After the game, whether or not RCU was victorious, everyone swarmed to the Sato Estate for the big after party. While Hiroshi Sato would graciously open his doors for the students, it was more to acquire business contracts with the parents and businessmen of the city. It wasn’t a secret, but the students liked a party, so wherever it was held they went.

The parties were also co-hosted by Asami, much to her chagrin. Status and popularity were very important to her father, while she just wanted to blend in and not brag about her wealth. But, there she was at every event, right by her father’s side, greeting everyone who entered her home. 

Three years before, Hiroshi made himself scarce because he was trying to land a lucrative business deal which would help advance Future Industries as well as the secure the new train station contract many in the city were fighting to obtain, as well as his rival Cabbage Corps. While they were known for their rapid construction time, their craftsmanship wasn’t as up to par as Future Industries, however the two companies were the top tier of business in Republic City, so whenever the opportunity arose, they battled it out.

While this was the one party he didn’t make himself visible, it was also the one that got out of hand, and very quickly. Asami was in over her head when kids from other universities arrived along with numerous kegs and various types of beers and spirits. Eventually, she threw caution to the wind, since her father was the one ultimately throwing the party.

Hiroshi and his daughter didn’t see eye to eye on a lot of things. He was actively working on training Asami so that she would take over the family business one day in the future. A girl who used to be engrossed with fashion design and cosmetics was now up to her elbows with math equations and scientific calculations. It wasn’t too much of a hassle for her since she did enjoy being an engineer and working with her hands, it was her father’s overall control of her life that she wasn’t fond of.

Eighteen-year-old Korra cheered loudly as Tahno finished performing a keg stand. She clapped loudly and slapped him on the back as he passed by. He smiled weakly in her direction, giving her a thumbs up. A split second later, his eyes widened as his face turned green. She backed up out of the way, and let out a loud laugh as she scurried off into the crowd.

She danced along to the music as she made her way over to the drink table. Picking up two plastic cups of red punch, she made her way back into the crowd. Taking a sip from the cup in her left hand, she couldn’t help but wince the warm burning sensation as the liquid slid down her throat. 

Bolin and Opal squeezed through a group of people, hand in hand. They brushed off their clothing before heading in Korra’s direction. She smiled brightly and waved them over.

“Hey, don’t drink the punch,” she shouted over the music. “Not unless you want to end up in a lot of trouble. Stick to bottled water.”

“We were actually about to head out,” Bolin answered.

“We didn’t know the party would be like this,” Opal added. “Tell Asami that we say thanks for inviting us. Maybe next year.” She shrugged.

“I don’t think Asami knew the party was going to be like this,” Korra explained. “But she seems to be having the time of her life.”

“It’s probably because her dad isn’t here.” Bolin gave Korra a one-armed hug. “See you later!” before leading Opal out of the estate. The dark girl shrugged before making her way back into the group of people. She paused when she noticed Kuvira dancing to the sultry beat of the music in the center of a large crowd; her long braid whipping around in the air. Korra wolf-whistled loudly, winking when she caught Kuvira’s eye. Her best friend smirked in response before squatting low o the floor and speed thrusting her hips.

“Hey Asami, I got you a drink,” Korra called out as she entered the kitchen. She frowned when she spotted the empty room. “Asami?” She exited the room and headed down the hallway towards the bathrooms. As she passed by the entry way to the foyer, she glanced at the staircase leading up the second floor. Korra paused when she noticed the back of Asami’s head from the side view of the staircase. She hummed to herself, walking along side the staircase, towards her friend. The minute she turned by the banister, she paused, the drinks in her hands sloshed over the edges of the cups. Her jaw slowly dropped. 

Mako pressed his lips to Asami’s in a searing kiss, running his hand though her hair. The raven-haired girl sat there, with her eyes closed, her lips pursed. Korra felt her stomach sink as dread rushed through her veins. She slowly backed away from the stairs, rushing away

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Kuvira asked, grabbing Korra by the shoulders to help her regain her balance.

Without answering, Korra pointed over her shoulder. Kuvira looked and visibly tensed up when she spotted Mako and Asami on the stairs. “I’m sorry, Korra. I know how much you like him.”

_Why couldn’t that be me? Am I really just a friend? Will I only ever be just a friend?_

“It’s okay,” Korra muttered. She poured the rest of the punch from the two cups into one before tipping her head back and downing the liquid in one gulp. She forced a smile before licking her lips. A party-goer walked by carrying a large pitcher of punch. Kuvira watched with raised eyebrows as Korra snatched it out of his hand and started to drink the beverage straight out of the container.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine,” Korra said after downing half the pitcher. She let out a loud belch before placing it onto a nearby table. “Come on, let’s go and dance.”

“Korra, just go home,” Kuvira suggested. She grabbed the darker girl by her arm, dragging her out of the foyer and over to the nearby coast closet. Kuvira reached in and grabbed both of their coats. “Don’t do this to yourself.” She reached into the darker girl’s pocket and pulled out her key ring. “I’ll drive you.”

A large group of people entered the foyer, tossing a football back and forth around a giant circle. “No, you stay,” she muttered, reaching up and rubbing at her forehead with the palm of her hand. “Baatar Jr made the winning touchdown, so you should be by his side.” Snatching the keys out of her friend’s hand, she waved them in the air, tauntingly. “I’m not drunk. I can drive myself.”

“Text me when you get back,” Kuvira ordered. Korra nodded, waving a hand in the air. The dancer placed a hand on her friend’s shoulder before giving it a light squeeze. “I’ll catch a ride with Baatar. Be careful.”

“I will,” Korra answered with a half-smile. She punched Kuvira on the arm before forcing herself past the throngs of people. She winced as she was elbowed, kicked, and stumbled in to. Passing the loud music system, she covered her ears, wincing in pain. A harsh block to her back caused her to stumble, dropping her keys. 

She watched as they were kicked around the floor, sliding in puddles of spilled drinks and melting ice, before disappearing in a large group. Korra elbowed back, twice as hard, as she pushed through the crowd. Ignoring the shouts of pain and annoyance, she finally spotted her keys underneath someone’s foot. Sending a swift punch to the back of their leg, she laughed in triumph as she gripped her keys. Standing up, Korra was facing the staircase.

_Oh, no!_

Mako and Asami were seated on the stairs by the front door, talking quietly. He leaned in close, whispering something onto her ear. She giggled into her palm, before resting her head on his shoulder, smiling gently. Mako placed an arm around her shoulders, hugging her from the side.

Korra’s stomach lurched as fury circulated around her body. Her chest tightened, the tips of her fingers went numb, and her pulse began to roar loudly in her ears. The churning in her stomach turned to a fluttering as she watched Mako press a kiss to Asami’s temple. The tightening in her chest loosened, but quickly turned to pain. 

“Korra.” She knew that voice light voice. The one laced with worry and compassion. Soon she smelled the familiar scent of burning leaves and sunburst flowers. The pain in her chest lurched, causing Korra to clasp a head to her breast bone. A tear slid down her cheek, followed soon by a shower. Her nose began to burn, and a hard lump rose in her throat. “Korra, wait.”

“I have to go,” Korra muttered without turning around. “I’ll talk to you later.” She bolted towards the door, the thumping of the bass and Asami’s shouts fading as she exited the estate. Korra ran all of the way down to the large garage; cars were pilled inside the connecting building as well as lined up in the driveway. Korra silently thanked Kuvira for taking a long time in getting dressed. While it caused them to arrive at the party late, their car was one of the few at the end of the long line.

She quickly climbed inside and started the ignition. Moving the gear into revere, she backed up the car before swinging the steering wheel to the right, causing the car to swerve around. The tires squealed loudly as the front end swung around, positioning the car to face down the driveway. Korra shifted the car into drive, pressed her foot on the gas pedal, and took off down the hill. 

_Don’t look back. Just keep driving. Focus on the road._

Going against her better judgement, Korra glanced in the rear-view mirror and spotted Asami walking back into the estate, her shoulders hunched over, her head hung a bit low. Korra slapped the steering wheel with one hand, before pressing down more firmly on the gas pedal. The engine roared before the car lurched forward. Without checking, she pulled out into the street, narrowly avoiding an oncoming car on her right.

“Fuck you!” she shouted, as the other driver laid their hand on the horn. Korra wiped away the tears from her eyes, wincing as her temples began to throb. She tightly gripped the steering wheel, her jaw clenched hard. She breathed deeply, trying to calm herself and stop the tears from falling. The pain in her chest gradually faded, but she was soon filled with rage. Her hands began to shake; a deep frown was set upon her face.

The traffic light at the end of the street turned yellow. Korra grunted before pushing down harder on the gas pedal. The light turned red, although to her it looked orange, as she sped through the intersection. A bright flash lit up the sky.

“Damn it,” she groaned. The colors from the street lamps, stores, and shrubbery bled out into a straight line the faster she went. The car started to shake, imitating the rage pulsing through her core. The harsh wind whistled as she zipped down the streets, her body rocking back and forth.

Korra felt a wave of fear flow through her stomach as she came upon a sharp turn. Glancing down at the speedometer, Korra’s eyes widened when she read the marking: 105 mph. Looking back up at the road, she squinted hard, peering at the yellow sign with a number and a right curved arrow: 55 mph.

“Shit,” she cursed. Korra slammed onto the breaks, sitting up straighter in her seat as the road started to curve. She turned the wheel, wincing as a loud squeal was emitted from her tires. The back end of her car swung around the curve, sending her vehicle in the left hand lane. Up ahead, she spotted two gold balls of light heading her direction.

“Shit!” Korra shouted. Before she could move the steering wheel, slip on her seat belt, or take a breath, a loud crunch filled her ears. Glass shattered around her. Korra grunted as she was propelled forward, her head smacking against the steering wheel. Pain throbbed in every inch of her body as she was thrown around. Her vision swam, colors slowly draining as darkness started to seep into her line of sight. The last thing she saw was the look of horror on Hirshoi Sato’s face as her vision tunneled into nothingness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You all wanted to know why Korra can't tell Asami that she is in love with her, and that was it. Actually, this chapter brings up another twist to this whole plot. I wonder if you all found it, although it was kind of ambiguous. :)
> 
> Also, just a heads up, I update the tags to my stories a lot so i suggest you scan them often in case I change them with the direction my stories end up going. :)
> 
> Please let me know what you think. :) [knocking-down-hesitation.tumblr.com](http://knocking-down-hesitation.tumblr.com)


	6. Chapter 6

**_I want to get to know you better – Avatar157_ **

**_I’m no one worth getting to know - SatoCEO_ **

**_I’m sure that’s not true. We can just ask each other simple questions, like what’s your favorite ice cream? I don’t know. I just thought it’d make talking to each other easier. – Avatar157_ **

**_…Strawberry Cheesecake. No matter how bad my day is, it always makes me feel better. – SatoCEO_ **

It was around ten at night when Korra jumped into the pool, slowly sinking below the surface. She kept her eyes closed tightly, enjoying the muffled sound of the outside world as the bubbles tickled her ears. Her long hair billowed up around her, floating gently along the ripples. She opened her eyes, ignoring the stinging from the chemicals in the pool. Pressing her feet against the side, she pushed off hard and began to move forward.

While she was the captain of the swim team, she mainly enjoyed swimming late at night; no one would be in the sports complex this late so she had time to herself. It helped clear her head since she wasn’t caught up in improving her time or racing against someone else. Korra could spend hours, floating across the surface. There was one time she had stayed at the pool until three in the morning.

A few hours later, Korra pulled herself out of the pool. She let the water drip off of her body before walking over to the towel she discarded. Brushing her bangs out of her face she held her phone high up into the air, to keep it from getting wet, as she checked her text messages.

She had missed a few from Kuvira and one from Asami. Her stomach clenched as she stared at the frown faced emoticon sitting in her inbox. Korra knew that the engineer would be upset that she missed the party, given the circumstance and reason behind throwing the party, but she just couldn’t go. She wouldn’t have been able to laugh and celebrate with her friends while knowing she caused so much pain.

Wrapping a towel around her waist, she head towards the showers, pulling up the information to a Movie Rental store on her phone. 

\---

Asami sighed as she cleaned up the rest of the trash around her dorm room. The party had ended moments before and she was exhausted. She spent the entire time trying not to think about her father or his sudden passing and found it hard to keep up the charade. Opal had suggested that just end the party early, but the raven-haired girl insisted that it continued, especially when they started a round of Cards against Humanity. 

In between rounds she would continue to glance at her phone, waiting for a text from Korra or an instant message from Avatar157. She had become so obsessed with the electronic device that Mako had to hide it from her in the room. It then turned into a game of Hot and Cold, at her expense, but she did have a fun time regardless.

Collapsing onto her bed, she pulled her phone out of her pocket as it buzzed loudly. Glancing at the caller ID, she pulled her hair up into a bun before pressing the ANSWER and SPEAKER button.

“Hey,” she said dryly.

“You’re mad at me aren’t you?” Korra immediately asked. Asami never really hid her frustrations well. She always wound up being very sarcastic or speaking with an additional bite. Korra usually knew to stay far, far away from her friend when she began to snap at people. While Asami never meant it personally, she really knew how to hit someone in the jugular. 

The engineer frowned at her phone when she heard the sounds of a car horn in the background. A second later curse words flew out of her friend’s mouth. She couldn’t help but chuckle at the language Korra used. The few times Korra had a clean vocabulary was in the classroom, or attending a public event with her father, the Chief of the Southern Water Tribe.

“No, I’m just disappointed,” Asami answered before leaning back on her bed. She glanced at the clock sitting on her desk, the bright red numbers clear and easy to read. 12:15 am. She placed her phone onto her thigh, relaxing among the soft blankets and pillows.

“Not that word,” Korra groaned. A loud beeping sound emitted from her phone followed by a loud bang. A few seconds later she heard her friend whimpering in pain. “Anything but that word.”

“Korra, I’m being serious.”

“Me too!” she insisted, her voice echoing. The sounds of her footsteps were loud and covered her voice from time to time. Korra began to breathe heavily. “My parents really knew how to get to me as a kid with that word.”

Asami pursed her lips, before breathing deeply. She was never able to stay mad at Korra for too long. Something about the way the girl would smile or make a joke to try and lighten things always made her ill feelings fade. “…I just wish you were at the party, but I understand why you weren’t,” she answered. “It must have been a tough time for you too.”

“Hey, I’m fine,” Korra reassured her. “It’s you I worry about.”

“Now you do?” she couldn’t help but comment. She chuckled, making sure to let Korra know that she wasn’t being serious.

“Very funny,” Korra muttered. All of a sudden her voice was crisp and clear on the phone. Asami was about to comment on it when she heard a knock on her dorm door. Sitting up, she glanced at her clock, before peering over at her door. There was a brief pause before the knocking continued.

“Hang on, someone is at the door,” Asami sighed. She slipped off of her bed and walked over, turning off the speaker phone, cradling her cell phone in between her ear and her shoulder. Pulling the door open, she gasped, her jaw dropping in shock when Korra held out a boquet of flowers.

“I know,” Korra answered before pressing END on her phone.

“Kind of late isn’t it?” Asami questioned. She wanted to stay mad, she tried to stay mad, but the flowers in her hands made her heart melt. They were sun lilies, a moderately hard flower to find, they weren’t even in season. Sunlilies are Asami’s favorite type of flower. The first time she had seen it was in her parent’s wedding photos. She was instantly entranced by the vibrant orange and pinks painted on the petals.

“Yeah, but I thought you could use a pick me up.” Korra presented a gallon of Strawberry Cheesecake ice cream from behind her back as well as three movies. She watched sheepishly as Asami accepted each gift, her smile widening. 

“My favorite.” The engineer stepped to the side to let Korra into the room. The darker girl instantly took a seat on the floor, her back up against the side of Asami’s bed. “Thank you.” The engineer placed the flowers into a tall starbucks coffee mug, she didn’t own a vase, before scooping out the ice cream into two bowls. “You can pick the movie?”

“How about we work on these letters for a bit?” Korra asked with a shrug. 

_Yes!_ Asami used too much force and pushed a scoop of ice cream up out of the container. She flinched as it sailed over her shoulder, landing on the floor with a loud splat. Korra threw her head back in laughter as Asami felt her cheeks redden. _Calm down, Asami. You’re supposed to be smooth and confident._ She cleaned up the mess from the floor, sneaking a glance over at Korra who was checking her phone. Her blue eyes glowed brightly underneath the shine from the screen. Korra looked up from her phone and the two locked eyes. Her friend smiled when Asami quickly turned away, throwing away the paper towels and ice cream in her hands. 

Asami handed Korra her bowl of ice cream before heading over to her closet, grabbing the shoe box filled with the printed letters and hand written notes. Korra took the bowl out of her friend’s hand to make it easier for her to sit down. The engineer popped the lid of the box open and took out the notes. She flipped towards somewhere in the middle before handing the back half of the stack to Korra.

She had purposely given herself the most recent half of the stack because she wanted to re-read them. It always gave her a rush of happiness and excitement when she would scan the slanted handwriting or the fancy typed print for the words that made her fall in love. With Korra sitting next to her, she was able to read the words and have a face to match up with them.

“If you don’t like it, you don’t have to eat it,” Asami pointed out when Korra made a face after eating a mouthful of ice cream. “It’s an acquired taste.”

“It means you have no taste buds,” Korra commented. “At the risk of sounding like my mother, this is way too sweet.” With that being said, she took another big bite of her ice cream. “So what do we know so far?”

“Avatar157 has to attend school with us since I get handwritten messages,” she answered. “However, that still doesn’t really narrow it down. Over five hundred people attend RCU.”

“Well, looking at these old messages it seems like Avatar157 likes to go running, and judging by this note, they understand science.” Korra plucked a pen and a stray piece of paper off of Asami’s bedside table and began to make a list. 

“What makes you say that?” Asami wondered.

Korra waved the handwritten note in front of the engineer’s face. “They mention something… science-y,” Korra said while shrugging. Asami bit her bottom lip to keep herself from laughing. “Plus, they have handwriting you can barely read. Most people who have this handwriting are doctors and doctors study science,” she said proudly.

“A math equation doesn’t mean they’re majoring in science though,” she pointed out. Korra nodded before deflating. Asami ate a bit of her ice cream before glancing through the papers in her lap. While she was reading them at first, she soon pretended to scan them. She had memorized every letter by heart, and if asked, would probably be able to recite them, even as far back as the first few conversations the two had three years ago. 

“True, but you understand this stuff,” Korra said.

“I’m an engineer,” Asami reminded her.

“Doesn’t that use science?”

“Yeah, it uses physics, formulaic equations, hypothesis-”

“Stop,” Korra cried. She dropped the letters and notes before placing both of her hands onto the sides of her head. “You’re giving me a headache. It’s bad enough I have to take a science gen ed.” Asami reached out and grabbed a hold of Korra’s elbow, trying to pull her arm back down. She felt heavy resistance as the muscles underneath her hand rippled. Asami tried to fight the blush that was rising up on her cheeks as she slowly dropped her hands.

“Oh, they also like to work with children,” Korra pointed out. 

Asami groaned. “Well, that’s something we don’t have in common,” she muttered.

“Well, you’ve never really been around children too much, so you really wouldn’t know what to do with them,” her friend said, flipping through another note. “Although, I don’t blame you since that one time you watched your neighbor’s kid and he broke your music box that your mother gave you a year before she passed.”

“Korra,” Asami gasped, her eyes beginning to turn misty. The darker girl turned towards her in confusion. The engineer waved her hand, declining the offer to wipe her eyes on Korra’s arm. She sniffed and cleared her throat. “You remembered that?” she whispered.

“Yeah,” Korra chuckled. “I listen to you from time to time.”

“No, it’s just…” she ducked her head, tucking her dark hair behind her ear. _Stay calm, Sato._ “I told you that back during your freshmen year,” she admitted. Korra clicked her tongue twice before glancing at the paper in her hand. She cried out in shock when Asami hit her in the face with a pillow. “You can remember this but you can’t remember what PEMDAS stands for?” she laughed.

“Hey, I only remember things that are important,” Korra pointed out. She tossed the pillow back to the engineer before pointing directly at her face. “Besides, I get to see that.”

“What?” Asami asked. Her eyes widened as she raised a hand to her face. Touching every inch of skin, she walked over to the mirror hanging on the wall by the door. As she inspected her face, she didn’t notice that Korra had walked up behind her until she noticed her piercing blue eyes appeared over her shoulder.

“You’re smile,” Korra answered with a shrug. She reached up and poked Asami in the cheek, causing the engineer to smile once more. “You haven’t done that in the past few weeks.”

“You would have seen it tonight if you came,” Asami said to their reflections before playfully sticking out the tip of her tongue. The gesture wasn’t something she was used to doing. Being raised to be prim and proper, the crude gesture was something she wasn’t allowed to make. In rare cases did the engineer ever let loose and perform it, albeit it only the very tip of her tongue. Still, it made Korra laugh, but not as hard as when she heard Asami curse for the first time.

“Okay, fine. You win.” Korra took a few steps back, holding her hands up as if admitting defeat. “I’ll make it up to you,” she promised. The two made their way back to their spots on the floor, picking up the letters and starting to browse through from where they left off.

As the two continued to work on their separate piles, they made some light conversation about their classes and their extra-curricular. Asami was head of the robotics club as well as the fashion club. While she was busy, preparing to take over Future Industries upon graduation from the interim president, the two clubs helped relax and de-stress her. 

Soon they popped in a movie, Moulin Rouge, one of Asami’s favorites. While Korra wasn’t too fond of musicals, she often questioned why they sung things instead of saying it; she usually sat still long enough to watch half of it before falling asleep. The two had originally met in the movie club back in high school. They had such similar tastes in movies that they unofficially became “movie buddies” when they happened to attend premier nights of new films in Republic City. 

“Korra, thank you for tonight,” Asami muttered as she snuggled up into the darker girl’s side. The darker girl loudly cleared her throat before shifting away. The engineer bit her bottom lip before sitting up strait. _Smooth Asami. You’re trying to get closer to her, not scare her away._

“I’m sorry that I wasn’t there for you.” Korra pulled her knees up to her chest before wrapping her arms around them. Her blue eyes paled to a lighter shade, reflecting her discomfort. Asami bit the inside of her cheek before placing a hand on her friend’s arm.

“This isn’t just a hard time for me too,” the engineer said gently. “I’m sure you were thinking about your accident.” She felt Korra tense up beneath her tough. “You were in the hospital for such a long time. It’s okay to be selfish. I was just kidding before.”

“My hard time is different from yours. It was just physical, I can handle that.” Korra looked over at Asami before shrugging. “You lost the last part of your family. As a friend I should have supported you. I should have made sure you were okay.”

“Korra, you always check to make sure I’m okay. You make me feel special. That’s something I like about you,” Asami said, moving the pillow that she had placed behind her back. She fluffed it up a few times, placing it into her lap. Korra snatched it out of her hands. Before the engineer could reprimand her, she threw a blanket over the tow of them, making sure that it covered Asami’s pale feet. 

“You always complain about being cold,” Korra explained when the engineer glanced at her in confusion. “I just wanted to make sure you were comfortable.”

_It’s something I love about you too._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think. :) [knocking-down-hesitation.tumblr.com](http://knocking-down-hesitation.tumblr.com)


	7. Chapter 7

**_Good morning! – SatoCEO_ **

**_Are you kidding? It’s too early! – Avatar157_ **

**_It’s 10 am – SatoCEO_ **

**_Exactly! Normal people sleep until noon – Avatar157_ **

**_Not if they have classes in the morning. It keeps my afternoons free – SatoCEO_ **

**_Well, that makes one of us. Goodnight – Avatar157_ **

**_I think you mean, good morning :p – SatoCEO_ **

**_Whatever – Avatar157_ **

“So, what have you found out?” Bolin asked around a mouthful of food. Asami watched him with a raised eyebrow, before picking up a napkin and dabbing at a bit of meat juice and drool from his chin.

“She loves running, she doesn’t like mornings, she loves kids, and she uses ‘doctor handwriting’ on the smaller notes,” Asami answered, leaning back in her chair and crossing her arms over her chest. “Some of these things I already knew, but the running and the handwriting threw me off.”

“What do you mean?” he wondered. Asami glared. Bolin closed his mouth and rapidly began to chew, before grabbing his glass of water and taking a huge gulp, swallowing loudly. “Why do you think those two things threw you off?”

“She’s written me notes before,” she answered, leaning over to pick up her shoulder bag from underneath the table. Pulling out her black and red laptop, she placed it onto the table and booted it up. “Just small things like changing meeting times or that she borrowed a jacket of mine,” she muttered, “…which I still haven’t gotten back.” Asami tucked her hair behind her shoulder before hunching over her computer, typing rapidly. "Anyway, the handwriting is different for both of them."

“What are you doing?” Bolin wondered.

“I’m looking into my father’s case.” Asami rested her chin in her hand, peering at the computer screen, opening every new link that came up in her internet browser. Scanning the articles, she searched for new information. When she came up empty, she canceled out of a tab before reading a new one.

“They still haven’t found the driver from the hit and run?” he took another big bite of the sandwich in his hands. He leaned over to peer at her computer screen, but stopped once she placed a hand on his shoulder and pushing him back to his original position.

“No; nothing new,” she announced, slamming her laptop close. “I just don’t understand how a person could leave someone when they’re hurt. I’ve spent a lot of time looking into this and still nothing.” She breathed hard, slowly shaking her head. “They didn’t even have the decency to call for help.”

“I’m sure something will come of the case soon.”

Asami grumpily leaned back into her seat. She began to bounce her foot up and down, her knee hitting the low table, causing it to shake. Bolin reached out and grabbed his glass of water before it fell off of the table. “…I’m going to go for a run, to clear my mind,” she announced, grabbing her laptop and slipping it back into her shoulder bag.

“By yourself?” Bolin asked.

“Well, you won’t come with me, Opal doesn’t really like to sweat, and Mako is eyeballs deep in his criminology courses,” she listed off, tapping a finger after she named each person.

“Ask Korra.”

“She hates mornings.”

“Yes, but she did say that Avatar157 likes to go running,” he pointed out.

Asami flung her bag over her shoulder, adjusting the strap against her chest. She buckled up the pocket, tightening the strap with a hard yank. “Which is weird because I know for a fact that she hates running.”

“So why don’t you call her out on it?” Bolin suggested. Asami paused, turning to look over at the budding actor. A bright smile slowly filled her face. She leaned over and gave him a giant hug before ruffling his hair.

“…In exchange for that good idea, I will pay for your next session of headshots,” she promised.

“You’re the best!” Bolin cried. “Have fun.”

\---

Korra groaned, lifting her head up out of her covers. She glanced over at the clock on the wall, rubbing her burning eyes. She let out another loud groan as she heard a loud knock on the door. It was the sound that had initially waked her up, but she wasn’t sure if it was a dream or not. Now that it was a reality, she slowly slid out of her bed, landing on the ground with a loud thump.

Mumbling to herself, she stumbled over to the door before unlocking it and flinging it open. “What the hell is-”

“Morning, Korra,” Asami said brightly. Korra blinked slowly before glancing at the woman in front of her. Asami’s dark hair was pulled back into a ponytail. She was dressed in a black and red sports bra with matching sweatpants, and black shoes. Her toned abdomen was on full display, her pale skin bright against the dark colors she was dressed in. 

Korra loudly cleared her throat, looking away from the beautiful woman in front of her before glancing at the clock once more. “You do know it’s only nine in the morning, right?” she asked.

“Yeah, perfect time to go on a run before classes start.”

“…Say what?” Korra was fully awake now. She squeezed her eyes shut before punching herself in the thigh, silently stewing in self-loathing for writing that Avatar157 liked to go running. It was something she had initially stated to help keep her identity a secret from her friend. Asami’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion, as she watched her friend punch herself. “I’m cramping up,” Korra muttered. “What makes you think I want to go running?”

“Because you’re my best friend,” Asami pointed out.

“And?”

“And, you’re fit enough.”

“So?”

The engineer exhaled sharply through her nose before throwing her hands up in the air. “So, no one else will go with me,” she admitted.

“And I’m sure there’s a reason why,” Korra cried.

“I don’t want to go by myself,” Asami added. She lifted her right leg and grabbed her ankle, stretching her leg muscle. “Come on, it’ll be fun. We can go for doughnuts after.”

“Doesn’t that kind of negate the purpose of running?” she wondered. “Plus, my alarm doesn’t go off for another two hours and forty-five minutes,” she said, a bit of whining laced in with her words.

Asami smirked as she straightened back up. She crossed her arms over her chest, shifting all of her weight to one side. “Yknow, for one of the top athletes at this school, you sure don’t seem like much competition.” She watched in silent amusement as Korra’s blue eyes widened before narrowing into a glare.

“Fine,” Korra growled. “Give me a few minutes to change.” With that she slammed the door closed. Asami chuckled to herself, leaning against the wall by the door, silently congratulating on a job well done.

\---

“We can take a break if you need it,” Asami suggested, handing Korra water bottle. Her friend reached up from her position on the ground, thanking her before opening the bottle and dumping it contents over her face and down her midsection. Korra was dressed in a blue sports bra and matching shorts. The engineer couldn’t help but watch as the water flowed over her toned abdomen, into each crack and crevice of her ripped muscles.

“No…no need…to take a break…I’m…fine,” Korra panted. She wiped off the excess water from her chest before slowly sitting up. “In fact…I think…I can do this…for another…hour,” she wheezed. Asami held her hand out, helping her friend to her feet. Korra felt the warmth from her friend’s palm, moving from her hand all of the way around her body. After a few moments, Korra pulled her hand away and swatted at a pretend fly.

“Korra, it’s only been about ten minutes,” Asami gently answered.

“Excellent!” she answered over enthusiastically. “Then we have…more time…to run.” Her friend shrugged before turning and beginning to run down the sidewalk. _I’m going to kill Kuvira for saying Avatar157 liked to run. Just because she likes it, does not mean every athlete does._ Korra breathed deeply, silently pumping herself up, before following Asami.

She was able to catch up to her and kept their stride at the same pace, but a few minutes later, her lungs began to burn something fierce. Korra tried to keep her breathing under control but Asami quickly picked up on it. 

“Are you sure you’re doing okay?” Asami had asked. Korra glanced over at her in awe and disbelief. Her friend’s speech pattern only seemed to be interrupted by their foot falls; otherwise she was speaking as if she were talking a stroll through the park.

“How can you…talk and run…” Korra gasped.

“At the same time?” Asami filled in. “I’ve been running for years. It gets easier.”

“You’re amazing,” she muttered. Asami smiled at the compliment, before slowing to a walk. Korra placed her hands on her hips as she breathed deeply for air. Mako exited the criminology building, wincing as he shielded his eyes from the sun. Korra tapped Asami on the arm and pointed in his direction. Her friend grabbed her by the arm and walked the two over.

“Hey Mako,” Asami called out. He blinked once before looking in their direction, giving them a soft wave. “What are you up to?”

“I’m taking a break from studying,” he muttered. After rubbing his eyes he gave the two a gentle smile. “Being cooped up in a room for too long was starting to get to me. What’s up with you two?”

“We’re just on a run before classes start,” she answered. Korra flashed a smile before giving him a thumbs up. He watched in amusement as she doubled over once more, inhaling deeply.

“You actually got Korra to go running?” he laughed. “I have to give you props. Waking her up this early is like trying to control an elephant.

Korra immediately straightened back up and punched him in the arm. She chuckled as he winced in pain, before nudging Asami in the arm with her elbow. “She made a comment I had to prove otherwise.”

“That’s something I always liked about you,” Mako commented. “You are never afraid to take up a challenge.” Korra shrugged, rubbing the back of her neck. “Anyway, I’ll catch up with the two of you later. I need to get something to eat before classes start.”

“How about a shower?” she asked with a raised eyebrow. Asami laughed as Korra raised a hand and waved at the air as if she were blowing away a bad smell. 

“You’re one to talk,” he shot back.

“Ha ha.”

The two girls said goodbye to him before taking the path on campus that led back to the dorms. Asami stopped them as they passed by a vending machine, buying two more plastic water bottles since they had recycled the original two she had brought for them. “I like your flirting style,” she snickered.

“I wasn’t flirting,” Korra groaned. “We’ve been friends for years. How many times must we go over this?”

Asami had transferred to Republic City High for her senior year of high school. She had quickly become a part of Korra’s small group of friends which included Mako, Bolin, and his girlfriend Opal. Korra and Mako would constantly argue with each other, causing Asami to assume they were dating or had been dating. At every mention of their possible relationship status, Korra would just scoff and deny the accusations.

Soon afterwards, Asami and Mako had begun to date, continuing all the way up until the start of their freshmen year at Republic City University. Korra didn’t mind the couple at first, but eventually she soon grew tired of their pet names and hand holding and sneaking quick kisses with each other when they thought no one was looking. She couldn’t help but feel overjoyed when they had broken up, and yet her happiness confused her, it was something that still bothered her to this day.

“So, what’s the deal?” Korra asked, receiving her water bottle from Asami. The engineer looked at her in confusion as she drank from her bottle. Korra pulled her high wolftail out from its holder and dumped half of her water bottle over her head. Asami quickly glanced away this time as the water poured over the fit frame.

“What do you mean?” she wondered.

“You say you run a lot, but you only do it when you really need to clear your head because you’re upset about something.”

Asami bit the inside of her cheek, laughing through her nose that her intentions were easily visible. While attending an all-girls school before transferring to Republic City High, the girls all thought she was weird because she was coldand kept to herself. The reason why she didn’t try to connect with the other girls is because they judged her and they didn’t have much in common, seeing as she was really into engineering and doing things with her hands while they focused on boys and shopping. While Asami did enjoy shopping and other things girl, it wasn’t too high on her priority list, especially when she would get an adrenaline rush from racing the cars from her father’s company.

“I was looking into my father’s hit and run. There’s still no news,” she announced.

_You had to have seen this coming, Korra. I mean, the anniversary of everything was yesterday._ “I’m sure something new will come up eventually.”

“All we talk about is me and that night. But what about you?” Asami pressed. “You were in a car accident as well! I thought I was going to lose you too. I don’t know how I would have handled that,” she whispered. 

“Hey, I’m still here.” _That was a stupid thing to say!_

“Maybe things would have been different if I didn’t go to that Engineering Summit after the party.” Asami looked down at the ground, her green eyes turning a shade lighter. They began to look a little golden instead of green. “I would have been able to say goodbye. I know we never really saw eye to eye on things, but I still love him.”

“I’m sure he knows that,” Korra said quietly. 

Asami stepped forward and wrapped her arms around Korra’s neck, giving her a big hug. Korra felt her body turn warm, her cheeks burning, as the pale girl pressed against her. Guilt raced up her throat, clenched her lungs tight, creating a burning put in her stomach. “Well, you were in the hospital for so long and then you had to go through physical therapy, you had to fight for so much.” Korra let out a soft sigh as she relaxed when Asami pulled away. “That’s why I think you’re amazing, to be able to stay on top of school work and everything while going through that trauma.”

“Thanks.” Korra tried to half-smile but failed miserably. _What about **your** trauma? Maybe Kuvira’s right, I should tell her. No matter how hard it will be…_ She cleared her throat before grabbing a hold of Asami’s hand, ignoring the heat that raced through her body once more. “I have to tell you something about that. Something important.”

“What is it?” Asami asked. Her green eyes widened a bit with worry. 

_Oh, don’t make that face. You look cute and sad at the same time. You’re breaking my heart._ Korra took a deep breath, squeezing Asami’s hand harder. A ghost of a smile appeared on her face when she felt Asami squeezing back, as if giving her some reassurance. 

Before she could say anything, Kuvira ran up to the two of them and grabbed Korra by the shoulders, pushing her back a few steps, causing the two friend’s hands to break apart. “Korra, we need to talk!” she hissed. “Right now.”

“Kuvira, I’m kind of busy,” Korra answered, pushing her friend’s hands off. She looked over at Asami and gave her an apologetic look. She looked at Kuvira and raised her eyebrows high. “I was going to tell her about…you know what.”

“This is urgent,” Kuvira muttered. “Trust me.” The darker girl glanced in to her friend’s olive green eyes for sincerity. Normally, when Kuvira would say something was urgent it would in actuality be something very simple and not urgent at all, like bringing Kuvira a jacket to the science building when the a/c kicked on. However, this time, Korra could tell that she meant business.

“Sorry,” Korra muttered as she faced Asami. “Can we talk later?”

Asami nodded before glancing at her watch. “Yeah, I have to get to class anyway.” She looked over at Kuvira and gave her polite smile. “Have a good day.”

“What’s up?” Korra demanded. “I may lose my nerve after this.”

Kuvira licked her lips before leaning forward and pressing her mouth close to Korra’s ear. “…I think I’m pregnant.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case anyone is confused: In chapter 5, the passage that starts with "Three Years Before/Ago/Earlier (i don't remember off the top of my head which word I used) is a flashback. Everything before then is present day. Chapter 6 is present day. This chapter is present day. Sometimes with flashbacks I use italics and sometimes I don't, i just use description and explanation to move into a flashback.
> 
> Please let me know what you think. :) [knocking-down-hesitation.tumblr.com](http://knocking-down-hesitation.tumblr.com)


	8. Chapter 8

“Hey, you two,” Asami called out as walked up to Opal and Bolin in The Basement. They were seated on one of the couches, curled up in a corner. Opal was leaning into his side, reading a book while Bolin stared at a television screen, watching a football game.

“How was class?” Opal asked, marking her place in the book. She closed it and gently placed it onto the table in front of her before turning to face Asami as she sat down on the couch.

“It was okay,” she answered with a shrug. “You learn about one mathematical formulation of quantum mechanics, you learn them all.” 

Bolin snapped his head towards Asami. His eyes were wide and his jaw slowly dropped. Opal reached out and pushed on his chin, moving his lower jaw back up. He squinted, sticking a finger into his ear, wiggling it around, and then pulling it back out with a light pop. “What did you just say?” he asked.

“Just focus on the game, sweetie,” Opal instructed. She picked up the remote from the coffee table and turned the volume up. Bolin patted her knee in thanks, before turning his focus back to the television screen. She faced Asami with a bright smile. The engineer lightly frowned as the younger girl sat up a bit straighter in her seat, crossing her arms over her chest. “So, how are things with you and Korra?” she asked lightly.

“Fine, why?” Asami asked slowly.

Opal huffed, rolling her eyes. She smacked her boyfriend on the arm. He flinched, rubbing the spot over his shirt, but continuing to stare at the television screen. “Bolin made it seem like some big tragedy is going on.”

“Bolin!”

At that, he jumped in his chair. He smiled sheepishly at Asami, fiddling with the remote in his hands. He tossed it into the air and caught it over and over again. The engineer reached over and plucked it out of his hands, turning the television off with a firm press to the POWER button. “I couldn’t help it,” he cried. “It’s the most amazing love story of the year.”

“Nothing’s happened yet,” Asami pointed out.

He looked up at the ceiling before snapping his fingers. “…It _will_ be the most amazing love story of the year,” he declared. Bolin turned in his seat so that his back rested up against the arm rest of the couch. Opal pressed her back against his chest as he wrapped an arm around her waist. “Well, how did the run go?”

Asami sighed hard, rubbing her temples. She dropped her school bag to the floor. She kicked off her shoes and leaned up against the armrest at the opposite end of the couch. Grabbing a throw pillow she hugged it against her chest. “Korra was going to tell me she was behind the notes,” she announced.

“What do you mean she was going to?” Opal wondered.

“We got interrupted by Kuvira,” she admitted, toying with the fringed edge of the pillow. “She said it was some sort of an emergency.”

“Figures,” Bolin answered, shaking his head slowly. “There’s always something stopping you two.”

“Hey,” Asami cried. She motioned for Opal to move out of the way. As soon as the younger girl ducked, she pitched the pillow across the couch and hit Bolin directly in the face. “If it’s an emergency, it’s an emergency. I don’t question it.”

“Well, when is the next time you’ll work with her on the letters?” Opal asked.

Asami frowned. She pulled out her cellphone and brought up the calendar app. “Not for a while. She’s getting busier with swim team.” She turned the screen around and presented the highlighted date. “She showed me her calendar the last time we met up,” she explained.

Opal gently pushed the engineer’s hand away. She tucked some hair behind her ear, chewing on her bottom lip. “Asami, may I ask you something?”

“Sure, go ahead.”

“If things work out, I’ll be happy for you…,” she started. Asami raised an eyebrow. She tapped her thumbs against her knees, waiting patiently. “But, are you sure you want to start a relationship on a lie?”

“A small lie,” Asami corrected her. “I mean, haven’t you ever written a secret love note before?” she asked.

“Yes,” Bolin said enthusiastically at the same time Opal answered in a flat tone, “No.” The two girls looked at him in amusement as he quickly turned to look over his shoulder, pretending to look for the person who had answered Asami’s question. He scratched the back of his head and shrugged when he couldn’t find the speaker. 

“Things like this have been in print and the media for years,” she added.

“Yes, but its fiction,” the younger girl pointed out. “This is real life.”

“I think it’s romantic,” Bolin commented. He poked Opal on the shoulder, drawing her attention. She lifted her head to look up at him. “Your thoughts on romance may be different from everyone else’s. That’s what makes us all unique.” He smiled and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

“That was deep, Bolin,” Asami commented.

“It happens from time to time,” he shrugged. 

“What I find interesting though, is that sometimes Korra is really nervous around me, and other times she’s her usual confident self.”

“Well, she doesn’t know that you know,” Opal reminded her.

“She could just be trying hard to keep your friendship,” Bolin added. “To try to keep things as normal as possible.”

“Maybe, I have to try harder,” Asami said, tapping her chin. “She was close to telling me once, she may do it again. I’ll just make her an offer she can’t refuse.”

\----

Korra slammed Kuvira’s dorm room door shut with her foot. The pictures that were hung up on the wall shook violently. She clicked the lock on the door, but for added measure she wedged a chair underneath the door handle.

Kuvira began pacing, her hands clasped behind her back, her braid whipping around with each turn. The darker girl flinched every time she tried to get close. She leaned back, trying not to get struck in the face.

“Okay, don’t panic,” Korra said. She grabbed Kuvira by the shoulders, forcing her to stay still. “Now, how did this happen?”

Kuvira blinked slowly. “Well, around the start of the semester, we had a huge argument and-”

Korra stuck her fingers in her ears and she rapidly shook her head. Her blue eyes were wide with a look of horror and disgust. “Spare me the details of your hate sex,” she demanded. “…or makeup sex, or whatever it was.”

Kuvira rolled her eyes. She grabbed Korra by the wrist and walked over to her bed, forcing her to sit down. She then sat down next to her, sitting cross-legged. “Do you remember that fight Baatar and I had?” she asked. “When I threw that book at him?”

“You threw a book at him?”

“It wasn’t a big one. Besides I was mad,” she answered defensively, raising a shoulder. 

“I remember that fight.” Korra snapped her fingers. “You two didn’t talk for a while until you made up. I spent a lot of money on terra cookies that weekend.”

“ _Anyway_ ,” Kuvira growled, “it kind of happened around then. I don’t even remember what we were fighting about, but when we made up, things felt different, and it just happened.” She twiddled her fingers together, looking shyly at her bedspread. “I didn’t think too much of the…consequences….since I’m on the pill and we used protection.”

“Okay,” she said slowly. Korra sighed hard as she pulled out her cellphone, pressing the Date&Time app. “It’s now around the end of October,” she announced. “So, we still have some time to work things out. There are plenty of options.” Kuvira lifted her head, her olive green eyes lit up a bit with hope. “But before that, we have to be sure. Have you gone to the nurse?”

“No,” Kuvira answered.

“Have you missed your period?”

“I’m not due for another few weeks.”

Korra raised an eyebrow and peered at her closely. “Have you told him?” she demanded. Kuvira’s cheeks turned a faint shade of pink.

“No,” she muttered.

“Are you going to answer any of my questions with a yes?”

“Probably not,” she admitted. The two shared a smile, even the situation was far from funny.

“Well then,” Korra said after clearing her throat. She placed her phone back into her pocket. “If you haven’t actually missed your period yet, then how do you know if you’re pregnant?” she asked gently.

Kuvira shrugged. Her green eyes started to mist over. Korra bit her bottom lip. The two only became friends in Korra’s freshmen year, and Kuvira’s sophomore year, but Korra knew that her friend very rarely cried. She could watch the saddest movie in history, and wouldn’t even bat an eyelash. So, in the few instances when she does let a few tears slid down her cheeks, Korra knew they were real and that the girl was torn up inside. “I just feel…off. I don’t know, it’s kind of hard to explain.”

Korra leaned forward and grabbed Kuvira by the hand. “Why haven’t you gone to the nurse?” she asked.

“Are you nuts?” Kuvira roared. The tears in her eyes instantly dried up. “If I go, Su will find out!”

“So?” Korra watched as her friend glared, turning away in anger. That’s when it hit her. “She doesn’t know,” she concluded. “How does everyone know about you and Baatar Jr but her?”

“Not everyone knows,” she insisted. “Anyway, if she finds out she’ll kick me out of the family, and I’ll be back where I started.” Her eyes began to fill up with tears once more. “I don’t want to go back. I want to prove to my shitty parents that I can be successful after what they did.” Her voice cracked a bit. Korra rubbed the back of her neck. Kuvira had told her about her childhood, being abandoned, and growing up with the Beifongs. It was still a touchy subject, which Korra understood, and found herself admiring her friend since she used it as a way to become driven with every activity or subject she tackled.

“I hate to be a terrible friend,” she said slowly, “but isn’t the probability of you being pregnant out of wedlock kind of going against that plan?”

Kuvira rolled her eyes and smacked her friend’s hand away. “Thank you captain obvious,” she snapped. 

“Sorry, that wasn’t helpful,” Korra apologized. “I still think you should go to the doctor to be sure.”

“Will you come with me?”

“Of course. Just let me know when.”

Kuvira ripped her calendar off of the wall by her bed. She tapped her finger against each week, quietly muttering to herself. Korra leaned forward and noticed small symbols in different colors filled various dates. She flinched when Kuvira flipped the page over, rubbing her nose as the paper scraped against the end. “Mid-November,” she announced.

“Why wait that long?” Korra demanded.

“I have a tournament coming up.” Kuvira turned the calendar around and pointed to the box that had a trophy drawn on it. She was the captain of the boxing-club and was very invested in the sport. “I’m at the top of my game, and I need to make sure I qualify.”

“But…what if you are pregnant and something happens to the baby?”

“I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it.”

“But-”

“I hate to be a terrible friend,” Kuvira said with a raised eyebrow. Korra rolled her eyes when she heard her words being said backto her. “but this is kind of the same thing you’re doing with Asami,” Kuvira pointed out. 

As much as Korra hated to admit it, she knew her friend was right. In her case, she couldn’t tell Asami that she was behind the notes because of her connection with her father’s passing. Kuvira couldn’t tell Baatar Jr, as of late, because of the repercussions they would face with his mother, Suyin. She had made it clear, that when the two started to show affection towards each other, that dating wasn’t allowed since Kuvira was a part of their family. It was the main reason the two kept their relationship a secret even though a majority of the student body knew they were together.

“Secret for a secret?” Kuvira asked.

“No.” Korra shook her head. “I was going to tell Asami the truth, and now I have to work up the courage again. I’m going to be honest with her, eventually, and you have to do with the same with Baatar Jr and Suyin. “ She snatched the calendar out of her friend’s hand before flipping to the end, pressing her finger firmly on a box that held the world ‘final’. “Secret for a secret if we agree to tell them…by the end of the Fall Semester.”

“That’s in less than two months,” she pointed out.

“That’s plenty of time to work up the courage,” Korra said. She held out her hand. “And plenty of time for you to make a decision if you are pregnant.” Kuvira sighed hard before slipping her hand into hers.

“Deal.” The two shook hands, before Korra pulled Kuvira into a hug. “Thank you, Korra,” she whispered, holding her friend tightly. Kuvira rested her forehead on her friend’s shoulder, as a stray tear slid down her cheek, darkening a spot on Korra’s shirt.

“No need to thank me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think. :) [knocking-down-hesitation.tumblr.com](http://knocking-down-hesitation.tumblr.com)


	9. Chapter 9

Korra’s knee bounced rapidly as she watched Baatar Jr walk up to Kuvira as she exited the gym. He handed her a water bottle and pressed a light kiss to her forehead. She frowned, her nose wrinkling, as she pulled away, dabbing at the sweat across her hairline with a towel. He said something in her ear, which made her smile. She draped her towel around her neck, before placing a hand on his shoulder, running her thumb against the ridge of his collar bone through his shirt.

“What are you doing?” Korra muttered. “You can’t just keep moving through life as if nothing happened. You have to tell him! He can’t find out from anyone else and…I just taught myself a lesson,” she groaned. “You basically said the exact same thing for the past year. You’re good, Kuvira.”

She jumped when she felt a tap on her shoulder. Jumping away, she placed a hand over her chest turning, trying to glare at Asami, who was giggled behind her palm, but couldn’t bring herself to be angry. 

_‘She has such a nice laugh, and a great smile, and amazing eyes,’_ Korra thought as she regained her composure. _‘She’s so beautiful…and she’s talking to you Korra. Stop staring, and listen.’_

“I thought you heard me,” Asami said, brushing some hair behind her ear. Her other arm was filled with large textbooks. Korra noticed that she was dressed very nicely, well more than usual, in a black pant suit. Her dark hair was pulled back into a ponytail. “I had called your name numerous times.”

“I was just thinking.” Korra picked up her school bag and placed it on her shoulder before getting to her feet. She flushed lightly, brushing off the seat of her pants, she shrugged. “The closer it gets to November the more they’re talking about finals,” she explained. “It makes my head hurt,” she said with a laugh.

“I was about to head to Future Industries, but I’ve got some time before I really need to be there and…” Asami trailed off a she peered closely at her friend. “You don’t look too good,” she commented. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Korra insisted.

“Are you sure? It’s pretty chilly out here and you don’t have a jacket.” Asami stepped forward and placed a hand on her friend’s forehead. At the contact, Korra could feel her cheeks warming up even more. Her eyes widened as Asami leaned forward, looking deep at her. “You’re a little warm,” she commented. “Do you need me to get you anything?”

“No.” Korra took a step away. She reached up and rubbed the back of her neck, her suddenly clammy palms soothed the heat. “I’m fine. I was just sitting out here to try and clear my head.”

Asami nodded, smiling in understanding. “Driving helps me with that. How about I drive you around before I head to my meeting?” she offered. “I need to clear my head as well. It helps me switch gears from Student Asami to Future-CEO Asami.”

“Add in a trip to Narook’s and you’ve got yourself a deal.” Korra smiled. She snapped her fingers before pointing at her friend, rapidly wiggling her eyebrows. She then clasped her hands together and widened her blue eyes, before pouting.

“My car is this way, you goof,” Asami giggled, putting her hand on Korra’s shoulder and playfully shoving her out of the way. Korra stuffed her hands into her pockets and walked alongside Asami as she explained a few of the upcoming projects at her company. She didn’t understand too much about what the engineer was saying, but she enjoyed listening. Asami would brighten and would swell up with excitement and pride when explaining the advancements of the company. While she did obtain ownership in a tragic way, and wasn’t as of late the official head of the company, engineering and working was something she loved to do.

Korra peeked over at Asami from her peripheral as they left campus and headed into Republic City. The engineer had one hand on the steering wheel, directly at the top, as her other arm rested along the car door. Her pale fingers curled around the steering wheel, placed along the edges on the underside. 

“Shoot,” Asami muttered, stiffening in her seat. A loud car horn erupted from the vehicle in front of them. Korra faced forward, her hands tightened against the arm rests. She inhaled sharply as the vehicle up ahead slammed on its breaks. Tires squealed as it suddenly turned towards the right, merging into the next lane, narrowly missing a compact vehicle that was coming up. Asami glanced into the rear-view mirror, and checked over her shoulder. She switched on the turn signal and merged into the left lane. Korra tensed up, squeezing her eyes tightly, gritting her teeth, as another car horn blared.

A low buzzing annoyed Korra. She tried to lift her head, wanting to shake the bee away, but she moaned in pain instead. Her neck muscles flexed, screaming against the movement as she attempted to lift her head. The buzzing grew louder, and soon it turned into a drone. 

Korra slowly opened her eyes, her vision setting in. She grunted, carefully pulling her cheek away from the steering wheel. Glass littered the dashboard, sliding over the controls and buttons and onto the floor of the car. Her head rolled around on her neck, as she gained her bearings. Korra’s eyes settled on the car opposite her on the road, shining brightly underneath her vehicles headlights. Smoke poured out from underneath the hood of the other car, the engine continuing to cause the car to shake in place.

Pushing open her car door, she slipped out of the car, landing on the ground on her hands hands and knees. Korra slowly got to her feet before looking at her hands. Large pieces of glass were stuck in her palms. She lifted her hand to her mouth and yanked out the pieces with her teeth, ignoring the blood flowing down her wrists. Korra looked over at her car, her eyes widening as she glanced at the mangled metal, the broken glass, and the twisted plastic that had begun to melt. The smell of burnt rubber and smoke filled her nose.

She slowly turned around, taking in the sight of the other vehicle. The front of the car was pushed in, scrunched up like an accordion. The hood was bent at an angle, blocking the windshield. Glass from both vehicles littered the ground, glittering underneath the street lights. Papers, a stray water bottle, a gym bag, a briefcase, a glasses case, car seats, a few month old dog treats, and a few pens were scattered on the ground.

Above the car horn, she heard the movement of metal and glass, followed by a loud ground. _’Oh shit!’_ Korra breathed heavily as she walked over to the other vehicle, coughing as the fumes wafted in her face, burning her eyes and lungs. _‘Has the ground always been this uneven?’_ she thought, stumbling a few steps. She slumped against the car door, her body seeping with sweat. Breathing deeply, she gritted her teeth, as she tugged the door open. 

Hiroshi Sato slumped over, landing on her upper body. Korra shouted in shock as she instinctively wrapped her arms around him, before falling back onto her ass. It was then she noticed the gashes and blood on her legs. Her right ankle had swelled up and turned a dark purple. Korra’s arms began to shake, and her head turned light.

She grunted, slowly scooting herself along the ground, pulling Hiroshi with her. The car horn continued to blare throughout the night, causing Korra’s ears to ring. The back pockets to her pants were wearing away from the friction, but she continue to drag the two of them around the front of the vehicle towards the sidewalk.

Korra used her elbows as a lever to help prop herself up, scraping her lower back and spine, as she shimmied up the sidewalk, moving Hiroshi’s body to lie horizontally along the ground. She pushed herself over to the grass and sighed in content at the cool ground against her skin. Pulling her phone from her pocket, she pressed a speed dial button, shakily bringing the phone to her ear. The minute she heard the other end pick up, a tear fell down her cheek.

“Vee…,” she rasped. “Help…”

“Korra?” Kuvira gasped. The girl winced when she heard shouting on the other end of the line. Kuvira began yelling before bringing her attention back to the phone. A moment later, the sound of muffled music filled the phone, but Kuvira’s voice was very clear. “What’s wrong? Where are you? What happened?”

“Accident…Sato Estate…curved road…” Korra watched as her phone fell from her hand, floating gently to the ground. She felt a warmth creeping into her toes, flowing up her legs, and washing over her abdomen, chasing the pain away. Korra leaned back, staring up at the sky. The minute her head touched the ground, the warmth made its way up her neck. The north start shined brightly from above. “So…pretty…” she whispered. Korra smiled happily before shutting her eyes.

_"Korra!”_

Korra opened her eyes and blinked. Her eyelids fluttered rapidly as she stared at the Narook’s sign, hanging up above the restaurant. A couple was seated at a table outside, talking quietly and feeding their young child who was sitting in a high chair, their feet tapping against the table.

“Hey,” Asami said quietly. She reached over and placed a hand on Korra’s shoulder. The darker girl, squeezed her eyes shut, before opening them, taking in a deep breath. She turned and looked over at the engineer, who stared at her in worry and shock. Her green eyes were wide “Are you alright?”

“Yeah,” she answered, her voice shaking. A tear slipped down her cheek and landed on the back of her hand. Korra flipped down the visor, gazing into the mirror. She gasped in shock when she noticed how red her eyes were. She didn’t even know when she started to cry, but seeing as how stuffy and runny her nose was, it was a long and hard cry. Korra cleared her throat, offering up a smile, as she wiped at her cheeks. “I’m fine. I…I didn’t know I’d get a flashback.”

“The accident,” Asami whispered. She placed a hand over her chest, and turned away. “I should have known-”

“No.” Korra leaned over, stopping when her seatbelt held her back after a few inches. She quickly unbuckled before placing a hand on Asami’s shoulder. The engineer glanced at the hand on her shoulder before turning away. Korra moved her hand to cup Asami’s cheek, rubbing her thumb along the curve of her cheekbone. “Don’t blame yourself,” she insisted. “I can be in cars. It’s just…I get on edge when people get close…to…yeah…” she trailed off.

Asami lifted her hand and placed it on top of Korra’s. She shifted her gaze, looking directly into her friend’s pupils. She smiled, her cheek filling up the space in Korra’s palm. She laced her slim fingers in between Korra’s before moving her hand off of her cheek, resting it onto the middle console in between them. “That’s understandable,” she answered. Asami looked down at their entwined fingers. “I’m here, if you need to talk,” she said, a light flush rising on her cheeks, “…or anything.”

Korra slightly shifted her hand, so that she gripped Asami’s fingers in her palm. The engineer looked over at her friend once more, smiling shyly. “I know,” she answered with a shrug. “That’s what makes you special.” Korra’s eyes softened as the redness slowly began to fade, bringing back the vibrant shade of blue. “I’m glad you’re in my life.”

“Me too.” Asami nodded. She unbuckled herself before leaning forward. She wrapped an arm around Korra’s neck and gave her a hug before lightly pecking her on the cheek. Korra couldn’t help but stiffen at her touch. She was used to Asami kissing her on the cheek, the engineer could be pretty affectionate with her friends, but something about this one felt different. It caused Korra’s hands to shake, her breath to hitch, and her pulse to roar loudly in her ears.

Korra gently pulled away. Asami moved her arm from around Korra’s neck to her shoulder. Her green eye turned a shade darker, making her look even more breathtaking, which would soon cause the darker girl to pass out if she didn’t break her gaze, and yet she couldn’t. Korra found herself frozen in her seat, every nerve burning, her throat suddenly turned dry.

Her eyes flickered down to Asami’s red lips, her face burning when she found her friend lightly chewing on her bottom lip. Moving her eyes back up, she blinked rapidly. Asami’s smile faded, a serious look moved across her features. Her eyelids fluttered, before she shifted forward ever so slightly. Korra swallowed before slightly pursing her lips, her eyelids slowly dimming. She felt her stomach twist and turn; her heat skipped a beat, as Asami’s breath skirted across her top lip.

Korra groaned and dropped her head into her hands when a loud growl erupted from her stomac. Asami threw her head back and laughed, before playfully shaking Korra, reminding the darker girl that her hand was still on her shoulder. “Come on, let’s get something to eat.” With that, she opened up her car door and stepped out of the vehicle, tossing her keys into her purse.

“Sounds good,” Korra answered. She popped open her car door, stepping out and shutting it with her hip. As Asami searched her purse for her wallet, the darker girl leaned up against the car door, her arms crossed over her chest, a frown set upon her face. _‘Stupid stomach’._


	10. Chapter 10

"How did you find out about this place?" Asami asked, tightening the scarf around her neck. The last few weeks of October came and went, and November quickly brought colder weather. While Asami needed to bundle up, Korra continued to wear short-sleeved shirts. Even though she was used to extreme temperatures, Asami still insisted that she wear a jacket of a coat. While she never did concede and wear one, it made Korra feel special that someone cared enough

Korra pushed the gate open to the Republic City Botanical Garden, stepping to the side to allow Asami enough room to enter behind her. She had decided to take her friend to the garden because she noticed how stressed she was becoming from doing her school work and un-officially overseeing Future Industries. Her normal creamy skin looked very pale, bags lined the underside of her eyes no matter how much makeup she used to cover it, and she suddenly adopted a coffee fix; a drink Asami had previously mentioned she didn't have a particular liking to.

"Pema is a co-owner, so she says I can pick some flowers as long as I don't make it too noticeable," Korra answered with a shrug. "Or, I volunteer some of my time to re-plant the ones I pick."

"Pema?"

"President Tenzin's wife." Asami nodded in understanding a she fell in step with Korra. She brought her hands up to her face, blowing warm air across her skin. Her eyes widened, her jaw dropping in shock when she noticed all of the fields of colorful flowers.

"Oh my!"

"This way," Korra instructed, lightly grabbing Asami's arm and guiding her down a pathway. Asami couldn't stop herself from gasping every time she saw a different patch of colored flowers. She clasped her hands tightly together, leaning forward to look at the details of the petals: the mixture of pigments and color blends.

A swift breeze picked up. Asami shivered against the cold, shrinking inside her jacket, readjusting her scarf. Korra reached out and grabbed a hold of Asami's left hand, pressing it lightly into her palms. A rush of heat flooded her cheeks. _I don't even know if I'm shaking from the cold or from Korra holding my hand. Calm down, Sato. She tells you all the time that you're perfect and a person of composure. Act like it. Just take a deep breath and be you're cool and confident self in three…two…one…_

Just as she was about to say something, she tripped over branch that was on the path. Korra tightened her grip and pulled back as Asami fell forward. She caught her friend, an arm around her waist, tucking her into her side. Asami placed a hand on Korra's shoulder as she caught balance, using her other hand to tuck some hair behind her ear.

"Thanks," Asami breathed. She turned and found herself looking directly in Korra's face. Her throat suddenly became dry, her legs shaking. _What if she wants to kiss me again? It's so cold out here, would I even feel it…although her lips would warm mine up since she's usually warm all the time._

"It's okay. We're here anyway," Korra answered. She unwrapped her arm from Asami's waist before taking a hold of her hand once more, leading her into a sitting area by a bed of blue flowers. Korra unwrapped the fur pelt from around her waist and placed it on the ground so that Asami could sit on the grass without messing up her skirt.

Asami gracefully lowered herself to the ground as Korra plopped down. In front of her was a large flower bed in seas of blue. _This shade looks exactly like Korra's eyes...indescribably blue_.

"So, how are things with Avatar157?" Korra asked. "I know I've been busy with swim team and hanging with Kuvira, but you haven't mentioned them in a while," she pointed out.

_When would we have time to communicate anymore? We're both preoccupied with our own problems, especially with finals coming up._

"I've been busy myself," Asami admitted. She looked down at their entwined hands. While Korra's fingers had a few calluses, and were a bit ashy from all of her time in the pool, they were still soft and supple, moving gently over Asami's hand. "I haven't really had much time to talk to them because of school and work. I told them that I'd be busy for a while, so it wouldn't surprise me if we stop all communication soon."

"Oh, I'm sorry." Korra shifted uncomfortably.

"Well, you've really helped me narrow down some things by going over the notes." Asami smiled over at her friend. "I feel like we're close in figuring out their identity." _About as close as we are sitting right now._

"You must be excited."

"I'll be more excited when this semester is over," Asami answered with a sigh. She frowned when Korra removed her hands from hers. She shivered once more as the wind picked up. Asami stuffed her hands into her pockets as Korra started to pluck some flowers from the ground in front of them. "Maybe then we could spend a bit of our winter vacation together."

Korra continued to weave some flower stems together. Asami leaned over, watching in fascination with the way her fingers moved swiftly. Korra noticed her out of the corner of her eye, before turning away, shielding the flowers with her body. "That great," she muttered, her voice a little distant. _She sounds a little jealous!_

"I'm sorry," Asami apologized.

Korra looked in her direction and frowned, her fingers still working with the blue flowers in her hands. "About what?"

"The car."

"That was weeks ago."

"But, I caused you to have a flashback. "

Korra exhaled sharply through her nose, her hands pausing for the briefest of seconds. "Well, it's not like you could have predicted the near-accident," she said with a smile. Asami chuckled lightly. "These things happen."

"I also kind of dismissed your feelings…when we were in the car." _When we were close to kissing._

"No, you didn't," Korra insisted. "I did." Her fingers began to move in jerky movements. Her jaw clenched, her back stiffened.

"Well, I didn't press the issue." Asami looked up at the sky. The sun was beginning to set, casting streaks of pink and purple into the velvet sky. "I didn't check to see if you were okay. I could have done more. I should have done more," she rambled. "Now, we don't hang out as often as we used to. How would I know if everything is okay and-"

"Asami, stop blaming yourself!" Korra shouted. She looked over at her friend who stared back at her in shock. Korra may have a fiery temperament, and can be hard-headed from time to time, but she had never yelled at Asami before. She's yelled at Mako and Bolin on occasion, mainly if one of them eats a dessert she was saving when they hang out in her dorm, but she's never yelled at Asami before. Korra must have had the same idea as a look of regret formed on her face. "You're too nice, you know that?"

Asami couldn't help but smile in return. She leaned over and read a small plaque, explaining the type of flowers in the flower bed next to them. After a few moments of silence, she cleared her throat, catching Korra's attention. "Are we okay?" Asami asked. She watched as Korra took in a deep breath, her shoulders hunching over. Her fingers worked rapidly with the flowers in her lap, weaving the stems. Asami held her breath, waiting for a response. A look of uneasiness flashed across Korra's blue eyes. Before Asami could comment on it, Korra smiled gently. _That's not a real smile. You're eyes usually light up when you do._

"…Sure," Korra finally said.

"That's not an answer!" Asami reached over and shoved her friend on the shoulder. Korra laughed, this time her smile reaching her eyes, as she caught her balance.

"I have a surprise for you," Korra said. "Close your eyes."

"I'm not falling for this again." The last time Asami was instructed by Korra to close her eyes, she was tricked by her and Bolin into holding a small spider-ant. Korra hadn't known that Asami was afraid of insects and just wanted to play a practical joke. Turns out the joke was on her when Asami pitched herself into Korra's arms, clinging tightly and refusing to let go until she was sure there weren't any more insects around. Korra still held the scars of Asami's fingernails in her left arm.

"No, this is a nice surprise," Korra insisted. As she finished tying up the last of the stems, Asami shut her eyes. After carefully inspecting her work, she looked over at Asami and smiled brightly when she found her friend, tapping her fingers against her knees impatiently. "Jinora and Ikki showed me how to make them."

"Who?"

"Two of Tenzin's and Pema's kids," Korra answered. She decided to take her time, teasing Asami a bit more, but unraveling a few stems and re-tightening them. Asami began to rock gently back and forth, biting her lower lip, as a smile began to form. "I babysit them from time to time."

"I don't understand how you're so comfortable around kids," she admitted. "I'm terrible with them."

"You just need to know how to communicate," Korra said with a shrug. She got up on her knees and shuffled forward a bit. Asami heard her movement and froze, her breath catching. She flinched lightly when Korra placed a crown of flowers on her head, otherwise she remained still. "It also doesn't hurt that I'm majoring in social services."

"Avatar157 works with children in their spare time as well," Asami pointed out. "I'm sure you both would be great friends. You have a bit in common."

"Sounds neat," Korra muttered. "Do you like it?" she asked.

Asami slowly peeked one eye open, and then the other, staring hard at Korra's empty hand. She looked up and saw her friend was holding up a compact mirror, one from her purse. Asami gasped as she looked at her reflection. The ring of sun lilies were a rich orange-red against the backdrop of her dark hair. The colors were much more vibrant underneath the golden rays of the setting sun. Asami gently reached up and touched one of the petals. "I love it," she gasped. The fascination on her face, quickly melted into melancholy, the longer she looked.

"I made yours a few days ago and hid them here. I made one for myself, just in case you felt weird," Korra said. She moved to sit next to Asami and looked at her own reflection next to her friend's. "…is something wrong?" Korra asked when she spotted Asami looking somber in the mirror. Korra placed a hand on Asami's shoulder and ducked low to peer into her face underneath her raven hair. The minute their eyes locked, Korra felt a twinge in her chest; her breath catching at the magnificent shade of green her eyes had turned underneath the sunset. Korra quickly sat up and cleared her throat. Korra darted a look over her shoulder, frowning at the vast row of flowers, stretching into the distance. "Did I do something?"

"No," Asami said with a sad smile. She gently removed the flower crown from her head, holding it tightly in her hands. "It's just that…sun lilly flowers were my mom's favorite," she admitted. "They're my favorite too, and my dad gave them to me every year…"

Korra tugged the crown out of Asami's hands and started to pick at the stems, unraveling them. "I know, that's why I brought you here." Asami quickly leaned over to take the crown back. She smiled reassuringly before putting it back onto her head. As fast as her smile came, it faded as she peered closely at her friend.

"How do you know that?" she asked. "I could have sworn I only told one person." _Avatar157 to be exact._

Korra made herself busy by readjusting the crown on her head, but Asami didn't miss the way her eyes slightly widened, or that she pulled her lips into a thin, straight line. _Three…two…one…_ Like clockwork, Korra lifted her hand and rubbed the back of her neck. Asami had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep herself from smiling. Whenever Korra was nervous or close to being caught in a lie, she would rub the back of her neck. Although, when doing the motion, she would claim that she's adjusting her collar or putting tucking in the tag.

"No, I'm pretty sure you told me," Korra answered. "I have so much information stored from my friends, you'd be surprised about what I remember." As she dropped her hand, a mischievous smile formed on her face. "That's why you shouldn't stop being friends with me; I have a lot of dirt on you."

"Oh, really? Asami removed her hands from her pockets. She reached into the nearby flowerbed and scooped out a handful of soil. When Korra's head was turned, she quickly tossed the dirt onto her head and shoulders. "Now who has a lot of dirt on them?" she laughed.

Korra brushed the dirty out of her hair, playfully glaring at her friend. "You're going to pay for that." Asami's laughter intensified as she got to her feet and ran out off the sun lilly area, down the dirty path, with Korra on her heels. She couldn't help but smile more when she heard Korra chase after her. She knew her friend had more endurance than she did, which meant Korra purposely made it so that Asami was always slightly out of her reach.

The two jogged to a stop as they reached the front gates of the Botanical Garden. Their chests heaved as they fought to catch their breath. Asami peaked out of the corner of her eye, her breath catching when she saw Korra's dazzling smile, her bright blue eyes intensified by the redness on her cheeks. Asami looked over towards the front office, hiding her reddening face from her friend.

"I'm going to buy some flowers, and take them to the cemetery," Asami said as they neared the front office by the gate. "I haven't gone yet since the anniversary last month. Would you like to come with me?" _Please say yes. Please say yes…It's a good thing she can't hear your thoughts, Sato. How pathetic would it be if she knew you were begging?_

"…Um, no thanks," Korra answered quietly. "That's a private matter for you. I'll just walk home."

"I can drive you," Asami blurted out. _Calm down! Don't be too eager, even though I would really like to hold her hand again._

"Thanks, but I'd like to walk," she muttered. The wind picked up, and Korra rubbed her arms in response. _She doesn't get cold. So why is she nervous? Maybe she doesn't want to be in a car with me after we almost kissed the last time…_ "It's good exercise and will keep me in shape for my swim meets."

_That is logical. Maybe she isn't purposely avoiding me._ "Is everything okay?" Asami asked. "You'd tell me if they weren't…"

"Of course." Korra stepped forward and gave her a hug. Asami relaxed in her warmth, enjoying the way Korra's head rested on her shoulder at the perfect height. She kept herself from audibly whimpering when her friend pulled away. "I'll see you later."

"Bye Korra," Asami said gently. "Goodnight. Text me when you get back." Korra turned and gave a small wave before heading down the sidewalk. Asami watched her walk away until she disappeared around a corner. After purchasing her flowers, she climbed into her car and made her way to the cemetery, taking the long route to give herself enough time to replay their hand-holding over and over again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think! :) [knocking-down-hesitation.tumblr.com](http://knocking-down-hesitation.tumblr.com)


	11. Chapter 11

Korra walked across a barren field; the ground a blue-grey. Large pieces of rock poked out of the ground, imitating spikes along the back of a stegosaurus, curling towards a middle point. She looked around, the vast openness running on for miles, without a sound or echo. A long tree stood in the middle of the area, reaching up towards the sea-green sky. The branches resembled the roots: crooked, splintering, and pointing in every direction.

A giant opening sat in the middle of the tree, resembling an eye. Korra stepped up to the roots, carefully walking around, stepping over the space in between the rocks. Reaching the opening, she steadied her balance by placing her hand on the bark of the tree.

A warming sensation entered her palm, slowly snaking its way through her veins, and washing over her body. Korra took a deep breath before exhaling slowly, a smile set upon her face. The dark ground started to glow a soft blue, causing the colors around to her grow vibrant.

"Hello, Korra."

She gasped and turned around, facing the voice that called out to her. "Mr. Sato?" she muttered. A giant dragon with gold and red wings flew by up above. Curiously, she wasn't afraid of the creature, but comforted. The dragon glanced down at them as it flew by, spreading its wings wide. Feathers glided gently into the air falling down around the two of them. "Where are we?"

"I'm not too sure," he answered with a shrug. "I've never been much of a spiritual person. And, please, call me Hiroshi." He walked up along the base of the tree's roots, across the rocks, and up to the opening of the tree, on the other side, facing her.

The minute he touched his hand to the tree, a white light flashed on the inside of the opening. Korra shielded her eyes, wincing at the intensity. As it faded, she leaned over peering into the darkness. A loud car horn blasted her ear drums, tires squealed, and the crunching of metal ripped apart her psyche. Tears instantly began to fall down her cheeks, as she smelled gasoline and smoke. Korra flinched as she watched herself get thrown forward in her car, the metal collapsing around her. "The car accident," she whimpered. "…I crashed my car into yours. The party…"

"That's not important right now," Hiroshi said gently. He pulled his hand away from the tree. The image instantly disappeared; the openness in the trunk of the tree turned pitch black. The feeling in her hand instantly faded. Korra carefully peeled her hand off of the bark, running her fingers across her palms, aching to feel the comfort once more. "What's important is that I fixed everything."

"W-w…what do you mean?"

Hiroshi walked over to her, stepping carefully among the roots of the tree to stand by her side. He placed a hand on her shoulder, squeezing it tightly. "Your father is the chief of your tribe, a high public figure," he said. "I know what that feels like."

"Me too," Korra said with a scoff. "It's hard to read some things about myself in the paper

"My daughter understood that as well." Hiroshi sighed deeply. He took a step back, running his hand over his jaw. "Asami always felt trapped by the media, wanting to escape it. I think that's why she sees you as a treasured friend. The both of you have a connection that not many could understand." Korra crossed her arms over her chest, frowning at his words. It wasn't that she couldn't take a compliment, but that he was different than the way Asami had described him. Of course, she had only heard about his recent actions and their arguments, not necessarily about the father she had growing up. "However, you're not officially a public figure, just related to one. You're a young college student."

"Tell that to the reports in Republic City," Korra scoffed. She reached up and wiped at the tears hanging on the curve of her cheek. She wasn't much of a crier, preferring to perform the act in silence and with the shower running, to drown out the noise. Something about this place, however, just brought her emotions forward. She felt safe and protected. "When I first arrived, I couldn't go on a run without being followed. Why is it news that I take my pet out for exercise?"

"I guess the family is just as important as the man," Hiroshi said with a sad smile. "Politics, it can be a fickle thing. But, it can also prove to be helpful."

Korra frowned, trying to make sense of his words. After her father took the role as chief of the Southern Water Tribe, she had a firsthand look at the side of politics that wasn't in the public eye. Secrets, blackmail, bribes, and drugs seamed to become a common topic around her. Aside from one person trying to change the laws and ways for many, she didn't really see anything goo except for smear campaigns. "I don't follow…"

"Asami cares about you, deeply." Korra felt her stomach turn and roll at the mention of Asami's name. Bile seeped up the back of her throat, coating her tongue, and lining her teeth. "In the past few years, we haven't been close. We don't see eye to eye on a lot of things, but there is something we can agree on."

"What's that?"

Korra fidgeted underneath his calm gaze. She shook her head, praying for a droning sound, waiting for the earth to crack open and take her captive. She didn't want to hear his words, already knowing the answer, which she didn't deserve. It seemed ironic to be praised after causing such harm. "You are a great friend to my daughter. She speaks highly of you. Sometimes, I wonder if she'd ever be able to find a fault. You bring so much joy in her life. I hadn't seen her that happy in a long time, whenever she talks about you or what you do to make her smile. That's why I want you to take care of her for me. Watch over her and make sure everything is okay."

"Why are you talking like that?" she demanded. "Why are you acting as if things are final?"

Hiroshi cleared his throat before looking up at the sky. The dragon continued to fly overhead, looping around in lazy circles, cawing gently into the horizon, adding sound to the stillness. "Before arriving…to wherever it is we are…I communicated briefly with your parents," he answered. "Not too much, but we are in agreement: the car accident will not be ruled your fault."

Korra froze, her throat drying. Hearing him say those words, pounded into her ear drums, heavy with the additional weight of a grim undertone. Her pulse began to pick up, her breathing intensified, her chest heaving. "I was the one who drove drunk…buzzed….what difference does it make?" she snapped. "I made a mistake and noq I'll have to pay for it!" Her voice cracked. "Maybe…I already have," she whimpered as she looked around. "Stupid…so stupid…"

"No, you haven't." Hiroshi grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her, and oddly enough, she found the motion pleasing. The last time she was shaken like this was when she was a young girl, explaining to her father that she had broken his rule of touching the boomerang she had received as a present from a member of the tribe. She was afraid that her father would be mad at her, but he was happy that she used it to defend herself from a wild bear-seal, the broken rule forgotten over her safety. "You're young, and you still have time."

Korra looked up into his eyes and she knew. She knew from the weight of his words, the frown lines that developed around his eyes, the stillness echoing, the sky turning dark, that she had snuffed a light. "No," she said firmly, swallowing against the lump in her throat.

"It's better this way."

"No!" Korra screeched, her blue eyes turning dark, redness seeping to the edges of her iris, creating a light shade of purple. "I can't hurt her like that! I can't take away the last bit of her family."

"Korra, we both know you're her family as well." Hiroshi reached into his pocket and pulled out a handkerchief. Korra accepted it and blew her nose loudly into the cloth."This is for the best. To help protect you, it'll be covered." She folded up the handkerchief before dabbing at her eyes. He chuckled softly before receiving the handkerchief and stuffing it back into his pocket. "We'll say you fell asleep at the wheel, and we'll have your car moved. I was in a hit-and-run."

"But, that's not true." Korra shook her head. "I stayed…I helped…"

"This is the only way to make sure you have a life," he answered. "You still have time."

"I don't want it if it's tainted like this."

"It was an accident."

"B-b-but…what abou-out the police?"

"Chief Lin Beifong is aware of the circumstances." Through her tears, Korra's eyes widened, her head cocked in confusion. Hiroshi stiffened and looked over her shoulder. Korra followed his gaze and noticed a bright beam of light off in the distance, shooting straight up into the sky. "Remember how I said politics could be a fickle thing?" he asked, drawing her attention. "Let's just say, President Raiko owed me a favor." Hiroshi then nodded his head in the direction of the beam of light. "Go on."

"She doesn't deserve this," Korra whispered. "She is the one person in this world who doesn't deserve this much pain."

"Asami is strong; I know she'll be able to handle this, especially if you're there to help her." The beam of light in the distance began to grow in intensity. Korra turned around and watched the beam grow wide. Without a second though, she started to walk forward. The barren ground slipped away, rapidly propelling her towards the light.

The dragon swooped down and glided gently beside her. Korra smiled and reached out, running her hand along its feathers. The dragon opened its mouth and chirped happily.

"Korra!" a distant voice. Korra stopped in front of the light, squinting hard. She saw a shadow of a body in a chair, and another lying in a bed. The dragon swooped down next to Korra, hovering a few inches above the ground.

"Tonraq…Senna…I think she's waking up," Kuvira called, her voice echoed, floating along the air. Korra took a small step forward towards the beam of light. The dragon nuzzled its beak against her hand. She smiled and cradled its head in her arms, resting her cheek against the feathers along its head. The dragon nudged her on the arm before pulling away and flying off, straight up into the air as Korra stepped through the light.

Korra groaned loudly as her body erupted in pain. She squeezed her eyes shut, gritting her teeth, clenching her jaw, trying to focus on pain in a new area so that the rest could ebb away. A soft beeping noise filled her ears, instantly calming her. Korra took in a relaxing breath, her eyelids flickering.

"Ku…" she whispered, her voice scratch and hoarse, "vira?"

Kuvira moved her chair up to the side of Korra's bed before tightly grabbing her hand. "Hey, Korra?" she said quietly. She smiled tearfully as Korra turned her head to the side, squinting to focus on her face.

"Vee…" Korra said breathlessly. She pulled her hand from Kuvira's, placing it flat onto the bed, trying to push herself up. Korra hissed in pain before slumping back down. She fully opened her eyes before taking a slow scan of the room. "What's…"

"You're okay," Kuvira whispered. "You're in the hospital. " She got up from her chair before picking up a blue and white quilt from a nearby counter. Unfolding it, Korra stared at the patchwork, her blue eyes widening in comprehension. "You're parents are here, they were in the cafeteria. I just called them. They should be on their way up." Kuvira placed the quilt on top of Korra in the bed, pulling it up to her neck. The quilt was handmade by Korra's mother while she was pregnant with her. Korra had received the gift when she was three-years-old and it instantly became her security blanket. While Korra never took it with her when she'd travel to Republic City for school, during breaks when she'd return home she would always sleep with it.

"…The party," Korra whispered, her voice slowly regaining strength. "I remember drinking…Opal and Bolin…." She raised a hand to her head, rubbing a throbbing spot. She closed her eyes, trying to focus. "He kissed Asami. They were supposed to be broken up…"

"Korra, I know you really liked him-"

"I don't," she answered. "It wasn't Mako." The bile returned in her throat. Korra's stomach twisted and turned as tears began to creep along her lash line.

"What are you talking about?" Kuvira wondered. "You complained about Mako and Asami for ages before they broke up."

Korra took a deep breath in through her nose. Relaxing into the pillow, she looked up at the ceiling, her eyes tracing the cracks in the ceiling. Clutching the quilt tightly in her fists, she rolled her head to the side, looking deeply in Kuvira's eyes. It was then she noticed the worry lines stretching from the corners of her eyes, the crinkle in her glabella, the bags underneath her lower eyelids, her pallid skin turning translucent. Korra shifted before frowning. "I'm over him," she announced.

"Then why were you so upset?" Kuvira asked gently, softer than the rough and challenging tone her voice usually took.

"It wasn't him that I was upset about…"

Kuvira frowned. "You…" she trailed off, thinking it over. Her eyebrows rose. "Oh." Her eyes widened. "Oh!" Her jaw dropped. "OH!"

"That's a really big oh," Korra said weakly. A small smile played on her lips, stretching from the corner of her mouth. Kuvira let out a laugh. She placed a hand on the metal railing by Korra's bed, running her palm lightly against it. Korra lifted her right arm, wincing at dull pain in her shoulder, silently inviting her friend to step forward. Kuvira smiled graciously before leaning over and giving her a one-armed hug. The two stayed in their embrace, their holds tightening, before Kuvira finally pulled away. She ducked her head, hiding her face with her hair, as she wiped away a stray tear.

"That's why you left in such a hurry?" Kuvira asked.

"It hurt to see them, Vee," she admitted. "Asami's my best friend, and I should be happy for her but…I can't. I want it to be me." Korra shrugged. "I did like Mako…I used to, but not for a while now. That changed when-"

"Korra!" her mother's voice called form down the hall. Footsteps rapidly approached.

"Before I forget, I need you to promise me something," Korra hissed, rushing her words as her parent's footsteps got closer to the door. "Don't tell Asami. I should be the one to tell her, when things quiet down."

"Tell her what?" Kuvira asked.

"That her father passed."

After taking a deep breath, she leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees. "How…how do you know that?" she asked. "It…happened about an hour ago…"

"…Let's just say, I had a very vivid dream," Korra answered. Kuvira's olive green eyes slowly widened. She brought a hand up to her mouth before clenching it into a fist and placing it into her lap. She cleared her throat, and rolled her shoulders, before sharply turning away. "Thanks for being here." Korra slowly moved her hand off of the bed, grunting as she struggled to hold it up in the air.

Kuvira looked back at her a few more tears sliding down her cheeks, before taking her friend's hand, not letting go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think! :) [knocking-down-hesitation.tumblr.com](http://knocking-down-hesitation.tumblr.com)


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Korra makes a huge on-the-spot decision when Asami catches her slipping a note from Avatar157 underneath her dorm door...

The weeks passed in November and soon Thanksgiving Break was on the horizon. Korra had made herself scarce whenever Asami was around, focusing on her school work and swim team. Trying to keep her mind off of the conversation they shared in the garden. Almost revealing her secret caused her to closely evaluate every small thing she did or said when around her friends. Luckily for her, Asami was busy as well with her own projects and assignments that she didn't feel too bad about not having out as much as they used to.

Korra clasped her hands behind her back, pacing back and forth outside of the campus' gymnasium. Muttering quietly to herself, she kept glancing at the glass doors with every pass. Every time she was about to run into someone entering or exiting the building, she would send them a harsh glare, erasing their looks of annoyance.

Kuvira open the glass doors with a strong push. Korra kept her distance as Baatar Jr. ran up to her, lightly grabbing her wrist. Kuvira rolled her eyes before facing him, glaring. He said something that instantly made her expression soften. A ghost of a smile appeared on her face as he slid his hand from her wrist into her palm. She squeezing it softly, he sent her a smile before pulling her into a hug. Kuvira visibly relaxed into his embrace, resting her head on his cheek.

Upon pulling away, Baatar Jr. ran his thumb across the back of Kuvira's knuckles before giving her a small wave, stepping backward. Kuvira nodded once and watched him leave before turning to see Korra standing a few yards away. Kuvira slowly walked over towards Korra, taking a seat on a nearby bench. "Sorry, I couldn't watch your preliminary match," Korra apologized, following Kuvira. "My advisor meeting ran over. How'd it go?" she asked.

"I passed," Kuvira muttered. "I made it into the tournament."

Korra smiled brightly, clasping her hands together. Kuvira looked up at her with a raised eyebrow. She placed her elbows onto her knees before dropping her head. Korra's smile instantly faded. "You don't look too happy.'

"…I just quit the team," Kuvira announced. She ripped a water bottle out of her sports bag. Pulling the top open with her teeth, she took a long sip of water. "I told them they my senior project was taking up all of my time and I really needed to focus on it," she answered with a frown.

Korra sat down next to her on the bench, placing a light hand on her back. Kuvira pulled away, running a hand through her slick hair. After taking another sip from her water bottle, she smashed her hand on top of the cap, pushing in the nozzle. "Korra, I just wanted to know if I was good enough to make it into the tournament, and I am. Now, I have to take care of myself."

"We don't even know if you're really pregnant yet."

Kuvira grunted before placing the water bottle into the side pocket of her spots bag. She got to her feet, placing the shoulder strap on her left shoulder. "I made up my mind." She lifted her chin, raising an eyebrow while glancing down at Korra.

"Okay." Korra nodded. She patted her hands on her knees before standing up. "If that's your decision, then I'll support you in it." She then clapped Kuvira on the back, smiling brightly. "Now let's go and pack." Korra thrust a finger high into the air before marching down the sidewalk.

"Pack?" she repeated, following her.

"Remember? You're coming home with me for Thanksgiving Break," she reminded her. "I can have a doctor appointment set up for you, and-"

Kuvira grabbed onto Korra's elbow, pulling her to a stop. "No," she said firmly. "I can't."

Korra licked her lips, exhaling slowly. "You said after the preliminaries-"

"I know what I said!" Kuvira snapped. Korra blinked and took a small step away. Kuvira rubbed her temples, groaning quietly. "It's just…once we find out…it'll make every…more real," she whispered, lowering her gaze to the ground.

"I know, and I'll be there for you when you need it," Korra said gently. "Even if it means waking up at four a.m. for some wacky craving. I was already on call whenever you and Baatar Jr. would break up," she titled her head to the side, frowning in thought, "only for you two to get back together the next day. While I was basically running on fumes-"

Kuvira reached out and placed her over Korra's lips, silencing her. She forced herself to ignore the feeling of her friend licking the middle of her palm, trying to get her to move her hand. "I get." She smiled softly. It soon turned into a smirk. "Just don't get all soft on me."

Korra pulled Kuvira's hand away before lifting her shirt, exposing her ripped abdomen. "Does this body look like its soft?" she asked. "It's something even you envy on a normal day."

Kuvira chuckled. "Thanks Korra."

"Anytime." Korra shrugged. She then reached a hand into her pocket, pulling out a small folded up piece of paper with Asami's name on the top. "Now, before we pack up our stuff, we need to make a tiny pit stop to Asami's dorm. Does this look like your handwriting?" Korra slapped the paper into Kuvira's palm. "I tried to copy it as best as I could."

"Looks fine to me," Kuvira commented, scanning the handwriting. She passed the note back to Korra, who cradled it gently in her palm.

"So I'll just leave her this little message wishing her a great Thanksgiving Break, and then we can get ready to enjoy our vacation," Korra cheered happily. "And let me tell you, I _need_ some time away from Republic City."

"I'm surprised you didn't invite Asami to go," Korra answered.

"I did. Since Mako and Bolin will be with Opal and your family, and you're coming with me I didn't want her to be alone," Korra explained as they walked up towards the dorm, "but, she says she has to stay to work on things at the company and her senior project. Besides, this was before she decided to find out who Avtar157 is, so I guess it's a good thing she can't come." Korra flashed her student id against the black swipe pad outside of the dorm door. The little light turned green and made a clicking sound.

Kuvira flinched when Korra pulled the door open too hard, flinging it towards her face. She scowled before following her friend up the stairs towards Asami's dorm. "Annnnnnnnd…you didn't want to deal with the temptation of kissing her again," she added.

"I told you…I don't know what would have happen," Korra sighed. They paused outside of Asami's door. Korra knocked twice, pausing to listen for any movement, before knocking once more.

"Well, what were you going to do instead of kiss?" Kuvira whispered. "Headbutt her?"

"Shut up and keep watch," Korra hissed. Kuvira held up her hands in defense before stepping back and peering down the hallway they just came from. Korra took a deep breath and crouched down to slip the note underneath the door.

"Hey Korra," Asami called out. Korra gasped in shock and jumped up, banging her head against the doorknob. She winced in pain, looking down at the paper in her hand. She reached out and pried Kuvira's fingers open, shoved the paper inside, and then curled it back up. Asami walked up to the two of them, digging her hand into her purse, looking for the key to her room. "Kuvira."

"A-Asami," Kuvira answered.

Asami cried out triumphantly when she pulled her keys out of her purse. Pausing, she tilted her head to the side, when she noticed the two of them staring back at her, standing outside her dorm door. Kuvira clenched her lower jaw and looked over at Korra with wide eyes. She raised an eyebrow before jerking her head in Asami's direction.

"What's…what's going on?" Asami finally asked.

Korra stared back at her, her eyes wide. Kuvira cleared her throat and stomped her foot down on top of Korra's. Asami watched with a wince as Korra shouted in pain, jumping up and down holding onto her foot. "See…um…what happened…" She looked over at Kuvira, as if asking for backup. Instead, Kuvira crossed her arms over her chest and took a step backward.

Asami looked at the two of them before focusing her attention on Korra. She gripped her keys tightly in her hand. "Korra, just tell me," she said quietly. Korra peered in her green eyes and found confusion as well as longing. Asami glanced over towards Kuvira, waiting for an answer, when she noticed the piece of paper in her hand. Asami studied the handwritting that had spelled out her name. A look of delight then lit up her face as she fidgeted with the keys in her hands. "Hey, is that-"

"I found Avatar157," Korra said. She slapped Kuvira on the back, the force causing her to stumble forward. "It's Kuvira," she announced. Asami's smile faded, and her eyebrows raised in surprise.

"What?" Kuvira exclaimed. Korra elbowed her in the side before smiling sheepishly, running a hand through her hair.

"Sur-surprise?" Korra said quietly.

Asami blinked twice, before glancing over at Kuvira, who was rubbing her glabella with the knuckles on her fingers. Korra elbowed Kuvira, a bit harder than she first time, who in turn slowly softened into a nervous smile.

"O-oh," Asami stammered. "I'm mean…wow! I can't believe you found her."

 _Why isn’t she more excited?_ Korra thought with a frown. _I thought she’d be jumping for joy once we 'found' Avatar157._

Kuvira shrugged her shoulders, stuffing the note that was curled up in her hands, deep into her pocket. Korra reached out and slapped the keys out of Asami's hand.

"Sorry, I get muscle spasms sometimes." She shrugged. As Asami stooped down to pick up her keys, Korra turned towards Kuvira and clasped her hands together. "Please, do this for me. Please?" she mouthed.

Kuvira sighed hard before rolling her eyes. "You owe me, big time!" Kuvira muttered.

"I'm sure you two have a lot to talk about." Korra said as soon as Asami straightened back up, keys in hand. Korra began to take a few steps backward. Kuvira glanced over at Asami before aiming a sharp glare at her retreating friend. "I'll leave you to it."

With that, Korra turned on her heel and darted down the hallway. Even when she was sure she was out of sight after turning the corner, she continued to run; not because she wanted to escape her horrible lie, but to make sure Kuvira couldn't find her for the time being

While heading towards her dorm, she carefully began to plot her will in her head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think! :) If you have any questions or just want to chat, then hit me up! My tumblr ask box is always open, to anon or signed in users. 
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> [knocking-down-hesitation.tumblr.com](http://knocking-down-hesitation.tumblr.com)


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Korra and Mako have a talk about their past, but are quickly interrupted by a fuming Kuvira, who is on the rampage from Korra's recent lie....

Korra jumped when she heard a loud knock on her dorm door. She quickly readjusted her grip on the chair in her hands, gently placing it on the ground.

"Who is it?" she called out.

"It's just me," Mako answered before opening the door. "I thought you would have left by now. Where's Kuvira?"

"Oh, she should be here soon," Korra said with a shrug. Mako titled his head to the side, staring at the chair in her hands. She smiled sheepishly before placing it onto the ground. Rushing over, she closed the door behind him before pointing over to her bed. "What's up?" she asked, taking a seat.

"I just wanted to see how you were doing," Mako answered. He glanced at the bed before sitting down on the floor, resting his back up against the frame. Korra rolled her eyes before sliding down to sit next to him.

"You're finally pulling your head out of a book?" she asked, teasingly bumping shoulders with him.

Mako chuckled, running a hand through his hair. He crossed one leg over the other, resting his hands on his abdomen. The red scarf around his neck draped across the planes of his chest. "I knew criminology would be tough, so I'm hanging in there."

"Good to know." Korra nodded. "I always thought you were too smart for the rest of us."

"No, that's Asami," Mako commented.

"Well, then you're a close second. You've always known what you wanted to do with your life."

Mako shrugged. "Growing up, all I wanted was to protect Bolin and find a way to get off the streets."

"And look where you ended up." Korra lightly placed a hand on his shoulder. "You're doing great Mako," she complimented.

"If anyone's doing fantastically, it's you." Mako reached out and playfully shoved her. "I mean, you were in the hospital and doing physical therapy for two years," he pointed out. "You had to re-learn how to walk, and yet here you are, graduating next year." He smiled gently. "You never cease to amaze me."

"Thanks." Korra smiled. She bit her bottom lip, feeling the round edges of her cheekbones starting to heat up. Turning her head away, she pretended to take sudden interest in reading a poster on the wall. "Mako, when I asked you out in high school, why did you say no?"

Korra heard his breath catch for the slightest of seconds. Mako cleared his throat, crossing his arms over his chest. "Because, I was confused," he admitted. "You were annoying, loud, cocky, abrasive, and can argue like no one else," he whistled.

"Gee, thanks," Korra said sarcastically, trying to fight the smile forming on her face.

"You were also loyal, brave, very caring, funny, and different. We argued a lot back then so I never thought we'd be a good fit," he added.

"And then, Asami came and you started dating her," Korra added. "Boy, are we polar opposites."

"I don't think so." Mako shook his head. "You two have some of the same great traits, you just show them in different ways. Of course, you also have different traits as well"

"Why'd you two break up?"

Mako ran a hand over his face, mumbling softly. "…She got the feeling that I liked someone else," he admitted. Removing his hand, he looked over at Korra. She frowned at his intense stare, before snapping her fingers.

"Oh."

"Plus, I also kind of lied about it," he added. "It wasn't my intention, I just kept going back and forth in my mind if I was seeing the right person that I was either lying or in denial. I'm still not too sure, to be honest." Mako gave a short laugh, before shrugging. "However, I also got the impression that she started to like someone else as well."

"Who?"

 _"Where is she?"_ Kuvira bellowed, her voice carrying through the door. Korra tensed, glancing over at the window in her room. Before she could move, her dorm door flew open, banging into the opposite wall.

Kuvira growled deeply when she spotted Korra on the floor. Glaring over at Mako, she pointed at him before jerking her thumb over her shoulder. As he moved to stand, Korra tightly gripped him by the elbow, pulling him back.

"You said you'd always have my back," Korra hissed. "Remember, back in high school? We made a pact."

"That pact was made with spit, not blood. Besides, we only agreed to that so I wouldn't rat you out to your parents when you were caught skipping class. This is different," he hissed. "She looks like a raging bull," Mako muttered. Kuvira crossed her arms tightly over her chest. He quickly shuffled past her before running out of the room. Kuvira slammed the door shut before turning to face Korra, clenching her hands.

"You!" she shouted. "You…you…"

Korra slowly got up from her spot on the floor. "I'm so sor-"

"Sit down!" Kuvira demanded. Korra instantly plopped to the floor. She pulled her knees up to her chest in a tight grip. After a second, she reached behind her and grabbed one of her pillows, using it as a shield. Korra watched as Kuvira clasped her hands behind her back, slowly pacing the length of the room. Every time she glanced over at Korra, her frown would deepen. After a few more laps, Kuvira came to a stop in front of her friend. She took a deep breath before raising an eyebrow. "Korra, I'm going to tell you something that you need to hear," she said flatly.

"Okay…"

"I have been patient for a really long time," Kuvira continued as if she hadn't been interrupted. "Let me assure you, there are many moments when you didn't deserve it."

"I'm sure that's-

"The fact that I've been able to keep my anger in check is nothing short of a miracle," she added.

"You did throw a book at Baatar Jr."

"I missed," Kuvira snapped, "but that's beside the point." She cleared her throat twice before rolling her head around on her neck, a light popping and cracking sound filled the room. Kuvira exhaled sharply through her nose. "You can be such a bad friend sometimes," she announced. Kuvira held up a hand, silencing Korra who had instantly tried to defend herself. "You keep putting me into these terrible situations. I had no problem keeping your secret because I thought you would have told Asami by now. Every day that passes where you don't tell her, it affects me as well. You're being really selfish and I don't know much longer I can put up with it."

"Kuv-"

Korra bit her bottom lip, scooting a bit further away when Kuvira glared in her direction. Kuvira rubbed her temples exhaling sharply through her nose. She then marched over to Korra, grabbed her by the collar, and yanked her to her feet. Korra grabbed onto Kuvira's wrists, struggling to pull away. "I need you to pay close attention to what I'm saying," Kuvira ordered. She released her grip from Korra's collar before placing them onto her shoulders. "What you did was an _accident_. You can't keep blaming yourself. It's not healthy. You're acting as if aren't supposed to be happy, like you aren't allowed to have good things in life."

"I don't deserve to be happy when I caused someone so much anguish," Korra answered quietly. "I really like her Kuvira, and I don't think I can handle a life without her." She pushed Kuvira's hands off of her shoulders before collapsing back onto her bed. "First and foremost she's my best friend. She just…she understands things that no one else would. She's always supportive and put's others before herself. Even when things are going wrong, she finds a way to smile, regardless of what's going on."

"It's normal for you to want to impress her, to be this strong person that can deal with a lot of stuff," Kuvira said. While her voice did become a bit softer, it still carried some bite. "Korra, good things aren't the only things that occur in a relationship. They get serious too." She placed a hand on her abdomen, sighing gently. "At that point and I hate to break this to you, but she'll either accept it or move on, and you won't be able to stop it."

"I know," Korra groaned. She moved to sit up, propping up her elbows on the mattress. "That's why it's so hard to tell her. Everything has been better since we became friends. Don't get me wrong, I cherish my friendships with you, Mako, Bolin, Opal…everyone. But…Asami's different…"

"Things tend to get bigger when you keep it to yourself," she pointed out. "If Asami's as special as you think she is, which I personally don't really see," she added, ignoring the glare Korra directed at her, "she won't run away, she'll try to make things work, one way or another."

"How would you know?" Korra demanded, fully sitting up. She punched herself on the thigh, breathing deeply; her nostrils flaring. "Have you ever killed anyone?"

Kuvira growled in frustration. "You didn't deliberately go out with the intentions to kill them. Asami would understand that."

"Vee, I killed her family." Korra began to rock back and forth, wringing her hands together. The pressure she exerted turned the tips of her fingers white. "I made her an orphan. She's alone in this world."

"No she's not. She has you!"

"You don't understand." Korra shook her head. "This is life changing news."

"Korra," Kuvira said sharply. "Pretty soon I will find out if I'm pregnant. I'm going to have to tell my boyfriend who I'm supposed to view as my brother because his mother let me stay with his family. How would I not understand?" she demanded.

Korra's glare softened to a harsh look. She rubbed her glabella with the palm of her head. After taking a few deep breaths, she deflated, looking tired and worn out. "…You just don't," she whispered.

Kuvira scoffed. "No wonder people say we're so alike. We're both stubborn as hell," she muttered. Grabbing the desk chair by the door, she placed it into the center of the room, the back facing Korra's bed. She sat down, straddling the back, wrapping her arms around the back rest. "You need to talk to someone, like your mom or maybe Pema, but someone. I can't keep being the person you go to. It's not fair."

"That's understandable." Korra nodded. She inhaled a calming breath, and exhaled her pent up anger and frustration. Moving to sit cross-legged, Korra began to drum her thumbs on her kneecaps. "I guess now that Asami thinks you're Avatar157 you're going to tell her?"

"No, I'm not." Kuvira slowly shook her head. "I've been telling you from the beginning, _you_ have to tell her." She got up from her seat on the chair and sat down next to Korra on the bed. Kuvira quickly lashed out and punched Korra hard on the arm, twice. "There's never going to be a good time to tell someone news like this, but you'll just have to use your better judgment." Korra frowned, flopping back onto the bed. "You were about to tell her once, so I know you aren't _really_ a coward."

"Speaking of which," Korra interrupted, "we need to figure out our new Avatar problem." She placed her hands behind her head, resting it at the base of her skull. "Now that she can put a face to a name, she will expect things to move forward." She trailed her tongue down the inside of her cheek, before looking over at Kuvira.

Kuvira tapped her fingers against her leg, her eyebrows furrowed in thought. Korra continued to stare at her, letting the silence stretch out between them. Kuvira gasped quietly, her eyes slowly widened, when realization hit her. "You can't be serious."

Korra nodded somberly. "You just go on a few dates, break up with her, graduate, and move on."

"Easy. Right," Kuvira said sarcastically rolling, her eyes. "How many dates are we talking about?"

"Oh, I don't know…eight?"

"Eight dates?!"

"Too much?"

"Yes!" Kuvira pulled out her cell phone, bringing up the calendar app. "That's about…what…two dates a month?" she asked. Korra held up a hand, flat and straight, tilting it from side to side. "Things will get a bit more complicated around then," Kuvira commented.

"That's a good point."

"Change of plans," Kuvira announced. She placed her phone back into her pocket, sending Korra another glare. "I'm calling the shots from now on. Forget the promise we have at the end of the year," she demanded. "I will go on three dates with her, but on the last date, I break up with her and you tell her everything."

"Okay, that's fair."

"No, Korra. You have to agree to this because you _want_ to tell her, and not because I'm forcing you."

Korra sighed, placing an arm over her eyes. "I _do_ want to tell her. I tried to tell her before, remember? It's just really hard."

"Okay, then." Kuvira nodded. She held out her hand. Korra sat up on the bed, slipping her hand into Kuvira's and pumping it up and down, twice. "Call your mom and tell her we won't be coming down until tomorrow," she ordered.

"Why?"

"Asami and I already set up a date for tonight. I don't know where we're going, she kind of sprang it on me, insisting that I'll really enjoy it, kind of like an offer I can't refuse." Kuvira shrugged, a bored expression on her face. "So, you have about two dates left to figure out what you're going to say."

"Great," Korra muttered.

For the first time since her blowup, Kuvira relaxed, softening her face. "I'm not trying to be a bitch. I'm trying to be a good friend. I'm _trying_ to help. You may not like it now, but in the long run, you'll thank me."

"I know." Korra half-smiled.

"Well, I'm lying a little bit. I do like yelling at you." Kuvira smirked. "Why did you think hiding in your room was a good idea?"

"It took you a while to get here, didn't it?" Korra countered.

"Touché."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lemme guess, y'all are wondering why I had Korra previously say she wasn't ever interested in Mako, but in this chapter I revealed that she asked him out once. Am i right? Don't worry, that will be explained in a later chapter. 
> 
> Please let me know what you think! :)   
> [knocking-down-hesitation.tumblr.com](http://knocking-down-hesitation.tumblr.com)


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Korra says that Kuvira is Avatar157, Asami comes up with her most brilliant plan yet...

_Why are Korra and Kuvira standing outside of my door? Korra looks nervous about something…_

"Hey Korra," Asami called out. She fought back a laugh as Korra shot up, banging her head on the doorknob to her room. Korra winced in pain, looking down at the paper in her hand. She reached out and pried Kuvira's fingers open, shoved the paper inside, and then curled it back up. Asami walked up to the two of them, digging her hand into her purse, looking for the key to her room. "Kuvira."

"A-Asami," Kuvira answered.

_Normally she sounds confident and so sure of herself. What made this switch?_

Asami cried out triumphantly when she pulled her keys out of her purse. Pausing, she tilted her head to the side, when she noticed the two of them staring back at her, standing outside her dorm door. Kuvira clenched her lower jaw and looked over at Korra with wide eyes. She raised an eyebrow before jerking her head in Asami's direction.

"What's…what's going on?" Asami finally asked.

_Maybe this is it? She's probably going to finally tell me the truth! Although, why Kuvira would be here? Unless, she's here for some emotional support or something. Calm down Asami, stop jumping to conclusions. As hard as it may be, just wait for Korra to actually answer._

Korra stared back at her, her eyes wide. Kuvira cleared her throat and stomped her foot down on top of Korra's. Asami watched with a wince as Korra shouted in pain, jumping up and down holding onto her foot. "See…um…what happened…" She looked over at Kuvira, as if asking for backup. Instead, Kuvira crossed her arms over her chest and took a step backward.

_Gosh, Korra's so cute when she's flustered. Look at that smile! Why does Kuvira look so annoyed? Okay, more annoyed than usual. She's sure is looking at Korra strangely, as if she's waiting for her to tell…of course! Stay calm, Asami. You may have tried to drag these words out of her before, but don't cause Korra to run off. Just let her do all of the talking. Just, please tell me. Please, please, please._

Asami looked at the two of them before focusing her attention on Korra. She gripped her keys tightly in her hand. "Korra, just tell me," she said quietly. Korra peered closely at her. Asami forced herself to remain cool, silently telling her brain to tell the rest of her body to not do anything rash.

Asami glanced over towards Kuvira, waiting for an answer, when she noticed the piece of paper in her hand. Asami studied the handwriting that had spelled out her name.

_Oh my! That's another note! This proves it! Now Korra has to tell me. Act aloof, Sato. Just keep pretending, for a bit longer, that you don't know what's going on._

A look of delight then lit up Asami's face as she fidgeted with the keys in her hands. "Hey, is that-"

"I found Avatar157," Korra said. She slapped Kuvira on the back, the force causing her to stumble forward. "It's Kuvira," she announced. Asami's smile faded, and her eyebrows rose in surprise.

_She…what? WHAT?!_

"What?" Kuvira exclaimed.

_My thought's exactly!_

Korra elbowed Kuvira in the side before smiling sheepishly, running a hand through her hair. "Sur-surprise?" Korra said quietly.

_What just happened? Everything was right there, Korra, and perfectly laid out. Why didn't you just say it? What are you so afraid of?_

Asami blinked twice, before glancing over at Kuvira, who was rubbing her glabella with the knuckles on her fingers. Korra elbowed Kuvira, a bit harder than she first time, who in turn slowly softened into a nervous smile.

_Say something, Sato. She just 'found' the girl you've been 'looking' for. This should be a big moment for you. Do something! Act shocked and surprised!_

"O-oh," Asami stammered. _No, that was so fake. This is why Bolin is the actor, and not you. You have to make it believable._ "I'm mean…wow! I can't believe you found her."

Kuvira shrugged her shoulders, stuffing the note that was curled up in her hands, deep into her pocket. Korra reached out and slapped the keys out of Asami's hand.

_What was that?_

"Sorry, I get muscle spasms sometimes." She shrugged. As Asami stooped down to pick up her keys, immediately straightening back up when she heard Kuvira whisper: "You owe me, big time!".

"I'm sure you two have a lot to talk about." Korra said. Asami began to fiddle with the keys in her hands as Korra began to take a few steps backward. Kuvira glanced over at Asami before aiming a sharp glare at her retreating friend. "I'll leave you to it."

With that, Korra turned on her heel and darted down the hallway.

_No, where are you going? Why is this happening?_

"So…it was you all along?" Asami asked, breaking the silence. Kuvira finally looked over at her, after watching Korra disappear. Her face was slowly turning a red, her nostrils flaring, and her chest heaving with each rapid intake of air. "A-are you okay?" _I know I'm not._

"Just fine," Kuvira practically spat. She cleared her throat, instantly relaxing. The color in her face slowly returning to normal. "Yeah," she said quietly. "I didn't know how to tell you, about…these." She pulled the note out of her pocket, handing it over to Asami.

"I have to say I'm really shocked," she said, placing the note into her purse. "I mean, you're with Baatar Jr…" _There's also the problem of me being in love with my, and I guess your, best friend. Let's not forget, that we don't really like each other._

"Things are…complicated with him, right now." Kuvira rubbed her upper arm. "Well, I guess all the time," she admitted with a bitter laugh. "I'm sorry for being…jumpy, but there's somewhere I have to be right now," she said, pointing over her shoulder.

 _I don't blame you._ Asami nodded once, not really knowing what to say. Kuvira lifted her chin in response, before turning and marching down the hallway. "Wait, how about we go out tonight?" Asami blurted out. _What are you doing?_ "You know, to get to know each other a bit more?" she suggested. "There's some place I want to take you that I'm sure you'll love." _More like Korra would love._

"Yeah, sure," Kuvira answered, distractedly. "Is seven okay?"

"Seven's perfect," Asami said with a forced smile. _This is far from perfect!_ "How about we meet outside of Korra's dorm?" Kuvira nodded before power walking down the hallway. She growled at a freshmen who just so happened to walk in front of her, towards a nearby bathroom.

Asami was in a daze as she walked over to Opal's dorm. She didn't remember knocking, but soon found herself seated on the bed, opposite her friend. Bolin was reclined in Opal's desk chair, tossing popcorn up into the air, catching the pieces in his mouth. A script was on the ground by the chair, crumpled and torn.

"What's wrong, Asami?" Opal asked. She used her heel to push her open suitcase underneath her bed. "You look…dumbfounded."

Bolin gasped loudly before jumping to his feet. The popcorn bowl fell to the ground, spilling across the carpet. He frowned, placing an arm around Asami's shoulders, before facing Opal, looking offended. "How can you say that?" he demanded. "Asami isn't dumb. She's the smartest, brightest, and most brilliant-"

Asami laughed, ruffling up his hair. "Bolin, she means I look astounded," she answered patiently. Opal glanced down at the new mess on her floor, glaring over at her boyfriend, who was oblivious to her anger.

"Huh?" he muttered.

"Baffled."

"What?"

Opal couldn't help but giggle into her palm, her anger instantly disappearing. "Confused, you know, like how you look now," she suggested, pointing to his face. Bolin looked over at Asami who nodded with a half-smile. Bolin smiled brightly, digging into his pocket for a scrap piece of paper and pen, to write down the new words he had just learned. "What's going on? " Opal asked.

"I have a date tonight," Asami announced.

Opal and Bolin's jaws dropped in surprise. They glanced at each other. Opal immediately moved over to make room for Bolin on the bed, who practically launched himself into her lap. "With Korra?" they asked.

Asami wanted to laugh at their expressions, but couldn't find herself to really join in on their mirth. "No, with Kuvira," she announced. At that point, she let out a huge laugh when Opal's and Bolin's faces instantly changed to a mixture of bewilderment and happiness. Asami placed a hand on her chest as she fought to catch her breath.

"What?" Bolin asked.

"What happened?" Opal demanded.

Asami coughed before clearing her throat. She reached up and wiped tears from the corner of her eyes, careful of smearing her mascara. Her smile instantly faded as she thought back. "I was walking back to my dorm because I forgot one of my textbooks that I needed for my senior project. I found Korra and Kuvira standing outside of my door, trying to push something under it." The corner's of her lips twitched when she noticed Bolin leaning forward, his elbows resting on his knees, cupping his cheeks in his hands. "I knew it was a new note but I didn't want to show them that I knew. So I asked what they were doing…"

_I basically caught her in the act. Why would she lie to me? Keep in mind, Asami, she's been lying to you before. So then, why would she continue to lie? We've always been able to talk about anything? What is keeping her so quiet? What is she so afraid of?_

"And?" he prompted, almost shouting, bringing Asami out of her thoughts. Opal studied her, one of her eyebrows were raised, her arms crossed over her chest. The beginning of a frown tugged on the corners of her lips.

"A-and Korra said that she found who Avatar157 was. I thought for sure she was going to tell me, but then she said that it was Kuvira." At that point, Opal snorted. Asami briefly glanced over at her. Bolin reclaimed her attention when he began to tug on her arm. "As I was walking up, I noticed. Korra stuffed the note into Kuvira's hand. I was caught off guard and before I could say anything, Korra took off."

"So how did you end up getting a date with Kuvira?" he asked.

"Well, at that point, Kuvira looked like she wanted to murder someone, so I quickly suggested the date, as a way to finally spend time with Avatar 157." Asami sighed before flopping back onto the bed. "I wasn't really thinking."

"Well, what better way to get Korra out of her hole than by making her jealous?" Bolin suggested.

"You want her to use Kuvira to make Korra jealous?" Opal scoffed.

Asami lifted a finger into the air. "That's not a bad idea," she whispered. Her dark her flew wildly as she quickly sat up. She tapped her chin with her finger, glancing at the ceiling in thought. "It's all so obvious, now. Kuvira knows that Korra is writing the letters since they were together when Korra tried to slip one under my door. In fact, it wouldn't surprise me if she got Kuvira to write some of them to hide her own identity." Asami bit her bottom lip. "Except…"

"What's wrong?" Bolin wondered.

"I don't know, but I'm just getting this feeling." Asami ran a hand through her dark hair. She raised one shoulder, an uncomfortable expression filtered onto her face. "I mean, if someone is going through these great lengths to keep their identity a secret, there has to be a really good reason to do so…"

"You think there's something wrong with Korra?" Opal questioned.

"No, I'm just thinking…," Asami trailed off. She looked in between Opal and Bolin, wringing her hands together. It wasn't normal for her to openly show her restlessness or apprehension. The only person who had seen this side of her was Korra, when she had to attend her first meeting at Future Industries with a potential project after her father's passing.. While she had presented new projects before, she had always had her father in the room, silently backing her up. "Well, hoping, actually, that she likes me as much as I like her. I mean, I've re-read a lot of the notes and messages we've exchanged lately and the way we talked, I'm sure that she wants to be with me. I just need to know why she won't tell me the truth."

"So, like your initial plan to dig Korra out of her hole, you're now going to do the same with Kuvira?" Bolin asked.

"Kind of." Asami slipped off of the bed. She placed her hands behind her back, slowly pacing the room. "Do you remember when I got Korra to go running with me?"

"I still can't believe you were able to do that," Opal commented. "She hates running."

"Exactly, which means if my theory is correct, then Kuvira likes it." Asami snapped her fingers. "So, I just need to find Kuvira's lie. I can do that during our date tonight…if I can even call it that." She walked over to the window, peering out across the campus, watching a few students relaxing out on the grass or riding their bikes along the sidewalk.

_Why can't things with me and Korra be as simple and carefree as the outside world?_

"Keep your friends close and your enemies closer," Opal sighed.

"More like keep your lover close, and your pretend girlfriend closer." Bolin reached down and grabbed a handful of popcorn off of the floor, stuffing it into his mouth.

"Yeah, but now I have my hands full with this problem." Asami commented, "Not that it didn't occur before." She turned away from the window, picking up the bowl of popcorn from the ground. A decent amount stayed within the bowl, and she helped herself to the kernels.

"I bet you'd prefer a handful of Korra." Opal winked. Asami flicked some popcorn into Opal's face, rolling her eyes. Tucking the bowl into her left arm, Asami pulled her phone out of her pocket and dialed a number.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally, this was going to be the date chapter but it was getting way too long, so I decided to split it in half. So, the next chapter is the date chapter...
> 
> Please let me know what you think! :)  
> [knocking-down-hesitation.tumblr.com](http://knocking-down-hesitation.tumblr.com)


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kuvirasami date!

"I cannot believe I am doing this," Kuvira mumbled, crossing her arms over her chest. She frowned when Korra began to fuss with the bottom of her plaid shirt, trying to keep everything straight and aligned.

"I can't believe you're wearing that," Korra pointed out. Kuvira was dressed in a green plaid shirt, dark wash jeans, and a pair of slightly dirty sneakers. Her hair was pulled out of it's braid, spilling down her back. "You could have looked a bit nicer," Kuvira glanced at her in disbelief, raising an eyebrow. "Okay, you know it means something when _I_ comment on clothing," Korra commented.

Kuvira shrugged, tucking her hands into her back pockets. "I'm not taking this seriously, Korra. I don't like her."

Korra immediately stepped back, her blue eyes widening, her jaw dropping in shock. "Why _not_?" she demanded. "She's nice, and pretty, and worries about others, and beautiful, and devoted to her hobbies and passions, and gorgeous, and-"

Kuvira reached out and slapped her hand over Korra's mouth, instantly silencing her. She rolled her eyes before pinching the bridge of her nose. "I mean, I don't like her like you do," she corrected, pulling her hand back. Korra smirked when her friend frowned, wiping her saliva coated palm on her pant leg. Kuvira shrugged. "She's…okay."

"Different strokes for different folks." Korra flinched away when Kuvira slapped her hand as she reached out to fix her friend's collar. Korra turned when she heard the sound of high heels clacking down the sidewalk. She smiled brightly when she caught Asami's eye. "Here she comes."

_But she's not on a date with you_ , Korra thought. Her smile slowly faded, as Asami waved in their direction. Kuvira rocked back and forth, offering a half-smile as her date grew closer.

"Hey," Asami greeted warmly. She smiled over at Korra before shifting her attention over to Kuvira, quickly glancing down at her clothing. "You like nice Kuvira," she commented.

"Thank you," Kuvira answered quietly. Korra cleared her throat, lightly nudging her friend on the arm with her elbow. "You too," she quickly added.

"Are you ready to go?"

"Yeah, I guess."

_What the hell kind of an answer is that?_ Korra thought as she took a small step away from the two of them, as they held a small, albeit somewhat forced. _At least pretend to be happy that you're going on a date. Show some enthusiasm!_

"See you later, Korra," Asami smiled in her direction, giving her a small wave. Before Korra could return the gesture, Kuvira tugged on the sleeve of Asami's jacket, gently pulling her along. Asami laughed lightly before leading Kuvira in the direction of her car, alight spring in her step.

"Have fun," Korra muttered.

\---

Kuvira kept her hands folded in her lap as Asami drove them to an unknown destination. The minute they had entered her car, all communication had dropped. Asami kept her eyes on the road, offering up a smile here and there, but otherwise remaining quiet. In return, Kuvira took up fascination with looking out the passenger window.

By the time Asami had slowed the car into a parking lot, Kuvira had rearranged her bedroom and figured out with parts of her clothing to donate at the end of the year in her mind. She jumped when she heard the light click of Asami's seatbelt being unfastened.

"Okay, we're here," Asami said.

Kuvira slowly unbuckled her seatbelt as she scanned the parking lot. A few cars were parked nearby, but not too many. She looked around for a sign, or something with the name of their location, but didn't find anything in the dark. "Where's here?" she asked.

"Well, you've told me plenty of times that you love working with children, so I thought I'd surprise you," Asami answered with a smile. Kuvira groaned underneath her breath before climbing out of the car. She quickly walked around the vehicle and opened Asami's door, helping her climb out. "Although, I'm not properly dressed for the occasion."

"You look fi…fine. You're fine." Asami looked over at her, a questionable look on her face. "You're so…fine." Kuvira winced, dying on the inside from her terrible attempt at flirting. Asami giggled, swinging her purse over her shoulder, before shutting the car door with her hip, pressing the lock button on her key ring. "Surprise me with what?" Kuvira asked.

"You'll see." Asami and Kuvira walked side by side as they made their way up to a moderate sized building. Kuvira quickened her pace, and reached the front door first, holding it open for her date, who smiled graciously as she passed by.

"Nice to see you, Ms. Sato," a woman greeted behind the front desk. "You can go right on back."

Asami nodded in thanks before heading down a hallway. Kuvira fell into step next to her, glancing at the decorated walls covered in crayon drawings and chats filled with gold stars. The only sounds in between the two of them were their footfalls along the tile flooring. Asami's and Kuvira's hands lightly brushed against each others.

"Sorry," Kuvira muttered, pulling her hand away.

"Oh," Asami said quietly. "It's no problem," she rushed. Kuvira awkwardly rubbed her arm. Asami cleared her throat and smiled brightly as they exited the hallway and entered a wide open room. "So, here's the surprise."

Kuvira's eyebrows rose as she looked around the room. Children of various ages were playing with stuffed animals, pretending to cook in a kitchen with a play set, drawing, playing a board game, or sitting in a circle planning a hand clap game with an older woman.

"We're going to volunteer here at this homeless shelter," Asami explained. "To give the children an opportunity to play with someone different."

Kuvira looked over at the engineer in surprise, who was leaning against a nearby wall, slowly taking off her shoes. Kuvira had to endure listening to Korra go on and on about taking care of Tenzin's and Pema's children, or how she thought it was cute that Asami was uncomfortable around kids. So, seeing the engineer actually willing to try and do something that was clearly out of her comfort zone, confused her.

_Wow, she must really like you Korra, to go through all of this trouble. You're such an idiot._

"You're pretty," a girl commented as she walked up to Asami. She grabbed a hold of Asami's hand and led her further into the room. Asami greeted the older woman in the room, before being tugged down to the floor. The older woman moved to sit at a table near the back of the room, to watch the interaction and to have some time to herself.

Kuvira clasped her hands behind her back and walked over to the group, peering down at them from above as they excitedly talked to Asami. A young boy, around the age of five, was seated in her lap, playing with fingers, entranced by the red nail polish on her fingers.

"Would you go and grab something for me to play with them?" Asami asked. Kuvira nodded once, waving to the group of children before walking over to a nearby table loaded up with games and toys. She picked up a deck of cards and placed them into her pocket, before glancing at the rest of the toys, trying to figure out which one would be able to keep the group's attention.

A soft sigh reached her ears. Kuvira looked up and spotted a girl around the age of seven or eight, leaning up against the wall, her head ducked down, her hands behind her back. Kuvira looked over her shoulder, finding the group of children talking excitedly to Asami, shoving a few toys in her face to show her. Kuvira walked around the table over towards the girl, who watched her approach.

"Hi," Kuvira said, as she crouched down in front of the little girl. "What's your name?"

"Akane," the girl whispered, shyly looking over at Kuvira. Freckles dotted across her cheeks and her nose. Her light green eyes were bright but looked as if they would shed tears at any moment. "What's yours?"

"Kuvira. Why aren't you playing with everyone else?"

Akane looked over at the group of children sitting down around Asami in a giant circle. They were playing a hand clapping game. All of the children were talking loudly, laughing and joking with one another. Kuvira noticed, that while Asami was involved, her hands weren't fully touching the children's that she was playing with. "They don't like me," Akane said.

"Why not?" Kuvira moved to sit down on the grown. She kept her gaze steady on Akane as she leaned back, resting on her weight on her elbows. Kuvira stretched her legs out and crossed one over the other.

Akane watched her carefully as she slowly slid down to the ground, sitting with her back against the wall. "They say I'm too mean," she admitted. She looked over at the other children, deeply frowning as they teased and made fun of Asami for messing up her turn during the clapping game.

Kuvira tapped the top of her shoe against Akane's to regain the child's attention. "Tell me. Why do they think that?" she questioned.

"They say I'm too braggy when I win, or that I'm bad at losing." Akane shrugged, rolling her eyes. "I can't help it if I'm good!" she added.

This caused Kuvira to chuckle. A smile slowly formed on Akane's face at her response. She moved to her knees and crawled closer to Kuvira. Reaching out, she lightly placed her finger on top of Kuvira's beauty mark. Kuvira playfully turned her head, lightly nipping at the side of Akane's hand. Akane pulled back and squealed happily.

"I know what that feels like. I was the exact same way when I was your age." Kuvira reached into her pocket and pulled out a deck of cards. "Would you like to play with me?"

"Okay." Akane nodded. Kuvira moved to lie down on her stomach before shuffling the cards in her hands. Akane followed her movement facing Kuvira, resting her face in her hands, her elbows propped on the ground. "They never really invite me to play with them either," she added as Kuvira placed all 52 cards face down onto the ground.

"So, why don't you ask them?" Kuvira asked, motioning over to Akane. The young girl stuck her tongue out of the corner of her lips as she flipped a card over, hovering her hand over the rest, trying to decide which one she wants to choose. "To make a friend is to be a friend," she added.

Akane hummed in response before flipping a card over. She cheered happily when she found a match. Kuvira waited patiently for her turn as Akane chose another card. The two sat and played the matching game for numerous rounds, with Akane winning most of them. After a while Kuvira began to watch her closely as the girl continued to find matching pairs.

"You have to be cheating," Kuvira commented as she looked down at her small card pile. While she only held a few matches of cards, Akane's pile was a lot bigger than hers. Kuvira frowned, tapping her fingers on the ground as Akane took another turn. "There is no way you're that lucky."

"I'm just good," Akane answered brightly. She pumped a fist into the air was she made another match. She reached out to slide the cards over into her pile, stopping when Kuvira reached out and grabbed her by the wrist. Kuvira pried the two cards out of her hand and examined the back. It was then she noticed a light mark from a black pen. Kuvira shifted her gaze to the few remaining cards and found them to also have black pen on the back, in various length and in different positions.

"These cards have marks on them," Kuvira shouted. "You are cheating." Akane cried out as Kuvira pulled her over to her. She then began to laugh wildly as Kuvira began to tickle the girl along her ribs and stomach.

"I didn't put them there," Akane gasped. She curled up into the fetal position, tightly gripping Kuvira's fingers in her hands. "I just play with them." Kuvira tugged her hands back and brushed her bangs away as the redness in her Akane's face faded. The girl rolled over onto her stomach and pushed herself up. She glanced over her shoulder, physically wilting, when she noticed the other children beginning to play a board game. "That's one of my favorite games."

"So go ask to play," Kuvira suggested.

"What if they won't let me?"

"Have you asked before?"

Akane lowered her head. "No…I just kind of-"

"You force them to play," Kuvira finished. "I get it." She placed a hand on Akane's shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. "Once they see that you're trying, they'll be more open to you."

Akane took a deep breath before nodding once. Kuvira watched as Akane marched over to the group of children as they pulled out a board game. Asami was standing off to the side, holding a young boy in her arms, tilting her head away from his hand, as he tried to grip her hair. "May I play too?" Akane asked quietly. The children around the game all paused and looked up at her. "I'll go last," she quickly added.

"Sure," one girl shouted, before moving over to make some room.

Kuvira half-smiled as Akane sat down on the ground, waiting patiently for her turn at the game, as the other children started.

"Having fun?" Asami asked.

"I am," Kuvira said as she gathered up the cards lying on the ground. "She's a cute kid." Facing Asami, she raised an eyebrow. "Are you doing okay?" she asked. "I know you don't…I mean, I get the feeling, that you aren't comfortable."

"You're happiness is what's important to me," Asami answered with a shrug. "Don't worry about me." She then looked past Kuvira's shoulder, nodding once. "She reminds me of you," Asami commented. "Fierce and determined."

Kuvira's smile instantly faded when she glanced back at the little girl. Akane cheered in triumph when she rolled the die and moved a few spaces across the board to win the game. She jumped up, pumping a fist into the air, her chest puffing out. Akane then dropped to her knees and began to help clean up the area with the rest of the children. Akane clapped excitedly when they suggested playing again. As the other children around them began to set up the board, Akane turned towards Kuvira and smiled brightly, waving.

Kuvira tried to smile as she waved back, but couldn't bring herself to do so. She was too busy noticing their similarities, down to Akane's dark hair pulled back into a ponytail. _If Su hadn't taken me in…then I would have been her. I was her, but I got lucky. I gained a family. What if she doesn't?_

Asami tapped her lightly on the shoulder. She was bouncing lightly, trying to comfort the child in her arms, who continued to scream and cry. She winced as one of his shouts was directed in her ear. Kuvira found the display in front of her humorous, with Asami looking very stiff and uncomfortable, but didn't comment on it.

"What's wrong?" Asami asked, her eyebrows furrowed in worry.

"I don't feel good," Kuvira muttered, before turning on her heel and running out of the room. Asami called after her, but she refused to turn around. Passing by the front desk, she exited the building, only slowing down as she came across a bench. She collapsed into the seat and lowered her head, a lone tear sliding down her cheek.

"Are you okay?" Asami asked. She sat down beside Kuvira on the bench, passing her a water bottle. Kuvira muttered quiet thank you before drinking half of her beverage. Asami remained quiet as Kuvira leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees. Wringing her hands together, Kuvira slowly shook her head.

"No, I'm not," she whispered. "I don't think I can take too much more of this."

"We don't have to go back inside." Asami chuckled quietly. "I'm not too good with children myself. And yet, you were doing great for a while. Of course, you are majoring in Social Work, and-"

"It's not that." Kuvira inhaled deeply, letting the air out sharply through her nose. "I'm not Avatar157." She waited for Asami to respond, but was met with silence. With that, she decided to continue, to explain everything. "I'm not the one writing you the notes, well, in a way I was, but, I'm not the one you like." She got up to her feet and started to pace in front of the bench, her hands clasped behind her back. "I was just trying to be a good friend, and then you announced that you wanted to find Avatar157, and this whole thing got blown out of proportion." Kuvira finally turned and faced Asami. She slowly dropped her arms, raising an eyebrow and peering closely at the engineer's calm expression. Asami stared back at her, her lips in a thin line, her breathing gentle; and yet her green eyes glittered with mischief. "You knew," Kuvira concluded.

Asami smiled before nodding. "For a while now, yes." Kuvira grunted, crossing her arms over her chest. "I know Korra is Avatar157."

"How'd you find out?" she demanded.

A small laugh bubbled in her chest, rising up her throat to be released, but Asami quickly bit back the urge. She shrugged, pursing her lips. "It wasn't too hard. That's one thing about Korra, she's kind of easy to read."

"Then…" Kuvira titled her head to the side. Her eyebrows were furrowed in confusion and her eyes were squinted as she looked up at the sky in though. Reaching up, Kuvira scratched at the back of her head, "Why haven't you said anything?"

Asami placed her hands in her lap. She smiled sadly, noticing a bed of orange flowers nearby. They reminded her of the flower crown she had tucked away in the glove box of her car. Ever since their trip to the Republic City Botanical Garden where Korra had gifted Asami the crown of flowers, she hadn't been able to get over the feeling of them being so close. She felt the warmth of Korra's palm in her hand for days after initial contact. To her, the outing felt like an actual date. "I've been waiting for her to tell me, now I'm not too sure if she will. I tried to drag it out of her by taking her running-"

Kuvira let out a bark of laughter. "I wish I were there to see that."

"Well…you were. Kind of," Asami said quietly. "You interrupted our conversation when she was going to tell me."

"Right."

Silence fell over the two of them as Kuvira sat back down on the bench. She faced forward, focusing on the parking lot in front of them, watching as cars pulled up or left, their glowing lights bringing color to the darkness. "Kuvira, why won't she tell me?"Asami asked. "Is something wrong?"

Kuvira felt a twinge in her stomach. She shifted uncomfortably, trying to find a better position that didn't dig the bench into her back. "No," she muttered.

"Is she okay?"

"Yes, she's fine," Kuvira quickly answered, "for the most part."

"What do you mean?"

"She's Korra," she snickered."I think you can take it from there." Asami laughed through her nose. She shivered as the window picked up. Sticking her hands into her pockets, her fingers brushed against the paper of the most recent note from Avatar157.

"I would tell you, but it's not my place to say anything."

Asami pulled the note out of her pocket, her eyes skimming the cursive handwriting. She looked over at Kuvira, who was staring at her cell phone screen with a frown. While she wasn't one to snoop, she couldn't help but notice Baatar Jr.'s name on the screen, followed by a short message. Asami shifted her gaze when Kuvira moved to put her phone back onto her pocket. "Maybe you can help me."

"With…what?" Kuvira asked slowly, suspicious laced with every word.

Asami turned so that she was seated sideways on the bench, her elbow resting along the back. "Look, I know I'm not exactly your favorite person in the world-"

"You can say that again," she said, rolling her eyes.

"…But," Asami said with bite, "all I want is for Korra to tell me that she's the one behind Avatar157. I've been trying to drag it out of her, and clearly it hasn't been working."

"Clearly.".

"Hear me out." Kuvira snorted. She crossed her arms over her chest, but glanced over at Asami out of the corner of her eye. "This will sound crazy, but what if we dated?"

"…Say what?!"

Asami got up out of her seat and started to pace, the same way Kuvira had done moments ago. She looked over at her date, who watched her carefully. "Nothing real, but fake. I think seeing me with someone else will help kind of speed up the process," Asami explained. "Korra tends to wear her heart on her sleeve, and she doesn't have too much patience. Whenever she gets jealous about something, it is very obvious. I remember when Mako and I dated in high school. She said she didn't like him, but, some of those side glances she gave us, made it clear that she was in denial." Asami took a deep breath. "Anyway, she's bound to explore after a while if she were to see us together and…what's so funny?" she demanded upon noticing Kuvira smirking.

"The more you spend time with her, the more you act like her. That girl can ramble on and on," Kuvira commented. "I agreed to date you a few times to help her out. I don't know why, I agreed. She should just tell you the truth but-"

"But, what?" Asami sat down on the bench, much closer to Kuvira than before. The boxer frowned, moving a few inches over. Asami frowned when she noticed the regrettable look on Kuvira's face.

"But," Kuvira said slowly, "You know how stubborn she can be." She grimaced, placing a hand lightly over her stomach. A look of discomfort flashed across her face. She cleared her throat, hoping to get rid of the rising acidic burn.

Asami nodded slowly. She brushed some of her dark hair behind her ear before half-smiling. "I know we're not each other's favorite people in the world-"

"You can say that again." Kuvira reached up and wiped the beads of sweat off of her forehead. As she swallowed the bitter taste in her mouth, her stomach clenched, hard. She let out a soft whimper, sitting up straight, very stiff, on the bench. She ran over to a nearby bush, dropped to her knees, and emptied the contents of her stomach. Asami stood up, clasping a hand over her mouth, as she watched Kuvira throw up once more. She picked up Kuvira's half-empty water bottle, and took a few short steps forward.

"Are you okay?" Asami asked quietly. She pulled a handkerchief out of her pocket, passing it over to Kuvira, who accepted it with shaking hands. Asami opened Kuvira's water bottle, placing it onto the ground next to her knees.

"A little bit better," Kuvira wheezed. "Are you sure you want to be involved?" She lifted the water bottle to her lips, tilting her head back, taking small swallows.

"This will just be a short, fake relationship." Asami placed her hand on Kuvira's back. She felt awkward the minute she felt her date's body heat, radiating underneath her palm. Pushing those feelings away, she started to rub small circles on her back. "It won't get too complicated, but let's not worry about it right now-"

"It already is."

"What?"

"Things are already complicated." Kuvira wiped her mouth her sleeve, slowly climbing to her feet. Asami picked up her damp handkerchief, folded it up, and placed it into the very bottom of her jacket pocket.

"How do you figure?" she asked quietly.

"I'm pretty sure I'm pregnant." Kuvira squeezed her eyes shut, gently shaking her head as Asami's eyes widened. The engineer pulled her lips into a thin line as Kuvira took a few deep breathes. In through her nose, and out through her mouth. In. Out. In. Out. "…and I don't know why I told you that."

"You're…pregnant?" Asami repeated. "Are you sure?"

"No. I haven't gone to the doctor yet." Kuvira drained the rest of her water. She stuffed the bottle into her coat pocket before crossing her arms over her chest. Her olive green eyes were filled with worry and exhaustion. "I can't go to the nurse at school, or a doctor in the area. Suyin will hear the news and then she'll kick me out. I don't have anywhere else to go."

"She and Baatar Jr. deserve to know," Asami said gently.

"I know that!" Kuvira snapped. She angrily ran a hand through her hair. A few loose strands and knots got caught on the ring she was wearing on her right hand. She winced upon yanking her hand loose. "I just don't want them to hear it from someone else…and part of me doesn't want it to be true."

"Dr. Hideki," Asami firmly stated..

"What?"

"Dr. Hideki," she repeated. "I can get you in to see her. You wouldn't have to go to the school's nurse." Kuvira regarded her with a raised eyebrow. "Dr. Hideki has been my family's doctor for years. Everything with her stays in between her and her patient."

Kuvira glanced at the ground, shifting her weight from one foot to the other. Asami felt a wave of compassion crash over her when she noticed how uncomfortable Kuvira looked. Exactly like the child who was alone in the corner by herself as Kuvira and Asami tried to entertained the group before leaving abruptly. "…Is there any way I can go tonight?" Kuvira asked quietly.

"She's just a phone call away." Asami placed her hand onto Kuvira's shoulder. "You know, I could go with you," she suggested. "I-if you need some support…or something…"

The corner of Kuvira's lips twitched. "Thanks, but I would prefer if Korra went with me." She cleared her throat, quickly adding: "No offense, or anything."

"Of course." Asami licked her lips, instantly regretting the action as a breeze whipped through. "I understand."

Kuvira nodded once. She moved to stick her hands into her pockets, pausing when her hand slammed into the water bottle. "Some first date, huh?"

"You can say that again," Asami laughed. She pulled out her wallet and flipped through the numerous credit cards, gift cards, and business cards, before plucking a blue and white one out of its holder," handing it over to Kuvira. "Here's the address. I'll just call her, and you and Korra can meet there. While it is late, I'm sure she'll make an exception." Asami pulled out her cellphone and began to thumb through her contacts.

Kuvira glanced at the business card in her hands. Another wave of warmth cascaded over her body, but it wasn't as unsettling as before. A smile stretched onto her face, as she tucked the cardstock into her pocket. "Thank you, Asami," she said quietly, pausing when she noticed the engineer staring at her. "What?" she demanded the gentleness of her tone instantly disappearing.

"Nothing," Asami said lightly.

Kuvira rolled her eyes. "Shut up, and dial," she ordered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew! This chapter is almost 5k words. It's a good thing I split it from the last chapter.
> 
> Please let me know what you think! :)  
> [knocking-down-hesitation.tumblr.com](http://knocking-down-hesitation.tumblr.com)


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Korra visits Pema and her children, and has a heart to heart about her situation with Kuvira and Asami beginning to date...

"Korra!" Ikki shouted excitedly as Korra entered the kitchen of Tenzin's and Pema's home. She launched herself out of her chair at the table and ran into Korra's arms, knocking her back a few steps. "I missed you!"

"Kowa," Rohan called out, happily clapping from his seat at the table. Spaghetti sauce was smeared across his face.

"Hey cutie," Korra said as she walked over to the toddler, stumbling a bit as Ikki was still wrapped around her waist. She grabbed a napkin and wiped the excess sauce off of Rohan's face before pressing a light kiss to his cheek.

"How have you been?" Jinora asked, looking up from a book placed in her lap. "How is college life?"

"Okay, I guess." Korra shrugged. She finally pried Ikki off of her midsection before giving the young girl a proper hug. Ikki ran back to her chair at the table, as Korra sat down in an empty seat next to Jinora. Taking a quick look around the room, she leaned over, lowering her voice. "How is everything with Kai?"

"There's nothing with me and Kai," Jinora hissed. She closed the book that was in her lap and tossed it onto the table, crossing her arms over her chest. She flinched slightly when she heard the sounds of footsteps heading towards the kitchen. Korra glanced in the direction the sound was coming from, but not before noticing the slight shade of pink the teenager's cheeks were turning.

"You may be smart, and wise beyond your years, but you're still a teenager and as obvious as ever," Korra whispered.

The left corner of Jinora's lips twitched as she looked over at Korra out of the corner of her eyes. "Everything is fine, great in fact," she admitted. Jinora instantly sat up straight in her chair, helping herself to the food on her plate as Meelo and Pema entered the kitchen. Meelo instantly ran over to Korra and wrapped his arms around her neck, giving her a hard hug.

"Sorry that I didn't greet you at the door," Pema said, a few strands of her bangs fell into her face. "I had to stop Meelo from painting his bedroom walls." She brushed her bangs away before sending her oldest son a pointed look. Korra half-smiled.

"It was going to be a mural for you," Meelo said as he pulled away.

"Next time, stick with paper," Pema instructed. She then picked up Rohan's empty plate and placed it in the sink before cleaning off the bits of spaghetti sauce on his hands. "Come on, Rohan, it is time for your nap."

"No nap," Rohan cried, squirming away. "I want to see Kowa." He pouted.

"She'll still be here when you wake up. Let's go." Pema grunted softly as she picked him up out of his seat and cradled him on her hip. Korra instantly stood up and grabbed the small stuffed flying lemur that was in his chair.

"I'll help you put him down," Korra suggested, handing the toy over to Rohan, who instantly wrapped it in a tight hug against his chest. She gave Ikki, Jinora, and Meelo as small wave and a smile before following Pema up the stairs towards the second floor.

Putting Rohan down for a nap took a bit longer than Korra had anticipated. He insisted on showing her every knew toy he had acquired since her last visit, made numerous excuses for a glass of water, or to be read book after book, before finally conking out when Pema sang him a quiet lullaby, gently rocking him in a chair, rubbing small circles along his back.

Korra pulled the blankets of Rohan's bed up to his neck, gently ruffling his hair, before pressing a light kiss to his forehead. Rohan smiled before gently shutting his eyes, quickly drifting off to sleep. Pema and Korra tiptoed out of the room, closing the door quietly behind him.

It was then Korra noticed how tired Pema looked. Over the years, she gained a grey streak in her hair, and Korra noticed, she would often get tired and run down pretty quickly. However, the woman never stopped smiling or raving about her children. Pema raised a finger to her lips and motioned for Korra to follow her back downstairs, through the house, and then onto the back patio. Pema seated herself on a couch, facing the house so she could peer into the window and watch her children eating their lunch at the kitchen table. Korra sat in a chair, adjacent to her, turning to the side and resting her neck and legs along the armrests.

"So, what'd you need to talk to me about?" Pema asked, making herself comfortable.

Korra laughed. "Am I that easy to read?" she asked.

"Yes, and I hate to tell you this, but you're a pretty bad liar as well."

"I didn't mean to bother you on your day off from the garden."

"Working at the garden is more of a hobby." Pema shrugged. She grabbed a pillow from the middle of the couch and leaned forward, placing it behind the small of her back. "I love spending time with my children, you know that. And you too, of course. It is no problem at all." She leaned back, and crossed one leg over the other. "So, what's been going on?"

"A lot," Korra muttered. "I'm in over my head and I don't know what to do." Pema nodded and motioned for Korra to continue. "First things first, Kuvira is pregnant."

"She is?" Pema's eyebrows rose. "Wow."

"I know. I went with her to the doctor the other day," Korra admitted. She glanced up at the sky, a Painted Bunting flew overhead, adding a dazzling streak of color to the blue sky. "It really puts a lot of things into perspective."

"Is she doing okay?" Pema asked. "How far along is she?"

"Kuvira's a fighter, so she's doing as well as she forces herself to be, I guess." Korra shrugged. "She's about three-four months, I guess. They went by weeks. I personally find that to be too confusing. Just go by months and everything will be easier," she said with an eye roll.

Pema chuckled softly, shaking her head. "They go by weeks to make it easier to follow the baby's growth." She cleared her throat, shifting on the couch so that her elbow rested along the back. She curled her hand into a fists and propped the side of her head against her knuckles. "If she needs anything, tell her I'm more than willing to talk to her or to help."

"That'd be great, especially since she's shying away from Su right now."

"She hasn't told Su?"

"Not yet," Korra admitted. "However, I'm sure she will soon. She's trying to find a good time to get her and Baatar Jr. together to break the news. But, when Baatar Jr. is caught up on a project, it's hard to catch his focus," she explained. "However, it is Kuvira, and he's been known to stop doing whatever it is he's doing to tend to her. So, I'm sure the news will come out soon."

"But, Su works at the college and-"

Korra sighed hard, reaching up to rub her temples. A frown pulled at the corners of her lips. "Asami pulled some strings so that Kuvira could go to a private doctor and-"

"What's wrong?" Pema interrupted.

"What do you mean?"

"You had some pained look on your face when you mentioned Asami's name," she answered. Korra winced, turning her head away. "Yeah, like that."

"It's…really complicated."

"Something else happened?" Korra nodded. "Well, I'm all ears."

Korra sat up in the chair, placing her feet on the ground. She leaned forward, resting her forearms on her knees, clasping her hands together. Korra began to bounce her leg up and down. "You know most of the story, but Asami caught me and Kuvira attempting to slip a note underneath her dorm door, and I told her that Kuvira was the one sending her the notes."

"Oh, Korra," Pema sighed.

"I know, it was stupid, and then they went on a date, and apparently it went so well that they're thinking of going out." Korra shrugged. She ran a hand through her hair, fidgeting with the elastic holding the wolf tail at the crown of her head, slightly loosening the hard pull.

"Wait…but she's dating Baatar."

"Used to, apparently." Korra shrugged. "I'm not too sure about their status. Sometimes they're together, and sometimes they fight and go on breaks." She half smiled. "There's never a dull moment between the two of them."

"But, she's pregnant with his child."

"And no one else knows, except for me and you," Korra pointed out. She then snapped her fingers, tapping her chin. "Although, she probably told Asami just to let her know what she may eventually get into," she pondered.

"Why?" Pema asked.

Korra blinked. "So Asami doesn't find out by surprise."

"No." Pema couldn't help but titter at the response. "Why did you lie and say Kuvira was writing he notes?"

"It was a spur of the moment decision." Korra ran a hand over her face, groaning lightly. "A dumb one, and now it's too late to take it back." She cleared her throat, blinking hard as a pinch burned the back of her eyes. "It may even be worse than…"

"….you accidentally killing her father," she supplied.

Korra flinched. She wrung her hands together, shifting her gaze to the ground. "Murdering," she corrected.

Pema inhaled sharply, catching Korra's attention. The older woman sat up straight, pulling her lips into a straight line. "Korra, is that why won't…you really think you're a…Korra, no."

"I can't help how I feel, Pema," Korra answer, a tear spilling down her cheek. She hastily brushed it away, reaching up and pressing on the inside corners of her eyes with her thumb and index finger. "Being with Asami makes me happy, the happiest I've ever felt, and yet I also feel sick to my stomach and the worst person alive, all at the same time."

Pema patted the space on the couch next to her. Korra instantly got up and sat down, curling herself into the older woman's side. "Why do you put yourself through this torture?" Pema asked, wrapping her arms around Korra.

"Because, she's going to leave at the end of the school year, and will graduate and become the official CEO of Future Industries," Korra sniffed, "…and will forget all about me."

"Not if you're as close as you say you are." Pema tilted her head to the side, resting her cheek along the top of Korra's head. "If Asami is in love with you, like she says she is with Avatar157, then this whole thing will end up going bad before it gets better," she said gently.

"I've thought of all of my options, and this is for the best. Asami deserves to be happy, and when I tell her, it will crush her."

Pema tensed up before exhaling slowly through her nose. She wrapped her arms tighter around Korra, rubbing small circles on her back. "Korra, have you forgiven yourself for the accident?"

"What?" Korra asked in a quiet voice. Pema gently cupped Korra's chin, lifting her head so that she looked directly into the girl's face.

"You can't bring yourself to apologize to Asami because you haven't forgiven yourself yet. How will you be able to have a relationship if you can be one way with her, and then a shadow of yourself away from her?" she questioned. "You say you didn't want to ruin your friendship with her by being together, but with this secret, if she is really you're friend, she'll find a way to be in your life no matter what."

"Pema-"

"No, Korra, listen," she said firmly. Korra swallowed and nodded. It was one thing to try and talk herself out of a situation, but Pema used her mom voice, and from past experience both from her and her own mother, she knew not to say anything else. "I'm not trying to lecture you, far from it. I love you, I care about your wellbeing, and I want you to hear this. I'm sure, Kuvira has tried to get through your stubbornness, but this is something than hearing it from a friend."

"Okay."

"You made a mistake." Pema declared. "Okay? A mistake, and it came with a huge consequence. You were in and out of the hospital and physical therapy for years. You can walk again, when the doctors didn't think you would. Hiroshi Sato gave you a chance to live your life and this is how you repay him?" she asked. "Why are you doing this to yourself?"

"Because, with everything that's happened, Asami deserves to be happy." Korra closed her eyes as Pema wiped away her tears and little bit of mucous with the side of her hand. "I want her to be happy."

"Her happiness right now, though, is a lie."

"She seems to be pretty happy to me when she's with Kuvira," Korra answered with a bit of bite. Pema couldn't help but laugh through her nose at the childish tone the girl had taken.

"Then maybe they can find some connection from this and actually get along, I can't fault you on that." Pema admitted. "But, you're stopping her from her true happiness which is you. And her to you…" she slowly trailed off as a look of understanding flashed across her face. "Unless…you don't think you deserve to be happy. Or loved."

"I took away her family," Korra whimpered. "I know they fought a lot, or didn't see eye to eye, but Asami loved her father. He was the only family she had left."

"She has you." Pema smiled. "Family isn't just blood, it's also strong bonds. You're my family, and Ikki, Jinora, Meelo, and Rohan's sister, at least to them."

"That's sweet." Korra offered a watery smile.

"Think about it. Without the friends you made here when you first arrived in Republic City, would you have stayed or gone back home?" she pressed. "Your friends are your family and it made being away from your mom and dad in the South much easier for you to handle." Pema took a hold of Korra's hands, grabbing them tightly. "Ultimately, Korra, I have to ask, what's more important to you: your state of being, or Asami's?"

"…I just don't know Pema," Korra admitted. "I know that, in my life, I should be the most important, but I made a promise to Asami's dad that I'd look after her and make sure that everything is okay…maybe I'm failing that too…"

"I know that you're not a spiritual person, but maybe, it could something you look into?" she Pema suggested.

"Maybe." Korra pulled out her cell phone checking the time. "Thank you for listening, Pema. I heard every word you said, really." She smiled and gave the older woman a tight hug.

"Anytime, and I mean that." Pema cupped Korra's cheek in her palm. "Just think about it. Holding this much grief can be damaging to your health, both physically and mentally."

"I understand. I should head out. I have an urge to go for a swim since practice will be starting up in a few days when it starts up again after Thanksgiving Break."

"Make sure you say goodbye to Rohan before you go," Pema gently ordered as she stood up and stretched. "His nap should be over by now." She flicked her wrist, glancing at the face of her watch. "We've been talking longer than I thought, and my children have been quiet…" She paused. "A little too quiet now that I think about it."

Upon re-entering the house, Pema had found Jinora reading her book in the kitchen. While in actuality, she was texting behind the pages, and instantly dropped her phone into her lap when Pema walked into the room. Korra sent her a knowing smile, causing Jinora to blush, as they turned to look for the other children. Korra entered Rohan's room as he woke up from his nap, and played a few games with him as Pema found Meelo and Ikki in his room, about to paint on his bedroom walls.

She smartly bid her farewells as Pema began to scold her children for attempting to paint the walls, and becoming frustrated that Jinora wasn't watching the two of them. Korra hummed to herself as she stepped out of the front door and headed down the sidewalk towards the road. She stuffed her hands into her pockets, blinking rapidly as tears filled her eyes from the bitter wind. She focused on the rhythm of her breathing, the steady pace of her steps as she made her way back towards the college campus.

_Pema is right…everyone has been right…and yet, I don't want to be the reason for Asami's world to come down. I may be the last person she can really trust, the last person she has…but what if I make her close herself off? She's always worried about being alone, what if I really make her alone?_

_That's what you've been doing stupid! With your idea of pushing Kuvira onto her, and then avoiding her at all cost, she's going to wind up alone. You were there for her while in the hospital. You were there for her while going through physical therapy and recovery for two years, while she was still in school trucking along. You were there for her behind a computer screen and in handwritten notes that she printed and kept._

_It's time to make a decision. You almost told her one. Hiding isn't going to help anything. Maybe, you could start slowly? Just, start to hang out with her again, make things go back to normal. Just be her friend, the one she always had. That's all she really needs right now._

Minutes later, as Korra continued to follow the main road towards campus she slowly came upon a large crowd. Part of her wanted to pass on by, but another part controlled her feet, forcing her closer to the group. Pushing people to the side, she made her way to the front, finally noting the caution tape, orange cones, road flares lining the area.

Korra swallowed hard when she spotted a car practically wrapped around a tree on the side of the road. Smoke poured out from underneath the hood. Glass littered the street. Papers, a dog's leash, some dog food, a sports bag, and a few stray articles of clothing were scattered along the ground in either direction.

Korra watched as two firemen pulled the limp body out of the car. The woman's dark brown hair hung in the air, almost touching the ground, her clothes were tattered and torn, blood seeping through the soft fabric. Her right ankle was swollen, raging a dark purple.

"Go get an oxygen mask," one of the firemen ordered as the two gently placed the woman onto the ground. "And, a stretcher."

Korra fought with the crowd, pushing her way closer to the accident. As an EMT passed her, rushing towards an ambulance, she got a clear view of the woman lying on the ground. Her blue eyes slowly opened, staring up at the sky. The curve of her chin, the slight plumpness to her cheeks, the bulging muscles of her arms and legs, and the blue armband with the water tribe symbol caused Korra to freeze in place.

"That's…me…?" she whispered. The Korra on the ground slowly shifted her eyes to look at her. The minute their gaze locked, Korra felt a chill run down her spine, as the injured Korra's eyes turned a dazzling white.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sure some of you are getting frustrated with Korra still not telling Asami the truth. This story is actually almost over, so it'll happen sooner than you think. Just hang in there. Especially for the next chapter or two because I have something coming up that I'm sure you all will be excited to read ;)
> 
>  
> 
> [knocking-down-hesitation.tumblr.com](http://knocking-down-hesitation.tumblr.com)


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Korra is run down from studying for finals, and Asami knows the perfect way to cheer her up. A swim out at her family's private secret spot...

"Are you coming Korra?" Opal asked, lightly tapping her on the head. Korra groaned loudly before rolling over, pulling her sheets up tightly around her neck. "It's the biggest party of the summer."

"The biggest party of the summer is happening behind my eyelids right now," she muttered in response. "Let me sleep."

"Korra, you start university in a few months." Opal grabbed at the sheets, trying to tug them out of her friend's grasp. She grunted with exertion as Korra held on tight. Opal let out a cry of surprise as Korra rolled over, pulling the sheets above her head, moving Opal along with her. In retaliation, Opal smacked her on her backside. "Live a little. Are you going to sleep your entire summer away?"

"Yes!"

"This is ridiculous," Opal panted. She wiped her forehead free of sweat before taking a few steps back. Crossing her arms over her chest, she huffed, blowing her bangs out of her face. "Just because you declared that yu thought you were meant for each other-"

"I didn't declare anything, I publically humiliated myself, for one," Korra shouted. She raised a finger high in the air, poking up from underneath the sheets. "I don't know why I listened to Pema. Telling him was a mistake. And number two," she raised a second finger into the air, "there's no way I'd be able to face him again… _and_ Asami. I mean, she's one of my closest friends, maybe _the_ closest, and they're dating, so now I'm sure he'll tell her and things will be even more complicated and-"

"Mako isn't going."

Korra paused, giving time for Opal's words to sink in. While she did feel some embarrassment from the other day, she didn't feel saddened or upset that he wasn't attending the party, which confused her even more. The last time she had liked someone was when she was around thirteen, back in the South Pole. He was the son of one of the guards protecting her family.

The two only talked when at big events for her father's position as chief of the tribe, but she found that she liked his company and that he gave her his attention whenever they were together. Eventually she developed a crush on him and was excited to find that he wanted to take her to a movie one day. In the back of her mind, she was sure her mother had planted the movie idea in his head, but she was happy nonetheless.

When the day had finally arrived, he had to cancel because his family has to do business outside of the tribe for the day. Korra quickly brushed it off, not wanting to cause a scene, but on the inside she had felt like she was punched in the stomach, like all of the happiness was instantly flushed out of her body. Her mother was quick to notice Korra being quieter than usual and tried to explain why she was feeling the way she was – which caused Korra to want to rip her ears off since she was always uncomfortable talking about the human body, especially hers – and yet all Korra wanted to do was be left alone…and punch something.

The feeling of being indirectly turned down didn't reoccur when Opal said those three words. Normally, her stomach would twist and turn and her body would suddenly feel heavy. And yet, she felt perfectly fine. In fact, the only thing bothering her right now was the sudden burn and straining of her bladder.

Korra rolled back over on the bed and poked her head out from underneath the sheets. "He's not?" she asked.

"No, he's studying for some exam to take to get into a higher level Criminology class," Opal answered with a shrug.

"This whole thing was his idea."

"So, what?" Opal reached up and rubbed the middle of her forehead. "Now you're not going because _he's_ not going?" she demanded. "Give me a break, Korra. That's just stupid."

"Opal-"

"Sorry, for being abrasive but that's not like you. It's not like the Korra I know," Opal said, the stiffness disappearing from her voice. "It's obvious that you like him, and it's even more obvious that you're jealous that he and Asami are dating, but they are and you shouldn't stop being friends with them," she paused, throwing her arms up in the air, "…with _all of us_ because of it."

"I'm _not_ jealous that they're together, Opal," Korra answered, her voice slightly higher than usual. "I just have some…meditating to do."

"You hate meditating. Heck, you hate being quiet," Opal reminded her, smiling softly. "Come on, don't worry about them. It's the summer. Live a little."

After a few moments, Korra sighed hard. She may not have known Opal for that long, however, something she picked up quickly was that once the young girl got an idea in her head, it would take a lot to get it out. When Opal is passionate or head strong about something, she will exhaust all of her resources to try and get what she wants until she knows there is no other option. "Okay, fine." Korra threw her covers off of her and got up out of bed before crossing the room, flinging open her closet.

"And, to be honest, I don't think they're going to last much longer," Opal commented.

"What?" Korra shouted. She gasped and quickly clasped a hand over her mouth. A few moments later a loud wail erupted down the hallway. She opened the bedroom door and muttered an apology to Pema who scurried towards the baby's cries. During the summer, Korra would stay in Republic City with Pema, Tenzin, and their children. "What do you mean?" she asked.

"Asami told me." Opal walked over to Korra who had pulled a tank top and a pair of shorts out of her closet. She leaned against the wall, pointing to a pair of shoes that she felt would go with her clothing. "…she isn't feeling it with him anymore. She just kind of feels like they're friends but have the dating label put on top of them," Opal answered.

"She didn't tell me," Korra muttered. _What are you, jealous? Asami can talk to whomever she wants._ "Well, then maybe she'll be able to figure everything out today with him staying behind." She threw her tank top and shorts on over her pajamas, before slipping out of her pajamas, and taking them off without having to undress.

"Oh, she's not coming either," Opal answered with a shrug.

"What?" Korra shouted again. She flinched when she heard two other bedroom doors open. During the summer, Pema would try her hardest to have her children sleep for as long as they wanted during the summer, so as she would get some more time to herself in the mornings.

"Yeah, her dad needs her to help at Future Industries today."

"Oh," Korra said sadly. "Okay." Her happiness instantly faded, her stomach churning. She quickly turned away, searching for her phone, but not before Opal made a face that was a cross between confusion, and amusement.

_So she had to bail, what's the big deal? People do tend to get busy. Geez, Korra! You're acting like a puppy, or someone who can't spend time with their-_

And then it hit her.

_…girlfriend…_

"Oh," she whispered. "…Well, that's new."

"Korra," Opal said, waving a hand in her face. "Korra!"

"Korra!"

"What?" Korra jumped in her seat. She winced as her elbow collided with the side of the table she was sitting at in the cafeteria. Rubbing her burning eyes with her wrists, she blinked hard, looking up to see Asami and Kuvira standing over her. They were holding hands, and while Asami looked comfortable, Kuvira looked as if she wanted to curl up and die on the spot.

"I was going to ask if you're doing okay, but I just got my answer," Asami frowned, dropping her tray of food onto the table. She quickly sat down next to Korra, before reaching over and placing a hand on her forehead. Korra froze at the warm touch to her skin. Her hands began to shake, a cold sweat forming on the back of her neck. Korra squeezed her eyes shut, silently begging for her body not to sweat on Asami's palm. "Are you sick?"

"No, I'm just tired," Korra rasped, pushing Asami's hand away, quickly missing the contact. "I've been up studying for finals." Kuvira sat in the seat next to Asami and began to eat her food. She winced, frowning the moment the food touched her tongue, but she continued to eat anyway.

"So, that's where you've disappeared to," Asami said with a nod. She picked up her fork and began to eat her lunch. Korra cleaned up her space, placing her trash on her tray. "I thought you were avoiding me."

"No, of course not," Korra insisted.

_That's a lie. It's obvious._

"In fact, I assumed you'd be really busy with your senior project and Future Industries prep," Korra added.

_That is true. I am busy with both things, and yet I still try to make time for my friends. If you were around, you'd know that._

"Also, you're with Kuvira so…"

_So that's it._ Asami turned towards Kuvira and half-smiled. Kuvira continued to eat her food, but sent her a quick wink in response. Ever since the two had come up with their plan to make Korra jealous, things have seemed to be progressing in the direction they anticipated. When ever Asami would mention a text or phonecall from Kuvira to Korra, or would have to cancel some plans to go out on a "date", Korra's mood would instantly shift and she'd be much quieter than she normally would be.

"So, I thought we were still friends," Asami pointed out. "I mean, sure, we're both busier now, but you're still the first person I tell everything to, and whom I call when I need a late night snack run."

"Of course we're still friends," Korra insisted with so much force that a little bit of spittle dipped onto the table. She flushed brightly, wiping her lips on the sleeve of her jacket. Kuvira snorted. Asami leaned over and pinched her lightly on the arm. "Why wouldn't we be?"

_Take it back, Asami, before you really insult her._ "I'm just teasing you, Korra," Asami turned to face Kuvira, hoping to get her to say something, but stopped when she noticed crumbs along her jaw line. "Oh, Kuvira, you have something on your chin." Asami plucked a napkin out of the dispenser on the table, dipped it into her glass of water, and then ran it along Kuvira's chin. "There you go."

Kuvira tensed up, pausing mid-chew. She looked over at Korra, who watched the two of them closely, before forcing up a smile. "Thank you, Asami. I appreciate it."

Korra loudly cleared her throat before pushing her chair back and standing up. She grabbed her empty tray, the tips of her fingers turning white from the force of her grip. "…Well, I have to go and get back to studying." Korra spotted Baatar Jr. from across the cafeteria, plucking an apple from a round container. She looked over at Kuvira, tilting her head to the side. "May we talk later?" she asked quietly.

"She already knows about the baby," Kuvira said, following Baatar Jr. with her eyes as he exited the room.

"Oh," Korra muttered. She repositioned the tray in her hands. "Well in that case, how is Baatar Jr. handling all of…this?" she asked, glancing in between Asami and Kuvira. Kuvira relaxed in her chair, leaning back and crossed a leg over the other. She rested her hands on her knees. Asami quickly reached out and held one of her hands. A smile slowly formed onto Korra's face, when she spotted the gesture.

"He's doing great," Kuvira answered. She looked over at Asami and smiled once more, squeezing her hand.

"That's great," Korra breathed. She glanced down at her watch, before whistling quietly. "I'll catch you two later then." With that she sped-walked over to the tray return conveyor belt, dropped her items onto it, and then excited the cafeteria. The minute the doors closed, Kuvira pulled her hand out of Asami's grip, rubbing her palm along her pant leg.

"How _is_ Baatar Jr. handling all of this?" Asami asked as she began to eat her food.

"I told him truth that I'm 'dating' you to get you and Korra together." Kuvira lifted her hands and made air-quotes around the word, dating. "He thought it was funny." She smirked.

"That you're trying to help set me and Korra up?"

"No, that I'm willingly dating you." Kuvira sneered. Asami rolled her eyes, but smiled at the response. While she and Kuvira still didn't get along too much, since Kuvira had shared her pregnancy secrert and they started fake dating, they have reached some common footing. Their conversations are becoming easier to start and don't feel as forced.

"Shut up," Asami giggled. "Does he know about the baby?"

"Yes, that's probably what Korra wanted to talk about." Kuvira made a look of discomfort before placing a hand over her abdomen. "I told Korra right after I told him and Su. They handled it better than I had anticipated," she answered quietly. "Su is even taking me out shopping later today so I can get some things for…" she trailed off.

Asami looked over her shoulders, double checking to make sure no one was sitting at a tble near them, before leaning over and dropping her voice. "The baby," she filled in. Kuvira looked over at her with a raised eyebrow. It had surprised her, still does sometimes, that Asami was as supportive about anything that had to do with the baby. In the chance that they had planned a fake date and Kuvira wasn't feeling up to it, Asami would cancel right away.

"I still can't say it," Kuvira admitted.

"Well, if Su and Baatar Jr.'s reactions are any indication, then I know things will be just fine," Asami said with a soft smile.

"And things with you and Korra still aren't," she pointed out. "We've been fake dating for weeks now and she's handling things better than I expected."

Asami huffed. "If you had just acted more into me like I had suggested-"

"Please," Kuvira snorted, crossing her arms over her chest. "I don't even really let Baatar kiss me on the cheek." She licked her lips, pulling them into a straight line. "I think she is jealous. I mean, why else would she leave as quickly as she did?"

"That's true," Asami pointed out. "She did the exact same thing when Mako and I dated. Always, making an excuse as to why she couldn't hang out with us."

"In that case, why don't you take her somewhere to get her mind off of her finals?" Kuvira asked. "I mean, clearly she looks run down. She needs some fun." Kuvira winced and placed a hand onto her chest. "Plus, I don't think I'm going to feel too good tonight."

"You don't have to pretend, we didn't even set up a fake date tonight," Asami commented.

"No, I'm seriously not feeling too good." Kuvira jumped up, placing a hand over her mouth. "Excuse me," she muttered before heading towards the cafeteria's exit.

\---

While she still looked exhausted, Korra's eyes glowed brightly with excitement. Asami was able to coax her to come out for the night with her to take a break from studying. It didn't take too much to convince her, all Asami had mentioned was that she'd be fed and to bring a bathing suit and towel. However, Korra soon grew skeptical on the drive to the secret destination since Asami was driving them deeper and deep into thick woods.

"How do I know you aren't planning on kidnapping me and leaving me out here in an old log cabin?" Korra asked, breaking the silence. During the trip up, she had remained quiet, only speaking when Asami would asks her a question, although her answers were still very short. She would constantly glance at her cell phone or tense up and focus on something out of the car window every few minutes.

"If I were, why would I let you see where we were going?" Asami asked. She had her left elbow propped up on the car door, gripping the steering wheel with one hand. "I would have blindfolded you so you wouldn't know which way is up," she answered, playfully sticking out her tongue.

Korra looked over at her in surprise before laughing and snapping her fingers. "I knew it."

"What?"

"It's always the nice ones who are the most evil," Korra commented. She crossed her arms over her chest. "How many skeletons do you have in your closet?" she asked.

_Does secretly being in love with, and that I know your true identity, and I'm not dating Kuvira, count?_ "Just one," Asami answered as she slowed the car to a stop at the end of the dirt road. She shut off the engine before tucking the keys into her pocket. "We're here."

"What's here?" Korra asked, climbing out of the car. She shut the door and jumped when a bird flew off of a nearby branch. Asami quickly moved to the trunk of the car and pulled out their two sports bags. Korra received hers, slinging it over her shoulder as Asami twirled the car keys around her finger.

"My secret spot," she announced. Asami turned on her heel and led Korra through the woods, their footsteps crunching loudly over the dried leaves. "Well, it's a family secret spot. While it is early December, the water here is warm."

"So all of the forest animals pee here?" Korra asked. Her hands were tucked into her back pockets. She laughed through her nose, lightly elbowing Asami in her side.

"Korra, that's gross!" Asami laughed.

"It's probably true!" Korra slowed to a stop as they reached the edge of the woods and stepped along the edge of a small cliff. She peered over the side, down at the water. The waves crashed alongside the face of the small cliff. Korra then looked to her right and spotted a small beach of rocks and sand. She let out a high pitched screamed when Asami grabbed her by the shoulders and jostled her forward and backward. "That's not funny," Korra insisted, fighting against the smile that wanted to form on her face. "The water may be relatively calm, but jeans get really heavy when wet."

With that, Korra quickly shed her jacket and tossed it to the ground. Underneath, she was wearing a light blue sports bra style bathing suit top, which stood out against her dark skin. Asami quickly turned away to give Korra some privacy as she changed, but not before catching a glimpse of her chiseled abdomen.

Asami felt her heartbeat spike when she noticed how ripped Korra was. Although, it wasn't like she hadn't noticed. In fact, it was one of the first things Asami had paid attention to when they had first met. Although, at that point, she had chalked her fascination up to the idea that she was impressed a woman could rival a man in how fit someone could be.

It wasn't until Asami heard a really loud splash, that she turned around and noticed Korra had eagerly jumped into the water. While her jacket was on the ground, Korra's jeans were tossed haphazardly in a bush, and one of her shoes as strung up in a low branch of a tree. Asami gathered up her items and placed them into a neat pile before tiptoeing over to the edge of the cliff.

"Aren't you coming?" Korra called up.

Asami bit her bottom lip, shaking her head. "I'm not that strong of a swimmer," she shouted back. "This is just for you. Don't worry about me. Enjoy yourself."

"Come on; I'm right here." Korra swam backward a few yards. "You'll be fine. I promise." She turned her head away as a huge wave crashed over her shoulders. "I'll catch you."

Asami shivered, although she wasn't sure if it was from the cold or the idea of being wrapped up in Korra's strong arms. Asami had decided to wear her bathing suit underneath her clothing, like Korra had done. She hadn't planned on going swimming with her, but with how mischievous Korra could be, especially around water, she wanted to be prepared just in case.

Asami shivered against the cool, crisp air as she slipped out of her clothing. After neatly folding them up and putting them into a nice and neat pile, she walked slowly over towards the edge of the small cliff, peering over the side. She pulled her long hair back and out of her face as the wind blew. Korra looked up at her from the water, smiling brightly before swimming up closer to the cliff, but at a safe enough distance so Asami would land on top of her.

The spray of the water sprinkled across Asami's cheeks. She clasped her hands together, tucking them underneath her chin as she toed the edge of the rock. Glancing over the edge once more, she looked down at Korra, noting her reassuring head nod, before taking a deep breath and jumping off of the edge. The minute she landed in the water, Asami felt Korra's hands grip her underneath her armpits and pulling her up towards the surface.

Upon emerging, Asami found herself looking directly into Korra's bright eyes. She turned her head away, brushing some strands of her hair out of her face so that Korra wouldn't see how red her cheeks were turning.

"To tread, move your feet as if you're walking," Korra instructed quietly. "Also, move your hands in a circular motion." She waited patiently as Asami followed her instructions. "This way, you won't tire yourself out too quickly."

"This helps," Asami said, warmth washing over her. She wasn't entirely sure if it was from the warm water or from Korra's worry over her well being. Korra placed her hands onto Asami's shoulders, forcing her to still. _Korra is also a lifeguard during the summer, Asami, so this could easily just be her instinctively looking out for me._ "Thank y-"

Korra reached out and placed a hand on top of Asami's head, pressing firmly until she was submerged underneath the water. Asami thrashed, her foot colliding with Korra's ripped abdomen as she clamped her mouth shut, but not before a little bit of the salty water flowed past her lips. She blew hard out of her nose before reaching out, grabbing a hold of Korra's arm underneath the water, using her as leverage to pull herself up.

"Korra," Asami sputtered as she resurfaced. She shot her a glare while running her fingers through her hair, brushing her damp locks out of her face. Korra chuckled, placing a hand over her mouth, trying to stifle her laughter. "That wasn't funny."

Asami watched, her lips pursed, as Korra struggled to catch her breath. She began to kick her legs harder, trying to keep herself afloat when she felt her body begin to sink a bit. Korra immediately sobered up and moved forward, placing an arm around Asami's waist, pressing her into her side. "I didn't do it on purpose," Korra insisted. "I just didn't think you saw the wave coming."

"Well, I didn't do _this_ on purpose." Asami swiped her hand across the surface of the water, splashing Korra in the face. She threw her head back and laughed as a wave came up at the same time, crashing over her head and shoulders. "That was good timing on my part."

"Asami, come here," Korra said calmly. She turned and looked at the raven-haired girl, her face stoic, but her blue eyes danced with mischief. Asami instantly spotted the changed and attempted to tread backward, not moving very quickly against the water.

"No, Korra, don't," Asami squealed, moving onto her back, tying to swim away. She knew that her retreat was futile; Korra was the university's swim team captain for a reason. However, she liked how carefree and happy Korra seemed and didn't want it to end anytime soon. For the first time since Asami had mentioned that she was interested in finding Aatar157 their friendship felt normal again.

Asami screamed when she felt Korra's hand wrap around her ankle, her nails trailing along the bottom of her foot. Korra pulled Asami back toward her, careful to keep her head above water, to make sure she didn't accidentally swallow any, before splashing her directly in the face. Asami wiped her face, careful not to smudge her makeup.

"Oh, wait," Korra said, pulling Asami close, placing her hands on her shoulders once more, keeping her in place.

Asami scoffed before grabbing Korra's wrists, pulling her hands off. She flicked her head, trying to get a few wet strands of hair out of her face. "Korra, I'm not falling for it again."

"No, you have something in your hair." Korra rolled her eyes. She reached her hand up once more, looking directly at Asami, reassuring her, before plucking a twig and a few small pieces of foliage out of her dark locks. "See?" Korra held up the items.

"Oh," Asami said quietly. She gently rocked with the movement of the waves, curling herself up closer to Korra when she felt herself slipping underneath the water. "…thank you."

"You're welcome," Korra answered with a soft smile. She brushed a clump of Asami's hair out of her face, tucking it behind her ear. Asami squirmed away, burying her face into Korra's neck. For some reason, which Korra still wasn't told, Asami hated to have her ears touched, which fascinated Korra to no end since she knew that Asami had her ear lobes pierced as well as numerous piercings up into her cartiledged. Although, Asami hardly ever wore more than one pair of earrings at one time since being groomed to take over Future Industries. It had something to do with PR and marketing, which caused Korra's head to hurt every time Asami attempted to explain.

"Thanks for taking me out here." Korra's voice sent vibrations through her neck and into Asami's face. Her chin moved along the ridge of Asami's nose, before she pulled her head up, glancing into Korra's face. "I haven't felt this relaxed in a long time. Years."

Korra brushed some more hair back behind Asami's ear, but instead of removing her hand, she ended up cupping Asami's cheek, gently running her thumb across her cheekbone. Asami leaned her face into Korra's palm, before placing her hand on top of Korra's interlocking their fingers.

Another wave came up; pushing against Asami's back, moving her closer against Korra. Their lips lightly brushed against each other. All sound around them ceased to exist. The waves continued to crash along the shore, but they weren't accompanied by a loud roar. The sound that reached Asami's ears was Korra's rapidly breathing and the increase of her heartbeat.

Asami's eyelids flickered close as she felt Korra's breath on her upper lip. She wasn't sure if she moved, Korra moved, or the roughness of the waves pushed them together, but Asami found her lips pressed hard against Korra's in a tight embrace. Feeling Korra's strong arms wrap around her waist, Asami ran a hand up into Korra's hair at the base of her neck, lightly running her nails against her scalp. Korra hummed in response, tilting her head to the side, and capturing Asami's bottom lip. Asami smiled into the kiss, wrapping an arm around Korra's neck.

She lifted her legs and latched onto Korra so that she wouldn't have to continue to tread water to stay afloat. Asami removed her hand from Korra's hair, trailing it down her face, pressing her forearms against Korra's collarbones. Slowly pulling away, she quickly caught her breath before Korra pressed a kiss to her lips, and another, and another. Their numerous pecks formed into another long embrace.

Asami ignored the burn raising in her chest from lack of oxygen, but found herself crying out at the loss of contact when Korra suddenly pulled away, moving her lips into a straight line. Asami slowly opened her eyes, confusion tugging at her eyebrows, as she fought to catch her breath. Korra hastily unwrapped Asami's legs from around her waist, pulling her hands away, slowly backing up.

"Korra?" Asami asked. She moved to follow Korra, sighing happily when she felt her toes brush along the sand bottom of the shore.

"…I'm-"

_Oh no! Don't say it. Don't you dare say it._

"No," Asami interrupted. She slowly shook her head. "Please…"

"I'm sorry," Korra whimpered. Her blue eyes widened, her gaze shifting over Asami's shoulder. Asami reached out to grab Korra's face, trying to force her attention back onto herself. Korra blinked hard, taking a shaky breath. Korra swallowed, moving her blue eyes to look at Asami. "I'm just…I'm sorry." She reached up and removed Asami's hands from her face. She flipped onto her stomach and began to rapidly swim towards shore.

"Korra!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know what you're thinking, and no, this is not going to turn into Kuvirasami and Kuvirasami will not happen in a romantic sense, only a platonic/friendship sense.
> 
> [knocking-down-hesitation.tumblr.com](http://knocking-down-hesitation.tumblr.com)


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Korra comes to a realization about her relationship with Asami...

Korra sighed hard, wiping the water off of her forehead; although, it could have easily been sweat. She wasn't too sure. After kissing Asami (or Asami kissing her; she was still internally debating on the actual outcome) Korra saw the vision again. The other her, the bloody and injured her. She was just floating there, watching them, leering with her cold empty white eyes.

While Asami begged for her to stay, Korra had to leave. She couldn't face Asami and her massive guilt. Hearing her friend desperately calling her name over the crashing waves tugged at her heart, but her guilt won out. As soon as she touched sand, she broke out into a run, back up towards the cliffs and changed into her clothing in record time. Without stopping to take a breather, she bolted past the car and down the dirt path. Her lungs were on fire, the cold weather biting at her cheeks.

A few moments later, she heard footsteps rapidly approaching from behind. While she knew Asami was a runner, Korra didn't think that she would have been able to catch up to her so quickly or as easily. Turning to look over her shoulder, she lost her footing and tripped over a small cluster of tree roots that broke ground. Korra quickly held her hands out to catch herself. Pain erupted in her knees caps and her wrists as she toppled over.

Groaning, Korra sat up, rubbing her right wrist with her left hand, when she spotted a pair of shoes standing in front of her. Slowly lifting her head, she swallowed hard when she noticed

_You can try, but you won't be able to out run me. Ever,_ the vision snickered. _Not until you tell her the truth._

It was at that point, Korra heard tires creeping along the dirt road. A moment later the headlights from Asami's satomobile appeared. Korra turned her attention back in front of her but found the vision gone. Asami had insisted that she give Korra a ride back to the dorms. Korra desperately wanted to decline, to give herself time to think up an excuse, a reason as to why she bolted, but the chilly weather along with her wet clothing forced her to accept the invitation.

The car ride was quiet and uncomfortable. The only time either of them talked as when Asami would as if Korra was warm enough, and Korra apologizing for getting the passenger seat's upholstery wet since they were a towel short. Asami insisted that it wasn't a problem, and their short conversation ended there. Korra could tell that Asami was working up the courage to mention what had previously happened, but she pretended to be engrossed in an important email on her phone to give her attention.

By the time they arrived back on campus, Korra practically bolted from the car, offering up a word of thanks over her shoulder as she rushed towards Kuvira's room. Pausing to catch her breath, she caught her reflection in a nearby mirror. As her breathing evened out, she spotted the familiar white eyes. This time, however, the vision wasn't reflected of when she was in the car accident, it looked exactly how she looked now: hunched over, her hands on her knees.

Kuvira's door opened, and she paused when she spotted Korra staring off down the hallway. Leaning out, she tried to catch a glimpse of what her friend was looking at before crying out in shock when Kuvira straightened up, grabbed her by the shoulders, and pushed her back into the room.

"Watch it!" Kuvira shouted as she caught herself before toppling over. Korra slammed the door shut, triple checking that it was locked, before moving a desk chair to the middle of the room and pushing Kuvira down into it. "I'm pregnant, remember?"

"We kissed," Korra announced, beginning to pace around the room.

Kuvira titled her head to the side, an eyebrow raised. "No, we didn't," she said slowly. "I would have remembered." She then smirked. "Which doesn't look to good on your end."

"Not us, stupid!"

"I _know_!" Kuvira rolled her eyes. She reached up to scratch her nose with her left hand. "I was joking." Korra immediately stopped, one foot in the air, as she turned and looked at Kuvira with confusion. "I do that sometimes."

"Well, stop, it's weird." Korra groaned loudly, running a hand through her damp hair. She moved to wipe off the excess water onto her pant leg but then stopped, remembering that she was still a bit damp. Kuvira got up out of her seat and walked over to her closet. Plucking a towel from a high shelf, she tossed it over towards Korra, who wasn't paying attention and let it smack her in the face. "What do I do now?" She paused. "Why aren't you mad?"

Kuvira blinked. "Why would I be mad?"

"I kissed your girlfriend," Korra answered. "I helped your girlfriend cheat on you."

"That's not a problem anymore." Kuvira waved the thought away. "We broke up."

"Since when? When did this happen?"

"Right after you left to meet Asami tonight. She texted me and-"

"You broke up over text?" Korra interrupted. "She deserves to be treated better than that."

"No; she texted me saying we had to talk, so I called her." Kuvira began to twiddle her fingers. She paused to adjust a ring on her left hand, before wringing her hands together. "We both…weren't really feeling it. Besides, something else has come up that would make our relationship difficult." She shrugged nonchalantly. "It was mutual. Anyway, how did you get back here?" Kuvira asked. She slowly lowered herself onto her bed, readjusting her pillows to lean against the wall. Crossing her left hand over her right, she placed her hands into her lap.

"She drove," Korra answered, her voice muffled. She ran the towel over her hair, wringing out the excess water, before tossing it onto the now empty desk chair. Moving it over towards the bed, she turned the chair around and straddled the seat, wrapping her arms around the back rest.

"And you didn't talk about it?"

"It was too…awkward."

Kuvira lifted a shoulder. "Things are only awkward if you make them awkward."

"Well what was I supposed to say?" Korra exploded. "Sorry, I ran away after you kissed me. I just remembered I'm afraid of fish?" Kuvira let out a loud bark of laughter. She lifted her left hand to cover her mouth, her shoulders shaking.

"What's wrong with you?" Korra slowly pushed the chair back, putting some distance between the two of them.

"Hormones, apparently." Kuvira used her shirt sleeve to wipe away the tears that had gathered at the corners of her eyes.

"No, it's something else. You have a weird look on your face."

"What look?"

"You're smiling," Korra pointed out. "You never smile. Besides, my jokes aren't that funny." She peered closely at Kuvira, slowly looking her over. "What's going on?"

"You're so dense sometimes," Kuvira snapped, holding out her left hand, so that the back was directly in Korra's face. She watched in annoyance as it took Korra a few long moments to notice the diamond ring sitting on her left ring finger. "Do you get it now?"

"Oh!" Korra gasped. She smacked herself in the forehead. "I'm sorry, Vee. I should have noticed." She held out her hand, and Kuvira gently removed her engagement ring before placing it into Korra's palm. "In fact, I really should have been much more helpful and supportive instead of focusing on myself."

"No problem," she answered.

Korra stopped inspecting the ring and looked over at Kuvira in confusion. "Huh?"

"Everyone is fighting a different battle at various times." Kuvira exhaled slowly, retrieving her ring back from Korra. She slipped it onto her left ring finger, buffing the diamond with the sleeve of her shirt, before shifting into a more comfortable position on the bed.

"What's gotten into you?" Korra asked slowly.

"A baby, apparently."

"You actually said it?!"

"Yeah." Kuvira half-smiled. She slowly rolled up the bottom of her shirt and placed a hand on her slightly protruding stomach. "This big of a life change made me think a lot about my future." She blew her bangs out of her face. "Korra, I didn't tell Baatar and Suyin because I was so sure they would be mad. I was so sure I'd be kicked out. I just focused on the negative. But this…my baby, may have changed things for the better."

"I know that I should tell her." Korra got up from the chair, running her hands over her face. She used her knuckles to rub at her temples, beginning to make small circles around the chair. "I want to tell her, but I'm scared," she announced. Kuvira stayed silent as Korra slowly dropped her arms to her sides, her head hanging low. "I'm terrified," she whispered.

"If you weren't scared, then what you're feeling for her wouldn't be real."

Korra walked over to the side of Kuvira's bed, sitting down on the floor, her back resting up against the wooden frame. "How do I know if it's real? How did you know it was real?"

"Can you imagine your life without her?" Kuvira questioned.

Korra scoffed before rapidly shaking her head. She closed her eyes, tilting her head back as numerous thoughts raced across her mind. Her pulse began to speed up as she focused on everything that made her grow attracted to Asami from the beginning. "When I was in the hospital and out of school recovering, she was the first person I wanted to talk to," Korra admitted. "Not even my parents. My _parents_ , Kuvira. She was the only person whom I felt would understand what I was feeling, no matter how happy or sad…."

Korra took in a shaky breath. Korra's eyes snapped open. She reached into her pocket and pulled up her Gallery application. Thumbing through the numerous photos, she pulled up a picture she took when she had brought Asami to the botanical garden. They were seated in a field of flowers with matching floral crowns on their heads. "Which is why I created Avatar157. I already had to live life without her, and I couldn't." Korra jumped up to her feet, facing Kuvira, her blue eyes wide with realization. "Vee, I don't love her. I'm _in_ love with her. I'm _in love_ with Asami. My best friend-"

"Hey!" Kuvira smirked.

"Aside from you." Korra picked the slightly damp towel out of the chair and tossed it over to Kuvira. She sunk down onto the seat, her leg rapidly bouncing up and down.

"If she's really you're best friend, if you are in love with her, and she likes you as much as you like her, which is clear," Kuvira said quietly, "then no matter what happens, you two will find a way to be with each other…eventually."

Before Korra could answer, a rapid knock interrupted them. Kuvira glanced over at Korra before turning her attention towards the door. "I'm not expecting anyone," she muttered, slowly getting to her feet and crossing the room.

"Hey Kuvira," Asami greeted quietly. She smiled at Kuvira, her chest rising and lowering rapidly, a light layer of sweat dotted her forehead and neck.

"Asami," Kuvira answered, stepping to the side. She quickly made herself busy by tidying up the books on a nearby shelf as the engineer stepped into the room.

"Asami," Korra cried as she jumped up out of the seat. The force of her quick actions caused the chair to topple over. Kuvira glanced at it, and then in between Korra and Asami before walking over, stooping down to pick it back up.

"Korra, may we talk?" Asami asked. "Please?" Instead of answering, Korra quickly filled the distance between the two of them. She placed her hands onto Asami's shoulders, closed her eyes, and quickly pressed her lips to Asami's red coated ones. Asami let out a quiet noise of shock, her eyes widening, before Korra pulled away.

"How about taking a walk instead?" Korra asked, suddenly breathless. She half-smiled her blue eyes shining while holding out her hand. Asami looked at her, slowly reaching up to touch her lips with the tips of her fingers. She then smiled shyly; placing slipping her hand into Korra's lacing their fingers. Normally, she wouldn't allow herself to show her worry or shyness, especially around Korra who highly praised her, but at the moment she didn't care.

"I'd like that," Asami said quietly. She gave Kuvira a quick wave, then a small wink, before she and Korra left the room.

"No, it's okay," Kuvira called after them. "I don't need any help, I got this." She lifted the chair back onto its legs. She glanced over at the open door before crossing her arms over her chest, chuckling. "Stupid, Korra. Took you long enough."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think! :)  
> [knocking-down-hesitation.tumblr.com](http://knocking-down-hesitation.tumblr.com)


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Korra tells Asami her secret...

Asami sighed heavily as she watched Korra rip herself from the car and run down the dark sidewalk. She reached up and ran a hand through her hair before moving to position her car into a parking space. Shutting off the engine, she sat in silence for a few moments before slapping her steering wheel with the palm of her hand. Slumping forward, she rested her forehead against the center of the wheel.

She screamed loudly as the horn blared across the parking lot. Picking up her head, she glanced in the direction of where Korra took off. A moment later her cell phone lit up and began to play her ringtone. Glancing at the caller i.d. she pressed the ANSWER button before lifting the phone to her ear.

"I see your car," Bolin shouted. Asami looked out the front windshield up at one of the dorm buildings. She spotted Bolin in a lit window, waving frantically. "What happened? Come up and tell me all about it."

"There's not much to tell," Asami answered with a sigh.

"What's wrong?"

"We kissed and-"

"You what?!" Bolin shouted so loudly that Asami had to pull her phone away from her ear. Not that it helped much, since she could hear his shouts from his dorm building. Opal appeared in the window a few moments later, glancing down at her car. Asami could hear a part of their conversation through the phone. She pressed the speaker icon and set the phone into her lap.

"You two kissed?" Opal asked. "So you're officially together now?"

"No, and that's the problem." Asami unbuckled her seatbelt before propping her elbow up on the car door. "After we kissed, she ran away."

"I never thought you'd be that bad," Bolin commented. "I mean you and Mako dated for a while and that's pretty much all you did aside from calling each other those annoying pet names."

"Bolin!" Asami cried as Opal snickered.

"You know very well that I walked in on the two of you making out too many times," he added.

"Do tell," Opal commented.

"Opal."

"Sorry." She snatched Bolin's phone from his hand, pressing it in-between the crook of her shoulder and her chin. Opal shooed Bolin away before taking a seat in front of the window. "What happened?"

"She looked so scared; like she was haunted or something." Asami shifted in her car seat. She began to tap her fingers against the steering wheel. "We didn't talk at all on the way back except for some forced conversation." She sighed hard. "I didn't want to ruin anything between us," she muttered.

"The only thing that's ruining things between the two of you is the two of you," Opal said firmly. "As entertaining as this has been sometimes-"

"Which it has," Bolin called.

"It's driving me nuts," she confirmed. "Do you want things to progress between you and Korra?"

"Of course."

"Then talk to her," Opal insisted. "Tell her everything that you know. Clearly she has feelings for you too because she didn't pull away when you kissed her."

"She kissed me," Asami corrected. "At least I think. It's kind of confusing."

"She kissed you even though you are dating Kuvira?"

"Was, we 'broke up'." Asami made air quotes around the words broke up, but then dropped her hands into her lap, slowly shaking her head at the silly action she just made over a false relationship.

"Then the only thing that's stopping you is you. If you really love Avatar157, which you've told Korra you do, then you've admitted your feelings before," Opal said, her voice suddenly softer. "What happened tonight has changed everything. So now it's up to you to decide if you want things to progress or stay the same. A relationship is a two way street and open communication is the key."

"You're right." Asami nodded. She popped open the car door and stepped out. A chill ran down her spin as she left the warm interior or her vehicle. "Now I just need to find her."

"I think I saw her running towards Kuvira's dorm," Bolin's voice came back over the phone.

"Thanks. I'll talk to you guys later."

"Good luck," the two of them called before Asami pressed the END button. She closed her car door behind her and then took off towards Kuvira's dorm. While she was freezing from her damp clothes being exposed to the cool air, the idea of finally starting a relationship with Korra warmed her to her toes.

\---

"So, after talking to Opal and Bolin, I had to find you," Asami explained. She shivered violently as a strong breeze picked up, her clothing still a bit damp. However, with Korra tightly holding her hand, she felt warm all over.

_I'm probably a blushing mess. Calm down, Asami! So, you've been thinking of this moment for a long time…a long, long, time. That doesn't mean you should't be your collective self._

"How'd you know I'd be at Kuvira's?" Korra questioned. She slipped her hand out of Asami's, who almost pouted at the lack of contact, before sliding out of her jacket and helping her put it on. Korra quickly buttoned up the front of the jacket, pausing when her knuckles brushed against the underside of Asami's chin while fastening the top button. "You looked…a little cold," she muttered, pulling her hands away.

"What about you?" Asami asked. "It's your jacket. I can handle the cold." As she began to pull of the coat, another breeze picked up. Her pale hands shook as she hastily put the jacket back on. Korra chuckled softly, her breath visible in the dropping temperatures.

"I'm from the south, remember? This is nothing." Korra stuffed her hands into her pockets, lifting a shoulder.

Asami smiled warmly before reaching into the collar of her jacket and fluffing her hair up so that it flowed down her back. Korra watched as her dark hair swayed into place."Kuvira is one of your close friends; I thought she'd be the best place to go."

Korra nodded slowly, pulling her lips into a straight line. She glanced down at the ground, spotting a small pebble. She gave it a small kick, watching as it bounced down the sidewalk. "She told me that the two of you broke up," Korra muttered. "I'm sorry."

"It's no problem, really," Asami insisted. She bit her bottom lip, wincing at her rush of an explanation. "Things would get complicated eventually with the baby. Besides, we just weren't…" she paused, trying to come up with the right word.

"Compatible?" Korra supplied.

"Exactly." She stuck her hands into Korra's jacket pocket. A waft of Korra's perfume filled her nostrils whenever she made small movement. Asami closed her eyes, inhaling deeply. The familiar scent instantly calmed her nerves, the ones that always seemed to jump alive whenever Korra was near. "But, you should be happy since you got what you wanted."

"Excuse me?"

_Shoot! I almost forgot that she doesn't know that I know…_

"You wanted us to become friends," Asami quickly answered. She cleared her throat, rubbing at her cheeks with the sleeves of the jacket to warm up her face. The biting cold was beginning to really become unbearable for her. "I don't think she'd call us that, but we don't dislike each other as much as we used to. Plus, I found out that she's pretty good with kids. She visits Akane at the homeless shelter as much as she can. Those two are cute together." Asami stepped forward, covering her mouth with her hand. Dropping her voice, she whispered: "Between you and me, I think she'll be a fantastic mother."

Korra stood still as she felt Asami's breath on her ear. "Of course, she'd deny anything that'd make her look…" Asami rapidly snapped her fingers, before tapping her chin. "Weak isn't the word."

"Vulnerable?"

Asami nodded. She reached up and tucked a few stray pieces of hair behind her ear. "I think part of the reason I was into her, aside from those nice notes she sent me over the years, is because she reminded me of you." She peeked over at Korra through her bangs. Her pulse spiked and her hands began to shake even harder. She wasn't entirely sure if it was from the cold weather or her basic admission of her feelings.

"Speaking of that," Korra muttered. She reached out and grabbed a hold of Asami's hand. The minute she felt how cold they were, Korra covered the back of Asami's hand with her left, rubbing them gently to warm her up. "…there's something I need to tell you." Korra led Asami over to a nearby bench, continuing to warm her hand.

"Is something wrong?" Asami asked.

"Depending on how you take this news." Korra lowered herself next to Asami on the bench. Her knee began to bounce up and down rapidly. She took a deep breath before turning to face Asami. She couldn't help but stare at her friend's beauty underneath the moonlight. While it was cold, the redness in Asami's face made her green eyes stand out more than usual. Asami smiled gently before waving a hand in Korra's face. She blinked rapidly before shaking her head. "Sorry. This will be really hard to hear, so I'm just going to come out and say it." Korra cleared her throat, stalling for a few moments. Asami nodded her head once, her eyebrows raised, expectantly. "Did I say anything?" Korra asked after a moment.

"No," Asami chuckled. "But, take your time," she added.

_She's going to say it. She's finally going to tell me. Act cool, Asami. Be the well-rounded, and put together person she views you as. Don't let it be obvious that you already know._

"No, I just have to say this." Korra dropped Asami's hand before getting to her feet. "I have to say this before Iose my nerve." She crossed her arms over her chest, turning to face Asami. While she tried hard to make eye contact, Korra couldn't hold it for more than a few seconds. Asami looked too beautiful, and she didn't want to watch as she hurt her. "Kuvira wasn't the one who was writing you the letters."

"She…" Asami paused. "She wasn't?"

"No." Korra squeezed her eyes shut. "I wrote them."

Asami fought for control as a smile tried to form on her face. She inhaled and exhaled slowly, watching as Korra began to pace in small circles in front of her on the sidewalk.

_She actually said it. She finally told me._

"I know you must really be surprised but-"

"Korra, it's okay."

"No, it's not." Korra shook her head. She paused, before sighing exasperatedly, throwing her hands into the air. "I've been sending you on this wild goose chase and pushing you into the arms of one of my good friends." She lifted a shoulder before dropping her hands to her sides, lowering her head. "It wasn't fair to you or to Kuvira. This whole thing isn't fair to anyone involved."

Asami got up from the bench and walked over to Korra. She placed a light hand on Korra's shoulder, giving it a soft squeeze. "I'm just glad you told me," she insisted. "It must have been really hard, but you are really brave for admitting it to me."

Korra slowly lifted her head as she regarded Asami. Raising an eyebrow she took a good look at Asami, looked back at her with wide eyes. A little too wide. It was then Korra realized that Asami was trying a bit too hard to give off an innocent air. "Why aren't you more surprised?" she asked.

"I just understand your hesitation," Asami muttered.

Korra couldn't help but gasp. She pointed at Asami before taking a small step back. "You already knew?!"

"Kind of." Asami reclaimed her seat on the bench before patting the empty space next to her. Korra slowly sat down next to her, a stunned expression set upon her features. She stared at the ground, the tips of her ears turning a bright red. "I know everything."

"Everything?" she whispered. Her dark skin started to slowly turn a light shade of grey. Her knee began to bounce once more. Asami leaned over and placed a reassuring hand on Korra's knee.

"It wasn't too hard to figure out," Asami answered. "Everything just fell right into place once I realized you were Avatar157."

Korra swallowed slowly before turning to face Asami. "S-s-s-so, how long did it take for you to know?"

"About a month or so."

"A month?!

Asami couldn't help but giggle. She quickly covered her mouth, pretending to have suddenly developed a harsh cough, as Korra continued to stare at her. "You're kind of easy to read no matter how hard you hide your emotions," she said calmly. "Plus, the name was obvious."

"It was?" she squeaked.

"You were born on the first of the month, at five o'clock, and you were seven when you found Naga," Asami listed off. Korra nodded as each fact was listed off. She groaned and buried her face in her hands. "Plus, you've told me time and time again that James Cameron's Avatar is one of your most favorite movies," Asami continued. "You were going to dress up like one of them for Halloween. You know, before that night."

Korra immediately sat up straight. She turned and grabbed Asami by the shoulders, her blue eyes wide with worry. "And you don't hate me? I thought you'd be mad."

"Hate you? Why would I hate you?"

"Asami, I-"

"I know I should be upset about you not telling me earlier, but I was just waiting," Asami continued. She had to get everything she wanted to say out in the open. Her pulse began to pick up even more. Her eyes glistened over with tears as she felt a wave of happiness wash over her. "To be honest, I was kind of trying to trick you into telling me. I know you hate running and I know you love kids. I thought that one trip to the homeless shelter to interact with the kids would make you jealous." Asami blurted out. While she tried to fight for composure, the words kept spilling out. "I know how much you want to work with children. I just really wanted you to be the one to tell me."

"Asami, I think you're missing something."

"No, I'm not." A few tears began to fall down Asami's cheeks. Korra wasn't too sure if it was from the cold or from actual tears. It wasn't until Asami took a step forward and pressed their foreheads together that she could tell she was being genuine. "Korra, following my mom's and dad's death, I didn't think people really cared for me. I've just been going from meeting to meeting to be groomed to take over the company and finishing my degree that I didn't think anyone cared to ask about how I was actually doing. Then, even when you were in the hospital recovering you still found a way to show that you cared."

That seemed to bring Korra's attention back. She smiled warmly at Asami, reaching up to brush the hair that had fallen into Asami's face back behind her ear. She drew her hand back down the side of Asami's face, cupping her cheek with her palm. "Of course, I care."

"I know, I care about you too." Asami pressed a light kiss to Korra's cheek. "I always have."

"Me too," Korra muttered. Asami smiled brightly before wrapping her arms around Korra's neck, burying her face in the junction between her chin and shoulder. Korra flinched at the cool feel of contact with Asami's chin, but she forced herself to ignore it as she returned the embrace.

Luckily, Asami couldn't see the frown forming on Korra's face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think! :)  
> [knocking-down-hesitation.tumblr.com](http://knocking-down-hesitation.tumblr.com)


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The truth is revealed...

"You'll be going home for Christmas?" Asami asked.

"Right after my last final," Korra answered as she and Asami climbed the dorm stairs in the direction of Kuvira's room. The halls were empty, signifying that a majority of the students have already finished their examinations and were on their way home for their holiday break. "I would invite you to come…but-"

"It's okay," Asami answered with a shrug. "It's a busy time of the year at Future Industries. I wouldn't have time to relax even if I wanted to."

"I thought you said the employee's always get extra leave and a holiday bonus."

"They do, but I still have a lot to take care of before taking on my new position." She cleared her throat. "So…" Asami trailed off as she and Korra came to a stop outside of Kuvira's dorm room. She turned and faced Korra with a smile, who returned it half-heartedly. "What happens now?"

Korra scrunched up an eyebrow, tilting her head to the side. "What do you mean?"

"Between us," she answered. "Now that everything is out in the open, I think we can move forward." She noticed a look of worry cross Korra's features. "O-only if you want to." She quickly added. "I didn't mean to push."

"I agree, but-"

"But we would have to break this news carefully."

"Or, we could just tell Bolin. He'll have it around campus in about five seconds," Korra chuckled. Asami giggled light before turning and pressing a light kiss to her lips.

"What was that for?" Korra asked when they pulled away.

"I'm just really happy," Asami answered with a sigh. A moment later, Kuvira's dorm door opened. She paused when she spotted Asami and Kuvira in her path. Looking in between the two of them, she noticed the look of happiness on Asami's face, and the look of content and discomfort on Korra's.

"…Is…is everything okay?" Kuvira asked slowly. "I didn't mean to interrupt anything if I did. I just had to go to the bathroom and this is my door." She looked over at Korra, peering at her closely. She looked down, noticing Korra's and Asami's hands interlocked.

"Everything is…great," Asami smiled.

"Yeah, great," Korra added, trying to muster up as much enthusiasm as she could.

"Things can go back to normal now. Well, relatively. Korra told me everything," Asami said happily.

"Oh, good." Kuvira let out a big sigh. "You finally told Asami about her dad." Her smile instantly faded when Korra's eyes widened, her lips pulled into a straight line. Every muscle in Korra's body tensed up. Asami looked back and forth in between the two of them, confusion tugging at her eyebrows. "Shit," Kuvira muttered.

Korra quickly released Asami's hand, wrapping her arms around herself, taking a small step back. She exhaled sharply through her nose, a quiet whimper broke past her lips. Kuvira groaned quietly before running a hand over her face.

"What's going on?" Asami frowned. Korra and Kuvira continued to stare at each other. She swallowed hard, the only sound magnified in the quiet hallway. She faced Korra "You know something about my dad?"

"Sorry," Kuvira muttered, raising a shoulder. Korra muttered something underneath her breath, quickly turning away. She squeezed her eyes shut, tightening her grip on her arms. Her fingers were making indents on her thin long-sleeved shirt. "I'll leave you two alone." Kuvira sent Asami an apologetic look before stepping back into her room. "I'll hold it…at least I'll try." With that she gently closed her dorm door.

"What did you need to tell me about my dad?" Asami asked. Korra didn't respond. Instead, she ran her hands through her hair, turning her back towards Asami. She let out a loud cry, kicking a nearby trash can over. Asami stepped forward, placing her hand on Korra's arm. She flinched when Korra violently tore her arm away.

"…You're going to hate me," Korra whispered without turning around. The muscles in her back twitched. Slowly dropping her arms to her sides, she curled her fingers into her fists, squeezing hard. Her shoulders started to rise up and down, her breathing became much shallower with each passing moment. Korra leaned forward, resting her forearms against the wall, her head hanging low.

"No, I won't!" Asami insisted, her voice catching. Korra slowly lifted her head, turning it slightly. Out of her peripheral she was able to catch a glimpse of Asami. Her green eyes glistened with tears. Fear, worry, and longing clouded her features. "Why do you keep saying that?"

"Because, you will. I know you will."

Asami stepped forward and wrapped her arms around Korra's waist, resting her cheek on her muscular back. "You're scaring me. What's going on? Korra?"

Removing her hands from the wall, Korra gently pried Asami's arms from around her. "I didn't mean to hurt you. I just wanted you to be happy."

"I was…I am…" Asami put a hand on Korra's arm. "You're not making any sense."

"Don't," Korra cried, pulling herself out of Asami's touch. "…please." Asami nodded once. Korra pulled her lips into a straight line. The back of throat started to burn, a large lump beginning to form. Her eyes stung, tears started to collect along the edges of her eyelashes. Her vision became blurred. "You'll just make things harder," she rasped.

"Please, tell me," Asami answered. "I need to know." She began to wring her hands together, shifting her weight back and forth. "You of all people know how hard my father's death has been."

At those words, Korra let out a moan. She retreated until her back hit the wall. She slowly slid down until she was sitting on the floor. Asami carefully walked closer to her, crouching down next to her. She reached out to wipe the first tear that slid down Korra's cheek, but stopped herself, instead placing her hand in her lap. Not that it would have made much of a difference since Korra turned her head away the minute she noticed Asami's hand.

Korra took a deep, shuddering breath. As she exhaled she muttered something. To Asami, all she spotted where her lips moving. More tears began to fall down Korra's face. She didn't reach up to wipe them away, allowing them to trickle down her chin and her neck.

"I…I didn't hear what you said," Asami whispered. Korra sobbed before reaching up to hold her head in her hands. Asami inhaled slowly, steadying herself, trying to keep from crying as she watched Korra finally look at her. Her bright blue eyes looked dull and about to turn to a light grey. If the colors were to change anymore they would have appeared white. The redness of her eyes highlighted the color change, as well as the evident sorrow.

"Asami," Korra muttered. "I did it," she muttered. Asami's eyes narrowed, her head titling to the side. "I-I was…the one who…wh-wh-who killed…your father," she admitted.

Asami's eyes widened. She raised a shaking hand to her mouth, covering it and muffling the loud sob that broke through. The tears that she was holding instantly spilled down her face, carving tracks of salt into her pale complexion. Korra burst into fresh tears when she saw Asami begin to break down.

"I've been wanting to tell you for a long time," Korra whispered. Her eyelids were heavy and swollen. Tearing her eyes away from Asami, she took up interest in her hands, focusing on the cracks in her skin from the dry and cool air. "I didn't mean to hurt you."

"What…what happened?" Asami asked.

"At the party…I saw you with Mako. I saw you kiss and I felt like something inside of me broke." Korra paused to take a breath. She focused on her breathing, trying to cover up the sounds of Asami's fingers digging into her pant legs. "I decided to go home, but I had one drink too many, and-"

"You were drunk," she concluded.

Korra shook her head. "No, I was buzz-"

"That's the same thing!" Asami said firmly. Her eyes were narrowed into a glare. She abruptly got to her feet. She moved so quickly that couldn't help but flinch.

"I know!" Korra cried. She lifted her head and cast her a pleading look which went unnoticed as Asami began to pace in tight circles. Her footfalls were extra heavy, highlighting her anger with each step. "Asami, I know I messed up! Badly. I've been carrying this guilt for three years."

At that, Asami came to a sudden stop. She slowly crossed her arms over her chest, shifting her weight to one side. She began to rapidly tap her foot. Slowly lowering her head, her dark hair fell into her face, shielding her face with a curtain of hair. "…Why?" she asked quietly.

"What?" Korra blinked. She sniffed softly, before reaching up to wipe her cheeks and nose with the sleeve of her shirt.

"Why didn't you just tell me?" Asami snapped.

"How?" Korra asked, her voice cracking. Asami shifted at the sound. "How would you have liked for that conversation to start?" she couldn't help but have a bit of edge to her voice.

"Don't get an attitude with me, Korra!"

"I'm sorry."

"Who knows?" Asami asked, her voice suddenly lighter and calmer. She turned and faced Korra, but the curtain of hair still blocked her face. Normally, Korra would have made a comment of her looking like the girl from the Ring, skin tone and all, but she bit her tongue. While trying to lighten a heavy mood with a joke did work from time to time, she knew this wasn't the type of situation.

"My parents, President Raiko, Chief Lin Beifong," Korra listed.

"Kuvira?" Asami demanded. She bit her bottom lip. "Did she know?"

"Yes."

"What about…" she paused to clear her throat. "What about my dad?"

"Yes." Korra nodded. "That in itself is really hard to fully explain. He was able to cover things up so I wouldn't be charged or arrested." Asami made a soft clicking sound with her tongue. "I'm not too sure why. It's probably because of my dad being a political figure."

"Or he took pity," Asami muttered. She reached up and brushed her dark hair out of her face. Her expression was blank, her eyes a harsh shade of green. "He does that sometimes."

Korra began to wring her hands together. Her knee bounced rapidly. She sniffed loudly once more before wiping away her face, silently glad that she wasn't wearing makeup so as to not look like a clown. Taking a glance at Asami clean face, aside from the tear trails still evident, she still couldn't help but see her beauty behind all of her justified anger. "I'm sure it had something to do with public standing and politics and-"

"I'm well aware."

"Your dad didn't want to ruin our friendship."

"Are you kidding?" Asami scoffed. Korra's eyes widened, a burst of hurt and anger erupting in her chest.

"He knew that even though you two didn't get along that well he saw how much I meant to you and-"

"And what?" Asami shouted. Korra flinched once more. She had hardly ever seen or heard Asami raise her voice. She was even calm when Bolin had to relay the news that he had accidentally ripped a hole in a new dress that she had purchased the day before for a big company event.

"He wanted to make sure we were still friends so that I could keep focus to take over the company."

"No, so that you had a friend," Korra rushed. She licked her lips and swallowed, coating the back of her throat, attempting to be rid of the lump. "Someone who really cared about you."

"Did you?" Asami demanded. Korra blinked rapidly, confusion crossing her features. Asami sighed harshly, rubbing her glabella with her knuckles. "Did you even care? About my feelings or my well-being?"

"Yes!" Korra scrambled to her feet. She stood toe to toe with Asami, reaching up to cup her pale face. The engineer didn't show a change of emotion, just stared down her nose at Korra without blinking. "Asami, I love you," she declared. "I'm in love with you."

"Since when?" Asami carefully reached up and placed her hands on Korra's wrist. She tugged gently, removing the warm hands from her face. "Since you pushed me off on Kuvira?"

"I did that because I was afraid to tell you the truth and I wanted you to be happy," Korra insisted. Her voice took a pleading tone. Her hands began to shake; she became restless. "Your happiness was the only thing that I cared about so when you and Kuvira started to date I saw how happy you were to be with the person…to be with."

"The person I fell in love with," Asami concluded. Korra opened her mouth to respond, but slowly closed it. The two were silent as Asami uncurled her hands from around Korra's wrists. "I don't even know who that person is anymore," she whispered.

"Asami-"

"You lied to me, Korra." Asami's voice caught, her eyes brimming with tears once more. She cleared her throat and took a step back, placing distance in-between them. "Even though I knew the entire time that you were Avatar157, I was letting ot go because I had a feeling you had a good reason not to tell me." She scoffed. "I just thought…you were afraid to be with me. To love me, or a girl in general."

Korra rapidly shook her head. As took a step forward, Asami took one back."No, it wasn't-"

Asami held up her hand and Korra instantly stopped talking. Asami sniffed as she slipped Korra's jacket off of her shoulders. She took a second to look over at Korra, before folding up the jacket and holding it out. Korra hesitantly received the article of clothing. "Thank you for letting me borrow it." With that, she stepped around Korra and headed down hallway.

"Asami, wait," Korra begged.

"No!" she shouted. Asami slowed to a stop, but refused to turn around. "Korra…just leave me alone."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think! :)  
> [knocking-down-hesitation.tumblr.com](http://knocking-down-hesitation.tumblr.com)


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Korra faces her inner demons as Mako has a heart to heart with Asami...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a potential trigger at the beginning of this chapter

Korra pulled herself out of the swimming pool, wincing as she scraped her right knee and foot along the concrete wall. Hunching over, she glanced down at the raw skin. Blood began to bubble up near the surface as the slight sting of pain set in. Muttering to herself she walked into the locker room and headed towards her locker.

After unlocking the master lock, she picked up her cell phone, turning on the screen in hopes of finding a message. Another wave of sadness washed over her as she didn't see a new notification.

_Did you really expect things to change, Korra? She told you to leave her alone…_

Wrapping a towel around her waist, she move silently and slowly through the locker room towards the sinks. Grabbing a first aid kit from a nearby shelf, she pried the lid open with her thumb. Scanning the contents inside of the small white box, she passed over a pair of scissors and found the bandages. Making quick work of the paper wrappings, she placed the adhesive bandage on the cuts, before throwing the remaining bits into the trash.

_…maybe you should…_

Moving to close the first-aid kit, her eyes paused upon seeing the bright neon orange of the scissor handles. Korra pulled them out from the first aid kit. Placing the handle in her palm, she wrapped her fingers around the orange plastic. The cool metal of the blades rested against the back of her left hand. She tapped it rhythmically against her skin as she began to sway back and forth.

_Things would be easier for her if you were gone…_

Lifting her head, she glanced at her reflection. Her eyes were red and swollen, salt trails lined her cheeks, dark bags lined her bottom eyelids, and her lips were pulled into a permanent frown. Her long brown hair tickled her shoulder blades.

_Her happiness is the most important thing to you, right?_

She held the scissors up in the air, staring at the blades. Opening and closing then, she watched the metal scrape against each other. Pushing up her shirt sleeve on her left arm, Korra moved her hands behind her head, placing the cutting utensil close to her left hand, as she gathered up her hair, brushing it away from her neck. Taking a deep breath, Korra closed her eyes and squeezed the handle shut. A light cutting sound filled the empty bathroom, followed by a quiet sob.

Brown hair fluttered into the sink.

_…Right._

\---

Aside from taking her finals, Asami refused to leave her room. She didn't want to face her friends, she didn't want to talk about her feelings, and she definitely didn't want to see Korra. Her phone refused to keep silent though, as it would light up with phone calls and messages from Bolin and Opal, asking how she was doing.

Of course the news had spread through her and Korra's small circle of friends. In fact, it wouldn't surprise Asami if it ended up in the school paper or become a city known fact in a matter of days. She didn't like the looks of condolences and pity that people gave her after her father passed. What else could someone do for her other than that? Not many have experience losing both of their parents at such a young age. To them it probably meant they were understanding, but to Asami it was just annoying and proved that no one. It didn't help that the one person she knew she would be able to confide in was the one who dropped the biggest bombshell of her life.

Now, here she was, sitting in her dorm room repeating things over and over in her head. Korra had declared her love for Asami, something she didn't see coming, and if they were in other circumstances, would have sent her over the moon. However, the words only filled her with more pain and gut-wrenching uneasiness.

A swift knock came from the other side of the door. Asami groaned lightly, burying her head into her pillow. Squeezing her eyes shut, she held her breath, listening for footsteps. Instead the knock came once more. She sighed hard, throwing her bedding off of herself before marching over towards the door. She unlocked the deadbolt before flinging the door open.

Mako jumped back in surprise at fast movement of the door. He peered closely at Asami before his eyes widened in shock. She wasn't wearing any makeup except for eyeliner. While it didn't take away any of her beauty, it just surprised him that she didn't look as put together as she usually did.

"What?" she asked.

"Um…" Mako muttered, his fingers fluttering over the white envelope in his hand. He looked down at it before slowly hiding it behind his back. "How are you doing?"

Asami exhaled through her nose before reaching up and running a hand through her hair. "What's the real reason you're here?" she demanded.

"I wanted to talk to you."

She remained silent and raised an eyebrow, giving him a skeptical look. "If this is about Korra," she started, a warning tone laced with her words.

"It's about you," Mako insisted.

"Okay, what?" Asami asked. She leaned up against the door frame, crossing her arms over her chest. She lifted her chin a bit and regarded him, waiting for him to answer.

"I'm worried about you. We all are." He reached up and ran a hand through his hair. The red scarf that was draped around his shoulders inched a bit close towards the ground. "You aren't yourself anymore and you haven't spoken to anyone in days," Mako listed. "You've just been working and working. It's not healthy."

"I just don't feel like talking to people," she said with a shrug.

"No, you're just scared."

"Well since you're this hotshot detective, what am I afraid of?"

Mako took her tone in stride, which sent a prick of annoyance racing through her body. He raised one shoulder. "Asami, we used to date. I know how you act based on your emotions. You were always so confident with yourself, even when your father passed. You're afraid that you're alone."

"I'm not alone, I'm an orphan," she corrected.

"Same thing, at least in your case. When we were dating I wondered why you always wanted to spend time with me."

"Um, maybe because I liked you," Asami said, sarcasm attached itself to every word.

"Yes, but when you weren't working we would be joined at the hip. You actually had something to do outside of the two of us, and all I did is study." He couldn't help but chuckle at the irony that they were essentially stuck in their old ways. "I just feel that we only spent that much time together because your dad would always be working and you'd never see him. It's also probably why you moved out of the house and decided to stay on campus near your friends." He titled his head to the side. "Am I right or am I right?"

"That's…possible."

"Since Korra told you the truth you can't trust her. Now, you really feel alone."

"Would you trust someone after they give you news like that?"

"This isn't about me, but Korra is a true friend," Mako said quietly. "We all know this. We may all be friends, but let's face it. She's the glue that holds us all together. She didn't want to hurt you. She truly cared about your happiness. Who would want to deliver news like that? And besides, you will never be alone with me here, or Bolin, or Opal."

Asami cast her eyes to the ground. She tilted her head so that her dark her would cover her face as tears threatened to fall. "You all wouldn't understand," she whispered.

"We wouldn't?" he raised an eyebrow. "Bolin and I lost our parents when we were young," he said firmly. Asami winced before giving him a look of apology. Of course she knew that Mako and Bolin had lost their family was well, and she was lucky enough to spend many years with one of her parents, but they didn't have that luxury. "We used to live on the street and all we had was each other. Opal may come from a large family but you know how lost she can sometimes feel by being a part of a big group. We all may have different ideas on what's it feels like to have no one around when someone is always around." Mako stepped forward and gave Asami a one-armed hug, as her arms stayed crossed over her chest. As awkward as she felt, she didn't resist his touch. "We're your friends. We've been through a lot together. So why go through this alone?" Pulling back he placed a hand on her shoulder, jostling her a little bit. "I'm not saying you have to forgive her right away and I'm not saying you don't' deserve to be angry. I get it. But, if you really want to be alone, it'll happen faster than you think."

Asami nodded slowly. She pulled her lips into a straight line before forming them into a half smile. She took a step forward and wrapped her arms around his midsection, giving him a tight hug. She buried her face in his neck as he gave her a one-armed hug in return.

"Thanks, Mako," she said before pulling away. "I really appreciate it."

"Anytime." Mako placed a hand on her arm and squeezed it lightly. He gave her a nod before turning to walk away. After taking a few steps, he paused upon realizing the envelope was still in his hand. Smacking himself on the forehead, he turned and quickly handed the envelope over to Asami. "Here, this is for you."

"What is it?" Asami asked, glancing at her name on the front in nice and neat handwriting. She looked at Mako with a raised eyebrow as he paused. "Well?"

"It's from Korra," he admitted.

Anger instantly clouded her features. "What are you, her delivery boy?" she snapped.

"Hey, don't shoot the messenger."

"Sorry."

"Aren't you going to read it?"

"No," she said with bite.

"That's fine. It's none of my business," Mako said quickly as he raised his hands defensively. She pursed her lips before turning and tossing the envelope onto a nearby desk. "Take care," he said quietly.

"Thanks," Asami muttered before closing the door. She marched back over towards her bed before stooping down to reach for a box underneath it. It was filled with mechanical parts, a screw driver, pliers, an oil-stained cloth, and a pair of gloves. Whenever Asami would get upset, she'd find a small project to work on. Currently, she was fixing a carburetor for one of the satomobiles at Future Industries that was on the fritz.

Slipping on the gloves, she carefully picked up the semi-dismantled carburetor pieces with the dirty cloth and set to work. For the next few hours, she worked in silence, trying to repair the car part, and ignoring her phone that lay on her bed hidden among the sheets.

"I'm busy," Asami called out.

"It's me," Kuvira answered.

"I don't care who me is," she snapped. Asami rolled as she heard Kuvira knocking one more, albeit much louder and faster. "I'm busy, so please leave me alone," she instructed.

"This is important!"

"How important can it be?"

Asami paused, her grip still tight on the screwdriver in her hand when Kuvira's knocking stopped. A stretch of silence floated in between them. "Korra's gone." Asami's grip loosened on the screwdriver. She jumped as it clattered to the floor. Ripping off her gloves, not caring that the carburetor clattered to the floor from resting on her thigh, she rushed over to the door and threw it open. Kuvira was standing in front of her, holding a white envelope and a piece of blue stationery.

"What do you mean, gone?" Asami demanded. She took a step back and allowed Kuvira to enter her room.

"You didn't read this, did you?" Kuvira asked, plucking the white envelope off of the table. She held it out to Asami, who shrugged. "Asami…she's leaving."

Asami blinked slowly before turning to face Kuvira. Frowning, she tilted her head to the side, her eyebrows furrowed. "Wh…what?"

"Read this," she insisted. Kuvira reached out and grabbed Asami's hand, placing the envelope into her palm. She then crossed her arms over her chest as she watched Asami run her thumb underneath the flap, breaking the seal. Pulling out the light blue stationery, her hands shook as she unfolded the piece of paper and began to read its contents.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think! :)  
> [knocking-down-hesitation.tumblr.com](http://knocking-down-hesitation.tumblr.com)


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Korra's letter to Asami

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_Dear Asami,_

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_These past few years have been the toughest for me, but it must have been wonders of hurt for you, and it kills me to know that I am the main cause. I regret nothing more than what I have done to you. I took away the last part of your family over something so petty. If I had only been honest with myself, with you, then everything would be different right now. ~~Maybe we’d be together.~~_

__

_I shouldn’t have mentioned that. This isn’t an alternate universe, and I don’t want to come across as not owning up to my actions. ~~The truth is, I’ve been owning up to it for years.~~ Maybe I haven’t. I kept this guilt and this life-altering secret to myself for three years. Those involved knew, and yes, that includes Kuvira._

__

_Please don’t use her as your emotional punching bag because I begged her not to tell you. In fact, she’s been an amazing friend by sticking by me this entire time, so I wrote her a letter as well to apologize for the hurt and discomfort I gave her. You see, it’s one thing to be holding something like this in since I was the one who caused the wreck, but she honored my wishes time and time again and kept mum about everything._

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_I didn’t deserve a second of it. She could have given me up at any moment, but refused to do so. She willingly went along with all of my strange and abnormal plans to keep the truth from you; to keep you happy. I told her over and over that I would tell you, knowing that I was leading her under false pretenses and lies. In fact, part of me believes she let the news slip out on purpose and I don’t blame her for it. By doing so, she’s proved herself for the umpteenth time that she’s a fantastic friend._

__

_I can’t bear to see you unhappy because of my actions. However, it is understandable because I was being selfish. I kept telling convincing myself that I shouldn’t tell you because you deserved to be happy. After everything you’ve been through in your life, it seemed like one crushing blow after the other, and I wanted to give you a sense of hope that everything would end up fine._

__

_Your happiness was the only thing I focused on for the past three years, which is why I started writing the notes to you. I wanted you to believe that there was someone out there who cared for you and your well-being. I wanted you to believe that you weren’t alone, even though you thought you were with your father passing away and myself ending up in and out of the hospital and physical therapy/rehab for a few years._

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_Asami, we’ve been through so much together and I hate that our friendship has to end this way. I don’t know if things will ever be the same between us again, and that’s what hurts me the most. I crushed the one person I really, truly care about in this world for my own disguised selfish reasons. I only hope that one day you can forgive me. You are so important to me and I made your life worse instead of better._

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_I didn’t tell you I was the one writing the notes because of the feelings I’ve had for you. I didn’t want to scare you away, because, the truth is, I was scared. I was scared about a lot of things. There were times where was scared I wasn’t going to get better. As you recall, there was talk about me possibly never regaining the ability to walk. I didn’t want to get too attached because, in the off chance things didn’t end well, I would have hated becoming another disappointment for you. And yet, I became attached. I tried desperately to not have things change between us, and here we are. I would have hated to truly leave you, to make you legitimately alone._

__

_However, those are your wishes; and to honor them, I will be leaving Republic City. I’m going to head back to the South for Christmas vacation…and I may not come back. I don’t know how long I’m going to be down there. I don’t even know if I’m even going to stay at my home either._

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_I know you deserve a proper goodbye, but that would cause me too much pain. I wouldn’t even expect you to show up if I had asked to meet. I want this to be as simple as possible, and while I had hoped our ~~potential~~ last meeting in life to end on a positive note, I know that this is the way things have to be. Don’t for a second think that I will stop loving and caring for you. It’d be an impossible feat._

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_I'm not sure there's a way to come back from this. I've made a mess of things and I feel terrible all the time at the thought that I've done nothing but cause other people pain. I only want you to be happy. If that means staying away from you, I understand._

__

~~_I love you Asami, and I always will._~~

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_You’re special, and I hope going through life others will see it in you as I do._

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_Korra_

__

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is about the 9th version of this letter and it still doesn't sound as good as I would like for it to be, as I envisioned. So there may be a chance this will be updated/edited later. I'll keep you all posted if I do make any changes.
> 
> Please let me know what you think! :)  
> [knocking-down-hesitation.tumblr.com](http://knocking-down-hesitation.tumblr.com)


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kuvira puts an end to Asami's avoidance of Korra...

"She can't be leaving," Asami muttered as she lowered her arms to her sides. The letter gently fluttered to the floor. "She just can't."

"She is," Kuvira said. She carefully folded up her own letter, placing it back into the envelope and sticking it into her back pocket. "She just told you that."

"But she _can't_."

"Well, we don't have a say in that," Kuvira pointed out. "Korra has never really been the type to listen to what anyone else says."

"Why?" Asami walked over to her bed before slowly lowering herself onto the duvet. The springs creaked gently. "Why would she do this?"

"I think the letter is self-explanatory." Kuvira crossed her arms over her chest before moving to stand in front of Asami. She tilted her head to the side before taking a quick glance at the watch on her wrist.

"Why does she keep causing me so much pain?" Asami whispered. Her eyes were focused on the ground, staring at the letter and envelope that rested on the floor.

"Excuse me?" Kuvira asked harshly.

"Leaving is the worst thing to do." Placing her hands into her lap, Asami laced her fingers together. Her knee began to bounce, her breathing became shaky. "We haven't even talked about-"

"You never gave her a chance-" she interrupted.

"It won't fix anything-"

"You were the one who told her-"

"Is she not going to take responsibility?"

"Asami, shut the _fuck_ up," Kuvira bellowed. Asami inhaled sharply before lifting her head and gazing up at her with a hard glare. Kuvira returned the look with a much harsher glare of her own. Finally after a few moments, Asami shifted her eyes away as she began to wring her hands together. "You _told_ Korra to leave you alone," she said firmly. "You two were standing right outside my door while I had tried desperately not to wet myself. You don't know how lucky you were I was nice enough to let you all have some privacy…relatively." Kuvira took a deep breath before running her hand over her face. "You wanted her to leave and now she is. You didn't even give her a chance to fully explain everything." Asami stubbornly raised her chin a few inches. "You wanted to be alone and now you are."

"No one _wants_ to be alone, Kuvira." 

"No one except you," she muttered. Asami moved, beginning to form a comeback put paused as the words sunk in. Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Kuvira muttered quietly under her breath as she rolled her eyes. Tapping her chin, Kuvira slowly began to pace around the room. "Korra says in your letter that you are afraid of being alone. I don't think that's true," she said with a shoulder raise, "I think you believe that you _deserve_ to be alone."

"Who deserves to be alone?" Asami asked.

"For someone so smart you are so dumb." Kuvira huffed, running a hand through her hair. She stopped pacing before positioning herself in front of Asami. She reached out and tapped the engineer lightly in the middle of her forehead. "Think about it: your mother passed when you were young, right?" She waited for Asami to nod in confirmation. "So at that point it was just you and your dad. From what I gathered from Korra over the years, you clung to your ex-boyfriend and your friends because your father was hardly around from working." Asami nodded once more, continuing to remain quiet as Kuvira forged on.

"Now, your father is gone and the one person you wanted around was in the hospital wondering if they'll ever walk again. While you did have friends there to support you, you only focus on Korra not being there. So, when the letters started, you began to fall for that person because you weren't alone." Tears began to gather in Asami's green eyes. Reaching up, Asami swatted Kuvira's finger off of her forehead. Kuvira quickly grabbed Asami by the chin, forcing her into direct eye contact. " _However_ ," she stressed, "when something goes wrong you want to be left alone. You push people away to see if they will actually leave, to see if they pass some stupid test to prove that they'll always be around. But then, when people really leave you can't handle it."

"So, you think I'm doing this on purpose?" Asami muttered.

"Yes! Obviously," Kuvira scoffed. She harshly pushed Asami's chin away before taking a few steps back. "Honestly, how you're going to be a CEO, I don't understand."

Asami swallowed hard before reaching up and dabbing at the tear that collected in the corner of her eyes. Slipping off of the bed, she reached underneath for another box. Lifting off the lid, she stuck her hand into the massive collection of handwritten and printed out messages.

Kuvira quickly stepped out of the way when Asami quickly got to her feet and rushed towards her desk. Pulling out a draw from the middle of the wooden piece of furniture, she gently reached out and ran her thumb over the flower crown that Korra had given her during their trip to the botanical garden. A smile tugged at the corner of her lips. She moved back to her bed and picked up her cell phone. Ignoring the numerous missed phone call and text message notifications, she pulled up the Gallery app and flipped through the many photos and she and Korra had taken over the years. Her smile only grew as she scanned photo after photo after photo. "…I need to talk to Korra," she declared.

"No, duh dipshit," Kuvira sneered. She grabbed Asami by the shoulders and turned her to face her. "Do something before it's too late," she instructed.

Asami's smile instantly faded as the screen on her phone turned black. The pictures of herself and Korra were gone. She gasped, her eyes widening as she glanced at the letter left on the floor. Asami walked robotically over to the letter on the ground. With shaking hands she picked it up, rapidly re-reading it. Letting out a soft cry, she crumbled it up on her hands. "It _is_ too late. She has to be gone by now."

"No, she's not," Kuvira said quietly. Asami turned to look at her and was surprised to see how soft and gently her facial features were. It was then Asami got a real good look at her. Her dark brown hair was out of its usual braid and flowed past her shoulders. Her olive green eyes were filled with compassion. "She's at the edge of campus, waiting for a shuttle to the train station to take her to the airport."

"Why didn't you say something earlier?" Asami rushed over to her closet and pulled out a long, red Future Industries jacket. Slipping her arms into the sleeves, she caught her reflection in a mirror. She fought the huge need to apply some more makeup as she stuck her hands underneath the collar and flipped her hair free of the coat.

"Because you weren't ready to know," she answered with a shrug. "If I had told you before, you would have let her leave without a second thought."

"How do you know she's there?" Asami slipped on a pair of boots, wincing as almost twisted her ankle in her haste. As the seconds passed she became jittery. Kuvira leaned up against a dresser, crossing her ankles and watching in mild amusement.

"A lot of people say we're a lot alike, but a known difference between us is that Korra isn't that hard to figure out," she chuckled. She cleared her throat, her smile fading. "After I got her letter, I ran to see if she had actually left her room. Everything was cleared out, except she left her flight information in the trash." Kuvira scoffed. "Now, if it were _me_ , I would have made it _very_ hard for me to be tracked."

"So you think she did it on purpose?"

"Maybe." Kuvira shrugged once more. "It may have also been the reason why she got Mako to deliver your letter a few hours before she's set to leave."

Asami tied the last shoelace on her boots before grabbing her student i.d and room key off of her desk. She paused upon glancing at the digital clock sitting on a shelf on the wall. Crossing the room, tugged on the string of the blinds that covered the windows. She groaned loudly when she noticed how dark it had become. "How will I make it across campus in time?" she asked. "The parking lots and nearby streets will be flooded with people going home for vacation."

"If I recall: speed, cars, and auto parts are your forte," Kuvira pointed out. She dug into her pockets and pulled out a set of keys before tossing them into the air. Asami lifted her hand and caught them with ease. "You can use my bike," she suggested. "Although, if anything happens to it…"

"I'm a mechanic, remember," Asami said as she flipped through the keys, looking for the proper one.

"Just hurry up before I change my mind."

"Thank you, Kuvira," she said graciously, moving towards the door. She paused after a few steps, twiddling with the keys in her hand. Turning on her heel, she walked right up to Kuvira and threw her arm around her upper body, pulling her into a hug. "Seriously, thank you," she muttered into the crook of Kuvira's neck.

Kuvira stiffened as Asami pulled her into an embrace. A few moments later, she exhaled softly before unfolding her arms, reaching out, and returning the hug. "You're welcome," she muttered.

"I'm sorry, for not giving you a chance at first," Asami said after pulling back. "Now I see why you and Korra are friends…why we're friends," she added hesitantly. Kuvira quickly refolded her arms over her chest, smirking slightly.

"…It wasn't just you that made things…difficult, to put it nicely," she answered.

"How were you able to deal with the both of us for so long?"

"That's another difference between me and Korra, I can be patient. Besides, it's been somewhat entertaining. Since I quit boxing, I need something to occupy my time." Kuvira broke into a half-smile. Asami chuckled lightly before heading towards the door once more. She stopped when she felt a firm grip on the crook of her elbow. Turning, she glanced at the worried look on Kuvira's face. "She's already hurting, as you are, so you'll understand…try not to make it worse."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think! :)  
> [knocking-down-hesitation.tumblr.com](http://knocking-down-hesitation.tumblr.com)


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Asami rushes to find Korra so they can talk before she leaves...

Asami pressed firmly on the brakes of Kuvira's motorcycle as she neared the shuttle stop on the edge of campus. After shutting off the engine and knocking down the kickstand, she removed her helmet before speed-walking up to the bus shelter. The cold temperatures made her eyes water and stung her cheeks and nose.

"Korra," she called out as she stepped around the side of the bus shelter. Her voice echoed around the empty space. Cursing quietly, she pulled out her phone and pressed down on the number 2 button, speed dialing Korra's phone. Her hands shook violently since she forgot to grab a pair of gloves in her haste.

Holding the phone to her hear, she held her breath as the dial tone sounded in her ear. Tucking the electronic device in between her jaw and shoulder, she crossed her arms over her chest, shoving her hands into her armpits, trying to keep warm.

"Come on, come on, come on," she muttered. The condensation of her breath was visible as it flowed past her rosy red lips. "Please answer, please, please, please…"

After the seventh ring, Asami groaned and pulled the phone away from her ear. The screen had turned dark while it dialed. She lightly pressed the power button with her thumb to bring the screen back up. As she moved to press the end button, the dialing notification on her phone disappeared, and a timer began.

"Korra!" Asami said into the phone as she pressed it to her ear once more. She didn't hear any other sounds from the earpiece except for occasional breathing. "I'm so glad you picked up," she added with a sigh of relief. Glancing at the metal bench, she slowly sat down, shivering violently as the cold metal pressed into her legs. "I didn't want you to go…before…I didn't want you to leave and have everything be bad between us. But, it looks like I'm too late."

"I didn't leave yet," Korra said quietly as she stepped into the bus shelter. Asami looked up and couldn't help a smile as Korra pressed the END button on her phone. "I was in the bathroom. The shuttle is running a bit late," she explained as she dropped her blue knapsack to the ground with a loud thump. Using the tip of her shoe, she pushed it underneath the metal bench,

Asami's smile faded as she watched Korra deposit her bag onto the ground. Glancing up at her once more, she spotted her short dark brown hair. It wasn't that she didn't like it, but it was just a shocking change. She whimpered as another shiver wracked her whole body.

"You know you don't do well in the cold. And look, you don't even have any gloves." Korra lightly scolded her. Reaching into her pocket, Korra pulled out a pair of blue gloves before placing them into Asami's lap.

Asami said a quiet thank you before shutting off the call. She placed her phone into her pocket before slipping on the gloves. Korra nodded in response. Stuffing her hands into her jacket pocket, she began to rock gently back and forth. "Would you like to sit?" Asami asked, tapping the metal bench next to her. Korra shrugged, before taking a seat next to her. The two faced forward, not daring to sneak a glance at each other.

"…So," Korra said, breaking the silence. "You're the motorcycle maniac?"

Asami smiled. "There's already a name for me?"

"You did drive on campus sidewalks and almost took out the campus workers trying to raise the Christmas tree." Sneaking a glance out of her peripheral, she noticed the frown of confusion forming on Asami's face. Korra waved her cell phone in the air, indicating that she had read the reports on her phone.

"I warned them I was coming," she answered defensively.

"Isn't it against school rules to drive on campus?" Korra asked, a playful tone etched into her voice. "…or should I say across the campus?"

"No, it's just frowned upon." Asami shrugged nonchalantly. "It doesn't say anything about it in the school handbook."

"I think you're the only person I know who's' actually read the handbook," Korra said. She and Asami chuckled quietly. The engineer couldn't help but look over at Korra; a small bit of happiness flowed through her when she spotted the familiar smile her friend always had. Dropping her head, she quickly looked away as Korra turned towards her. "Why are you here?" Korra asked. The moment was gone.

"I got your letter…and I had to come find you," Asami answered. She cleared her throat. "I'm sure you were hoping you'd be gone by now."

"Not necessarily." Korra shrugged. "I knew, eventually, that this was going to happen. It's better to get it over with now instead of later."

Asami nodded in understanding, before silence fell on them once more. Korra's leg began to bounce up and down. It instantly reminded Asami of how distraught she looked, how much pain she was in, when Korra relayed the news, the truth, to her about her father. "…I want to ask you something…"

"Shoot, you deserve answers," Korra said stiffly.

"What happened? That night?" Asami questioned. "Did my dad die instantly?"

_Korra slowly opened her eyes, her vision setting in. She grunted, carefully pulling her cheek away from the steering wheel. Glass littered the dashboard, sliding over the controls and buttons and onto the floor of the car. Her head rolled around on her neck, as she gained her bearings. Korra's eyes settled on the car opposite her on the road, shining brightly underneath her vehicles headlights. Smoke poured out from underneath the hood of the other car, the engine continuing to cause the car to shake in place._

_Pushing open her car door, she slipped out of the car, landing on the ground on her hands hands and knees. Korra slowly got to her feet before looking at her hands. Large pieces of glass were stuck in her palms. She lifted her hand to her mouth and yanked out the pieces with her teeth, ignoring the blood flowing down her wrists. Korra looked over at her car, her eyes widening as she glanced at the mangled metal, the broken glass, and the twisted plastic that had begun to melt. The smell of burnt rubber and smoke filled her nose._

_She slowly turned around, taking in the sight of the other vehicle. The front of the car was pushed in, scrunched up like an accordion. The hood was bent at an angle, blocking the windshield. Glass from both vehicles littered the ground, glittering underneath the street lights. Papers, a stray water bottle, a gym bag, a briefcase, a glasses case, car seats, a few month old dog treats, and a few pens were scattered on the ground._

_Above the car horn, she heard the movement of metal and glass, followed by a loud ground. 'Oh shit!' Korra breathed heavily as she walked over to the other vehicle, coughing as the fumes wafted in her face, burning her eyes and lungs. 'Has the ground always been this uneven?' she thought, stumbling a few steps. She slumped against the car door, her body seeping with sweat. Breathing deeply, she gritted her teeth, as she tugged the door open._

_Hiroshi Sato slumped over, landing on her upper body. Korra shouted in shock as she instinctively wrapped her arms around him, before falling back onto her ass. It was then she noticed the gashes and blood on her legs. Her right ankle had swelled up and turned a dark purple. Korra's arms began to shake, and her head turned light._

_She grunted, slowly scooting herself along the ground, pulling Hiroshi with her. The car horn continued to blare throughout the night, causing Korra's ears to ring. The back pockets to her pants were wearing away from the friction, but she continue to drag the two of them around the front of the vehicle towards the sidewalk._

_Korra used her elbows as a lever to help prop herself up, scraping her lower back and spine, as she shimmied up the sidewalk, moving Hiroshi's body to lie horizontally along the ground. She pushed herself over to the grass and sighed in content at the cool ground against her skin._

"Afterwards, I called Kuvira for help, and then I blacked out," Korra explained, the condensation of her breathing floating in the air. "Later, I woke up in the hospital, strapped up to numerous machines, and was told that your father passed away."

Asami turned on the bench so that she was facing Korra, who in turn flinched at the movement. She brushed her long dark hair out of her face, her lips slowly turning more res as the temperature slowly dropped. Her green eyes became much greener in contrast to her skin become more and more pale. "I-I have to admit…when you told me that…you caused the car accident…" she stammered as she shook with chills.

"When I killed your father," Korra said darkly, correcting her. She swallowed hard, refusing to turn and face Asami.

"Yes…that…I thought you didn't help him," she admitted. Korra's eyebrows furrowed. "Then I realized it was a hurtful and foolish though. You're always the first person to help someone in need, and it's a trait I greatly admire about you." Asami licked her lips, wincing as slight pain erupted, indicating them splitting due to the cold temperatures. "But…why did you leave in such a rush?"

Korra sighed slowly, lowering her head. "I saw you kissing Mako," she admitted. "It was around then I really knew I liked you. It was such a confusing and scary time, and I couldn't help but feel ill when I saw you together." She swallowed hard before bending down and grabbing her knapsack. Rummaging around, she pulled out a thermos before handing it to Asami, finally facing her. "I just assumed that you two were going to get back together. I didn't want to be around the idea of it, so I had to leave."

Asami removed the lid of the thermos before tilting her head back and drinking the hot liquid inside. She winced from the pain of scorching her tongue on the hot chocolate, but continued to drink it anyway as she instantly warmed up. She recapped the thermos before passing it back to Korra, who replaced it into the knapsack. "That wasn't it."

"What?"

"That's not what happened, Korra," Asami said quietly. "It was a goodbye kiss."

"What?" Mako asked, his voice barely audible over the loud music and the party guests. Asami tried to focus on him, but couldn't help but glance around the entry way to the Sato Mansion numerous times, watching to make sure no one spilled anything or broke a priceless artifact her father kept purchasing, just because he could.

"I…I just don't think it's going to work," Asami almost had to shout. Learning over, she placed her lips closer to his ear, as he bent down straining to hear. "I'm really sorry."

"Was it something I did?" Mako asked. He glared in anger while leaning away as a guy stepped in between him and Asami as he raced up the stairs, tugging on the wrist of a giggling girl. He scooted closer before propping his elbows up on his knees.

"No, you've been great," Asami said, placing a hand on his shoulder. "It's more about me, and I couldn't continue on with you feeling this way." She smiled politely before moving to the side, allowing two girls to pass by, one holding the other up as their feet didn't seem to work. "I know we've been talking about getting back together…but I just don't see it happening anymore."

Mako pressed his hands together before taping his lips with the tips of his fingers. Asami smoothed out any wrinkles that had gathered on her skirt, before folding her hands into her lap. She pulled her lips into a thin line a she waited for his response. Finally, he turned to face her once more. "Well, I appreciate you being honest with me," he said with a gentle smile.

"I could have picked a better time than a party," Asami quickly added, "but I didn't want to lead you on or anything."

"I understand." He shrugged. The two sat in silence, as much silence as they could muster with the loud music being pumped through the entire mansion. "What's important is that you feel comfortable." He added. Asami nodded in confirmation. With that he held out his hand. Actually, he practically shoved it into Asami's face. She half-smiled before slipping her hand into his, shaking it lightly. The two shared a smile before Mako leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Asami's lips.

"We'll still be friends," Asami said once they pulled away. "And, I'm not asking you, I'm telling you. I don't want to lose you over something like this."

"You haven't gotten rid of me so far," Mako said. Asami grabbed his hand and gave it a light squeeze before turning her focus back to the party. She slowly scanned the room, watching the partiers, silently making a note to herself on things she would potentially have to clean up later. It was then she realized that out of all the people she recognized from school, their was one person she hadn't seen yet.

_Where is Korra? She said she was going to come…_

"So…who's the special person that has your attention?" Mako's asked directly into her ear.

Asami jumped, temporarily forgetting that he was there. "No one," she answered.

"Are you sure?" he pressed. "You keep looking around, like you're trying to find someone." He leaned over, nudging his shoulder against hers. "I am planning on becoming a detective. What information do you need?"

Asami giggled into her hand. "Thanks." He chuckled before placing an arm around her shoulders, pulling her in for a side hug. "Enjoy the rest of the party. See you later?" she asked while getting to her feet.

"Of course." Mako nodded. He stuffed his hands into his pockets as he moved to stand up. "I'll always care about you, you know that right?"

"Yes. I'll always care about you too." Asami gave him one more smile before descending the staircase. She was immediately engulfed in a large crowd of people. Grunting softly as elbows, hands, and knees hit various places of her body, she was finally able to break free of the throngs of people. Straightening her clothing, she quickly noticed a blur of blue speed past her.

"Korra," Asami called out as her friend brushed past her. She apologized lightly while side=-stepping the partiers. A few of the drunk guys wolf-whistled as she walked by. Rolling her eyes, she continued to follow Korra towards the front door. As soon as she cleared a thick gathering of people, Asami sped up her walk, getting a bit closer. "Korra, wait."

"I have to go," Korra muttered without turning around. "I'll talk to you later." Asami frowned as she bolted towards the door.

"Korra!" Asami desperately wanted to run after her, but she had to stop and grab a small marble statue out of two football players' hands and move it to a safer place, in a nearby closet. After locking the door and scolding the two for the close call of property damage, Asami rushed out of the front doors and onto the top landing of the cement stairs of the Sato Estate. She watched as Korra's vehicle raced down the long driveway.

"I guess I'll…see you around…" Asami muttered. She sighed slowly before turning and heading back into the mansion. "What were you thinking?" she whispered.

"Excuse me?" Korra asked. She shifted on the metal bench of the bus shelter. Reaching up she lifted the collar of her jacket, blocking her reddening ears from the bitter cold.

"I asked, what are you thinking?" Asami repeated.

Korra's knee began to bounce faster. She exhaled sharply before reaching up and rubbing her temples. "A lot of things, to be honest," she answered. "May _I_ ask you a question? It's only fair."

"Go ahead."

"You and Mako broke up because you didn't like the idea of staying in a relationship that you didn't feel invested in anymore. Mako told me that he felt like you were interested in someone else." Asami nodded slowly, waiting patiently for the question that she knew was coming. "Was it me?"

"…Yes," she confirmed. "I don't know when it started, or how, but it did." She shyly looked down at her hands in her lap. Her cheeks turning a bright shade of pink, splashing her pale skin with some color. "It didn't hit me, fully hit me, until you started sending me the letters. That's when I knew that I wanted to be with you." Asami slowly lifted her head, her green eyes misting over. "I didn't mean to push you away."

"Yes, you did, and it's understandable," Korra quickly answered.

"No, it's not." Asami shook once more. Korra reached into her knapsack and pulled out a second jacket. She silently handed it over to Asami who quickly placed it on over top her red jacket. She sighed happily as she felt herself warming up some more. "Kuvira told me that…I only did it…because I felt that I deserve to be alone, that I'm afraid to be alone. She's right, I've always hated being by myself….ever since my mom…"

Korra raised a hand. "You don't have to say it."

"And now my dad's gone," Asami's voice cracked. "…and now you're going to leave to. I wanted to be alone and now I am.

"You're never going to be alone, Asami," Korra insisted. "I'll always be there for you…but…"

"But?"

"…I need some time for myself, to work things out," she explained. "Everything that went on after the crash…it's hard to explain…but I feel like it was potentially an awakening for me." Korra frowned. "I've never been a spiritual person, but after everything that's happened, I feel like I need to find myself."

"A lot of things have been said, and done. A lot of secrets have driven us to this point," Asami reached up and tucked some of her dark hair behind her ear. She used the side of Korra's glove to dab away the few tears that had trickled down her cheeks. "I get it Korra, I do," she insisted. "I need to learn how to stand on my own two feet before…"

"Before there's an 'us'?" Korra supplied.

"Will there ever be an 'us'?" Asami asked quietly. Before Korra could answer, a pair of headlights came around the corner of a building, heading straight for them. Korra tapped her hands against her legs before standing up. She turned and faced Asami, holding out her hand, helping her to her feet.

"Take care of yourself, okay?" Korra placed her hand firmly on top of Asami's, who was moving to slip off the blue gloves and return them.

"I will." Asami nodded. She wasn't sure if the tears spilling down her cheeks was from the bitter cold or from all of the emotions bottling up inside her. Years of secrets, longing, and frustration bubbled over, and were released. The minute Korra saw her tears, her eyes misted over, but she refused to let her own fall.

Asami quickly moved and grabbed Korra into a tight hug, burying her face into her neck. She held her tightly, smiling at the tightened embrace on Korra's end. While she was sure to find bruises later, she waited for as long as possible before releasing her hold. Upon pulling away, Asami instantly noticed when Korra turned her head to wipe a stray tear.

Picking up the blue knapsack, Asami held it out to Korra. Their eyes locked. "Bye," she said, her voice catching.

Korra reached out and wiped away the tears from Asami's face before receiving her back. Placing the straps onto her shoulders, she nodded once. "Bye," she said quietly. The shuttle pulled up in front of the two of them. Korra quickly stepped forward, sighing gently as the heat from the inside quickly warmed her.

"Oh," Asami called out from the door way. Korra paused, turning to look at her. "I'm really loving the hair," she complimented.

"Thanks." Korra reached up and toyed with the ends of her new short haircut. After giving Asami a small wave, she moved towards the back of the shuttle and sat down at the window seat on the opposite side of the bus. She didn't want to take the risk of watching Asami stand in one place as she moved towards her future.

The minute the doors closed shut, and the wheels pulled the shuttle away from the sidewalk, Korra burst into tears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In a past chapter, I had described tat the kiss between Mako and Asami had more passion behind it. It was more 'toned down' in this chapter to show Korra's hurt and imagination got the better of her that night.
> 
> Please let me know what you think! :)  
> [knocking-down-hesitation.tumblr.com](http://knocking-down-hesitation.tumblr.com)


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 7 months later...

**-7 months later-**

Asami quickly read the sign that hung on the front door in front of her:

_Please knock and don't ring the bell, so as to not disturb the baby._

Following instructions, she tapped on the wooden door with her knuckles. Taking a step back, she pulled her cell phone out, scanning the numerous notifications in the task pane of her phone. She was so engrossed in her emails she didn't notice the front door had opened.

"If you want to stay outside, that's fine with me," Kuvira muttered with an eye roll. Asami looked up from her phone before cracking a half smile.

"If that were true, then you wouldn't have invited me over." Kuvira rolled her eyes once more as she pondered the thought. Asami's smile widened as she heard gentle cooing emitting from the baby monitor on her hip. "Get rid of your smirk and get in here," Kuvira instructed as she stepped to the side. Asami passed the threshold before removing her shoes. "How are you not dying in this heat in that pant suit?"

"It's not too bad," Asami commented with a shrug.

"It's July, but you are from the Fire Nation," Kuvira answered before closing the door. She half-smiled before pulling Asami into a light hug. Asami noticed the half-smile and felt a twinge in her stomach before returning the hug. Many people had stated the Korra and Kuvira looked and acted the same… "How have you been?"

"Busy," Asami sighed as she followed Kuvira into the kitchen. Taking a seat at the table, she put her phone on silent. "But that was to be expected. The company is doing fantastically, Baatar included."

"Thanks for helping him land a job." Kuvira placed a glass of lemonade in front of Asami before taking the seat opposite of her. "It has made things a lot easier for us." She took a sip from her own glass, licking the excess liquid from her lips. "I don't know how we would have been able to handle everything if it weren't for your help, and Su's, of course."

"Well, I wanted to make sure the only thing you were worried about around graduation was graduating…and the baby of course," Asami answered with a smile. She downed half of her lemonade before placing her glass on a coaster. "How is she?" she question, cupping her hands together, resting them on the table top.

"She's great." Kuvira's usual stern face softened a bit. She reached up and brushed her long braid over her shoulder. "For a two month old, she is very well behaved." She sigh softly. "I'm actually waiting for it to get harder, to be honest. Everyone kept telling me it would really really hard the first few months."

"Be careful what you wish for," Asami warned.

"Exactly," she chuckled. Kuvira leaned to the side and unclipped the baby monitor from the elastic band of her pants. She held it up to her ear, smiling at the quiet breathing of her daughter. "Would you like to see her?"

"Maybe after she wakes up from her nap," Asami answered quickly. Kuvira raised an eyebrow but remained quiet. However, the corners of her lips twitched upwards. Kuvira knew that Asami wasn't very comfortable around children; their "date" to the homeless shelter had easily proven that fact. "How's Opal? I haven't talked to her in a while."

"She's doing well. Last I heard, she and Bolin have traveled back home for the summer. Opal is taking some courses that RCU didn't offer. I think she may end up graduating early because of it, in the long run."

"That's great! I was given the offer to graduate early but decided against it," Asami admitted.

"Really? I didn't know that." Kuvira frowned when she heard a soft whimper coming from the baby monitor. She watched as a green light on the side of the monitor flashed red. "Why?"

"I just didn't feel ready." Asami shrugged. "I didn't have much of a childhood. I've basically been working with or for my dad in some way, shape, or form since I was ten." She glanced down at her hands, staring at her reflection in her bright red nail polish. "I just wanted to feel…normal."

"…It had nothing to do with Korra?" Kuvira asked.

"…Maybe a little bit."

Kuvira nodded, opting to finish her lemonade instead of responding. Asami propped her elbow up onto the arm of her chair before cupping her chin with her hand. She pursed her red lips and motioned towards Kuvira with a small jerk of her head; silently allowing her to ask the question she knew was coming. "Have you heard from her?" Kuvira wondered.

"No," Asami muttered. "I kind of expected her to be at our graduation,"

"Me too. I know she got the invitations because the mail didn't bounce them back." Kuvira glanced at the baby monitor once more as the green light to red, and her daughter let out another cry.

"Should you go and check on her?"

"The nanny will," Kuvira answered. She refused to look at Asami as she continued to watch the baby monitor. Her daughter let out an even louder wail. "Actually, I will check on her. Want to come?"

"Sure," Asami said. She finished the rest of her lemonade, placed her and Kuvira's glasses into the sink before following her up around the house, up the stairs, and towards the baby's room. Kuvira placed the baby monitor on her hip before knocking twice. "Why are you knocking?" she asked.

"Because of the person on the other side of this door," Kuvira muttered before turning the door handle. She opened the door to the baby's room and immediately walked over to the crib as Asami stayed frozen in the door way. She was too shocked, seeing Korra shaking a rattle near the baby, to do anything else.

Korra smiled as Kuvira picked up the baby, placing her on her shoulder. Korra's smile quickly faded when she noticed Asami in the doorway, clean pressed, and her dark hair pulled back into a slick ponytail. Korra brushed her brown bangs out of her face, before giving an awkward wave.

"Hey," Korra greeted her quietly.

"Hi," Asami answered slowly. Kuvira looked in between the two of them as they stared at each other. She wrinkled her nose, wincing in disgust as she lifted the baby's backside towards her and sniffing.

"Oh, she needs to be changed," she groaned. The baby let out a loud wail. Asami flinched, raising a hand to cover he right ear. "That should take about…oh, twenty minutes, seeing how fussy she can get," Kuvira announced. Side-stepping around Asami, she cooed and kissed her daughter lightly on the forehead as she headed towards her bedroom.

"Shouldn't she change the baby in here?" Asami questioned, glancing at the changing table.

"Do you want to smell it?" Korra countered.

Asami exhaled slowly out of her nose a she contemplated Korra's words. She heard the tones of amusement in her words. "I didn't know you were here."

"I was going to surprise everyone later." Korra dropped the rattle into the crib, before nervously rubbing her arm. "I just got into contact with Kuvira first because we're working on something together."

"Oh, what?"

Korra hummed quietly as she glanced at the ground. The ends of her short hair flittered against her chin. Asami had expected her hair to be growing out at this point, but was surprise to see that Korra had kept up with the new short hair do. "While I was in the hospital recovering I kept my studies up. It gave me an escape, it gave me something to focus on," Korra explained quietly. "Because of that, I was able to stay on track and keep my academic standing. While I was away, I transferred my credits and took a lot of courses." She lifted her head and looked in Asami's direction. "This fall I get to graduate."

"Korra, that's great," Asami said. Her initial reaction was to fake her happiness, but it came out genuine. She was proud of Korra and all of her accomplishments.

"I started thinking of my degree, how I could use it in my life. During my travels I met a little girl who was working for her parents, helping their family make money," she continued. "She skips school pretty often to help out. It made me think of Kuvira and her life troubles, and for the child she stayed in touch with at the homeless shelter. I wanted to make a change…"

"And…."

"I'm opening a school for troubled youth," Korra announced. A smile fluttered onto her lips, clearly showing how excited and proud she is of her newest venture. "It doesn't matter their circumstance: orphans, homeless, abandoned…if they want an education then I'll give them one." Her blue eyes shined brightly, and Asam couldn't help but be drawn to them. "Pema even has a degree in special education, so we'll be able to expand on that as well."

"That's fantastic!"

"One of the first students will be Akane." Korra swallowed hard. Asami wasn't sure if it was because they had full eye contact, or she was just wetting her throat. "Kuvira always talked about that girl, so I thought she would be a good start."

Asami nodded a few times, before her smile faded. A silence filled the room. She wracked her brain, trying to come up with something to talk about. "…Have you seen anyone else yet?"

"No." Korra quickly shook her head. She winced, blinking rapidly as some of her hair got in her eyes. Asami couldn't help but smile at the situation in front of her. "You're one of the first few people I wanted to see, which is why I didn't tell anyone I was here." She stuffed her hands into her pockets, before gently rocking back and forth. "How have you been?"

"Pretty busy," Asami answered lightly.

Korra smiled gently. "No need to be modest. You're the youngest CEO that I know of." She chuckled, reaching up and rubbing the back of her neck. "Well, you're the _only_ CEO I know."

"It's kind of a weird feeling to be in charge of…so much," Asami answered.

"You can do it," Korra said with a shrug. "Plus, you give young girls something to aim for. You're telling them that they can be CEO's or engineers or mechanics…or a pilot, if they wanted." Her blue eyes brightened as she snapped her fingers. "Maybe you should come and talk to the female students at the school when it opens."

"Sounds great."

Korra's licked her lips, drawing in a shaky breath. She stopped rocking, and stood stock still, her hands lightly shaking. She cleared her throat twice. "The real reason I'm here is….I wanted to apologize," she whispered. "I never did, months ago, and it's haunted me every passing day." Her blue eyes began to mist over. "I'm sorry for everything."

"You don't have to apologize." Asami shook her head.

"Of course I do."

"No, you don't," she insisted. Asami took a few small steps into the baby's room. She crossed her arms over her chest. "You didn't deliberately go out with intentions to hurt or kill anyone."

"But I was drinking," Korra said slowly. It came out sounding like a question more than a statement.

"Yes, I know but you were buzzed." Asami held up her hand, silencing Korra who had looked like she wanted to continue to beat herself up. "It doesn't change anything, and it was wrong, but I get it," she said gently. "You made a choice and it turned into a mistake. Besides, having to break news like that to someone…there's never a good time to say it."

"I just want you to know that I never intentionally meant to hurt you."

Asami stepped forward and placed her hands onto Korra's shoulders. The shorter girl flinched slightly at her tought. This prompted Asami to tighten her grip. "I know, Korra. I know who you are. Sure, when we first met you were abrasive, loud, boastful, and somewhat cocky," she listed off.

"Gee, thanks," Korra rolled her eyes. While she looked annoyed, Asami noticed the familiar sparkle in her blue eyes whenever she found something to be funny.

"It was just to hide how sensitive and caring you actually are. It's a part of you I lo…" Asami quickly clamped her jaw shut. She released her hands from Korra's shoulders before taking a few steps back. Korra tilted her head to the side, peering closely at her.

"Asami…."

Asami sighed hard. She reached up and rubbed one of her temples. "Love," she admitted. "It's a part of you I love." She crossed her arms over her chest, glancing at the circus themed wallpaper in the room. "It's how I know why you had to leave. As hard as it was…I couldn't stand the idea of you losing you and my dad-"

"But you didn't," Korra said, taking a step forward.

"You never responded to any of my letters," Asami abruptly changed the topic of conversation.

"…I was scared to open them, to be honest. I was afraid of what you were really thinking of me, and our situation."

"Did you really mean it?"

"What?"

"When we fought…you said you were in love with me." Asami asked the wall. "Did you mean it?"

Korra paused, her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Asami glanced over at her Korra as silence stretched in between them. Korra pulled her lips into a thin line. "Why would I lie about something like that?" her voice was barely above a whisper.

"You wouldn't." Asami couldn't help but smile. She faced Korra once more, willing the pinch behind her eyes to fade away. The familiar pain clouded her thoughts. "Korra, while you were gone, I gave us a lot of thought."

"Us?" Korra's eyebrows rose.

"Yes, about everything that's happened. I don't want you out of my life." Asami reached up and dabbed the corner of her eye with her knuckles, trying to keep any tears from falling. "You're very important to me. Going through this, I've seen your deepest lows, and you've seen mine as well." Korra half-smiled. "I wrote those letters because I didn't' want you to feel alone, like me. Even though I never got a response, I wanted it to be a comfort for you to know that someone cared-"

"Asami, I have to be honest with you," Korra interrupted. "I kind of lied," she said slowly. "I was in town for your, Kuvira's, Baatar Jr.'s, and Mako's graduation." Asami's eyes slowly widened as the words tumbled from behind Korra's lips. "I streamed it while babysitting Pema's and Tenzins children. I wasn't there in person because I wasn't ready to see everyone." She swallowed hard. "I'm sure they found out about what I did."

"Everyone does know," Asami confirmed.

"What'd they say?" Korra lowered her head, but glanced up at Asami, her eyes peering through her bangs. She reminded Asami of a young child asking their parent for something they already knew the answer to, as if she were afraid of what was about to be said.

"That you made a mistake and they wished you stayed in town so they could be there for you. They also understood why you had to leave."

"So, they know about what happened with us?"

"Everyone already knew," Asami tittered. "…except maybe Mako, but he quickly figured it out."

"I heard he's working part-time with Beifong now." Korra flicked her head, forcing her hair out of her face. Reaching up, she tucked some loose strands behind her ear. She pulled herself up to her full height, trying to find a comfortable way to stand.

"He really seems to enjoy it," Asami commented. "He worked so hard to get to where he is now."

"It's cool that you were able to stay friends after everything," Korra commented.

"…The same can be said for us."

Korra's blue eyes widened as she gasped in shock. "You still see us as friends?" she asked in disbelief.

Asami tilted her head to the side, looking up at the ceiling in thought. Korra began to lightly chew on hr bottom lip as she waited for a response. Finally, Asami slowly shook her head. "I don't think we're friends anymore, to be honest."

Korra slowly nodded. "I get it."

"No, you don't," Asami said with a soft smile. "We already kissed…three times I think?…we're kind of past friends at this point." She reached out and lightly jostled Korra by the shoulders. Korra couldn't help but smile as a bit of the tension began to fade.

"What are you saying?"

"When you were gone, it made things easier to comprehend. If we would have actually become a couple, it would have been disastrous whenever your news was revealed. I'd have to deal with the idea of a sense of betrayal."

"You already have," Korra pointed out.

"Well, yes," Asami faltered, "but I think it helped us grow. Would you have been able to handle dating me while keeping that secret to yourself?"

"Probably not, no," she quickly answered.

Asami reached out and took a hold of both of Korra's hands. She ran her thumbs lightly against her dark knuckles, silently reassuring her, attempting to steady her shaking hands. "Korra, I forgive you, for everything," she said. :I understand why you did what you did. It will be hard to get over my father's death, it still is. I don't think I'll ever get over it, but I don't want to lose you because of it." Asami licked her lips, her words speeding up a bit. "You're my best friend, and I remember a life before you entered it, and I hate it."

"So…"

"I want to be with you, so badly." At her words, a bright smile formed on Korra's face. Asami felt a rush of heat flow over her body when Korra tightened her grip. "However, I think we should take things slow. We should just let Ii happen naturally, so we're both comfortable."

"I agree," Korra answered.

"Y-you do?"

"I've been thinking a lot too, and while I was gone, the one person I greatly missed was you," Korra explained. She bashfully raised a shoulder. "I don't know, it's something about you. You've been there for me for so long, through everything, and I don't think I'd be able to continue through life without you in it." Korra half-smiled and it filled Asami with joy, "I love you, Asami."

"I love you too," Asami whispered. "I'm glad you're back. I didn't think you ever would."

"I'm glad I'm back too." Korra's smile faded and a look of uncertainty and discomfort formed on her face. She released on of Asami's hands before rubbing her neck once more. "Is it alright if I give you a hug?"

Asami laughed before throwing her arms around Korra's neck. Korra tensed up a bit, before slipping her arms around Asami's waist, pulling her in tightly. As the seconds passed, the two tightened their hold on each other, not wanting to break apart. They embrace didn't have any empty spots, filling it with their bodies and emotions, trying to make up for the past seven months.

When they finally pulled away, Korra reached up to brush a stray tear off of the top of Asami's cheek bone. The two stared into each other's eyes their breaths tickling their skin. The only sound in the room was their rapid heartbeats, staring out separate, staccato, soon forming into one.

"Oh, I know you're not about to kiss in a baby's room," Kuvira commented as she re-entered the room. Korra and Asami glanced at each other before pulling apart, laughing lightly. A light flush racing across their cheeks. Korra rolled her eyes, lightly punching Kuvira on the arm a she passed by. Kuvira took a seat in a rocking chair, cradling the baby in her arms.

"Thanks, Kuvira, for ruining my life seven months ago," Korra said with slight sarcasm.

"That's what I'm here for," Kuvira answered with a smirk. She glanced down at her child, straightening the shirt she was wearing before glancing up at Korra and Asami. "Anyone want to hold her?" she asked.

"I'll pass," Asami declined, taking a small step backward. Korra squeezed her on the shoulder before stepping forward and holding her arms out. Kuvira carefully slipped her daughter into Korra's outstretched arms, lovingly stroking the dark fuzzes on the top of her head.

"Hey, little one," Korra cooed, rubbing her nose against the baby's cheek. "I'm Korra. Your mother is a fantastic friend, so I know she'll take great care of you." Korra gave Kuvira smile and a wink. Kuvira rolled her eyes, looking away, but not before Asami noticed the light blush on her cheeks bones. "You easily proved that good things can come out of seemingly bad situations. So, I'm sure you'll live up to your name, Natsuki."

"Summer…and hope," Asami whispered before turning towards Kuvira. "That's a beautiful name, for a beautiful child," she commented.

"Thank you," Kuvira said graciously. She then raised an eyebrow. "So, what's going on with you two?" she demanded. Korra and Asami shared a look. "I mean, I think I have a right to know since I was in the middle of this whole thing."

"…Hope…I think," Korra answered.

Asami nodded. "Me too."

**The End!**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that was 'Cyrano: To Asami with Love". 126 subscribers, 520 kudos, and 56 bookmarks later, this story is completed. You all don't know how grateful I am for the reception I received from this story. Writing is what I want to do for the rest of my life, and being able to write fanfiction helps keep my passions alive.
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed the story, and for some background info on what went on as I wrote it, please head over to tumblr and check out my ['Cyrano: To Asami with Love Trivia'](http://knocking-down-hesitation.tumblr.com/post/137833361711/cyrano-to-asami-with-love-trivia) post. Enjoy, and I hope you will continue to follow me with my other stories.
> 
> Thanks!
> 
> ~Angel
> 
> Please let me know what you think! :)  
> [knocking-down-hesitation.tumblr.com](http://knocking-down-hesitation.tumblr.com)


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